If you hang out with a mixed group of friends on regular occasions and at venues that encourage the taking of group photos, you can’t help but notice patterns in how the women organize themselves for the camera lens. This snapshot (heh) of female behavior illuminates so much more than lighting and focal preferences.
There’s always the Lens Hog, of course. She’s usually the hottest and most sociable girl. Her spot is right up front, center, and smiling like she has a huge secret about a rival she can barely contain. She stands with her hip jutting outward for maximum femininity. She is a leader partly as a function of her looks and partly because her looks have facilitated her fearless socialization, which often cows other girls to fall in line behind her.
Where it gets interesting is in how the women below the Lens Hog on the female hierarchy self-arrange for “spontaneous” group photos. The jockeying for snapshot status is nasty, brutish and short; a years’ worth of repressed emotions often gets played out in the few seconds it takes for a bunch of women to line up for a group shot.
First up is the Court Concubine. This just-short-of-pretty girl has flirted with every man in her social group, and has probably slept with at least two of them who have high fived each other over it. She’s fun, but she’s no alpha’s first choice. She will scoot right away for a position wedged in between the men standing in the back line of the photo, with her arms draped languidly over the adjacent dudes. She’s the one whose boob “accidentally” presses into some guy’s chest. (Or belly, if she’s short.) And in every photo her headlights are on, for some reason.
Next is the Queen’s Consort. She’s the second in command girl who’s almost as pretty as the Lens Hog but not as extroverted. She shadows the Lens Hog and will quickly assume a position at her side for a photo. Her smile hints at resentment. She looks like she sticks pins in a voodoo doll of her hotter friend. She screws like she’s getting back at all the Lens Hogs who robbed her of the throne, and that’s a good thing.
Then there’s the Chubby Jester. She’s sorta cute, sorta chubby, and lots o’ fun. She has the personality of a hot girl trapped in a mediocre girl’s body. She will beeline for a spot in no-woman’s-land, tucked between the front and back lines, so that her body is obscured but her face shines for the camera, looking like it sits, disembodied, atop the shoulders of the girls situated just in front of her. It’s all smoke and mirrors with this girl, but at least her smile is genuine.
The interchangeable Pawns are next. These girls are filler for the cheap seats. Neither pretty nor ugly, sociable nor shy, they dutifully attend to their posts in the wings of the photo, adding heft and preselective gravitas to the stars at the center. Many of these girls are off the market, and have grown weary of the group photo circus. They no longer care about maneuvering for status or pleasing the men or the Lens Hog; they’re just there out of a sense of obligation and to drink and say to themselves that at least they’re not like those couples who sit at home all the time schnoococoonoocuddling. They take their sweet time finding a spot in the photo line-up, which ironically makes them seem more photogenic.
In the mix you may toss the Facebook Whore. A subspecies of the classic attention whore, the Facebook Whore angles for a position that will produce a photo she can upload to Facebook that will best reveal her carefree, sexually wild social life to the asshole ex-boyfriend she still loves. She is the one with her tongue out, like Miley Cyrus having an epileptic fit. She’s not particularly well-liked by anyone, so she often winds up at the edge of the photo leaning way in, out in front of the other girls, grabbing some of the Lens Hog’s limelight. She’s a clueless photobomb. A photoboob.
The Pained Plain Jane cuts a sad figure. She hates these stressful social tests, because she knows she’s not pretty enough to compete with most of the girls but there’s no opt-out clause that would save her dignity. If she tries to ignore the group photo, her friends will think she’s being anti-social and draw attention to her pitiful solitude with cloyingly earnest solicitations. If she joins, she looks out of place, her bland features thrown into saturated relief, her smile so fake and try-hard and now permanently recorded for history. So she loiters around the periphery of the assembling and rapidly congealing group, takes a shot at a position well within the bowels of the group in hopes she’ll get lost in the jumble of faces, gets pushed aside by another girl gunning for the same spot, and eventually settles like a gimp sea turtle shuffling into a hole in the beach sand at the far reaches of the group to lay her forgotten eggs, where ironically everyone who views the photo will notice her because she’s the only girl not being embraced by anyone.
Finally, there’s the Photogeneric Fug. Ugly, knows it, has stopped pretending she’s not. She doesn’t need the excuse of a group photo opt-out clause. She just heads for the bar to munch on beer nuts and mentally formulate her next Tumblr post about cisgender privilege.
The group photo sociosexual dynamic provides plenty of opportunity for the player to exploit. For instance, take a firm hold of the shoulder of the Pained Plain Jane as she’s wandering in utter confusion and panic around the gathering crowd, and hustle her into your orbit at the center of the group. You’re now her white knight rescuer. Except little does she know you’re using her as a pawn to tease the hottie you really want. “Hey stop hogging the camera. Your big head is blocking out your friend here.” You get points for the chivalry and the neg. Caress your wallet condom, because it’s about to taste freedom tonight.
PS: There’s one other type of girl you sometimes see at group photos. She’s a rare bird, but getting less rare. Her sleazy beauty is juxtaposed against her abominable character. She’s the “group selfie” girl who will stretch out her arm and take a selfie — like Barack Kenyatta Obama recently did at Mandela’s funeral — of herself surrounded by her group of sycophants. It’s one thing to take a selfie in the privacy of your bathroom and tweet it because THIRSTY ATTENTION WHORE, or to take a selfie in public while on vacation because you’re too shy to ask for assistance; but it’s a whole other level of narcissistic indulgence to force all your friends to squat like a human halo around your awesomeness as you point that camera straight up your nostrils.
You, Group Selfie Girl, deserve exactly one pump — like Obama’s first term — and one dump — like Obama’s second term.
There’s something sad about girls who habitually snap selfies, particularly girls who labor to capture certain “sides” of her personality. It’s all tragically contrived empty exhibitionism.
Or certain myspace angles, if that’s what you mean by “sides.”
Fame, fortune, guns and sex – Dan Bilzeran – Instagram King
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2521591/Dan-Bilzeran-poker-playboy-crowned-Instagram-King-reveals-lunatic-lifestyle.html
Also interesting are how these dynamics change when men are in said picture with women…and what guys’ body language reveals during the snapshot as well.
The one in the back whose face is mostly obscured by a rocks glass and is making the “coercion” sign with her left hand is me.
Unless I’m already tipsy, in which case, it’s a finger gun, pointed at my head.
Or if I’m drunk, in which case, it’s just the Shocker.
Why some girls think every goddamn thing has to be photographed, I’ll never understand.
[CH: girls think this because the power of their beauty is fleeting. they want it captured for eternity. oh, and they also like to feel admired and glamorous.]
My suspicion has always been that it’s because some chicks don’t think they’re having fun unless everyone around them KNOWS how much fun they’re having. Hence the ritualistic group photos that must be instantly uploaded to every social media outlet in existence, followed with the antiphonic screeches of “WOOOO!”
I mean, everybody likes to feel admired and glamorous. But it would seem that it would be a bit easier to feel admired and glamorous if you were paying attention to what’s happening around you, vice being totally absorbed in your stupid little electronic binkie.
True story: Last time I was in Vegas, I was at this really great nightclub. One of these places where you don’t even get to sit down unless you plunk down $500 for a table and at least $125 for a bottle. DJ, naked chicks in bathtubs, the whole nine yards. I’m dancing and I look over and here’s this table of girls who were clearly either models, strippers, or both. 9s and 10s every one. And they’re not dancing. They’re not drinking. They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.
I’m an anthropologist at heart, so I started glancing over every couple of minutes, just to see what they were doing. The only time they looked up from their phones was to take pictures and yell “WOO!” Then they’d go right back to their iPacifiers.
[CH: women like to “submit” to the camera. it’s a stand-in for a dominant, judgemental man. another consideration is that we’re living in the age of narcissism. social atomization combined with self-regard and instant whoring social media produces women in love with the lens.]
and on dating sites like match, of course, 90% of female photos are group attention whore photos with them holding girly drinks with 4 to 8 friends. some of them have *only* these photos so the man literally cannot tell which one is the creator of the profile. I make fun of these whores.
This is how you can tell, Grim: The creator of the profile is the prettiest one in the photo. The type of girl who does that uses her uggo friends to make herself look prettier in comparison.
I’m done with online so-called ‘dating’, useless crap one and all, 5 minutes at the club are better than 5 years on Pregnant or Fat (or any other site) OKCupid’s nothing but uggo manatee impersonators, etc. etc. BUT in the days when I still looked at that shit, I found exactly the opposite to be the case. The uglier/-est one in the pic was almost always the profile’s creator/owner.
My OKC profile:
What I’m doing with my life:
“Trying to figure out which one is you. You know you have like five pictures of you and the same six friends, right? Could you add a circle or arrow or something? Until then I’m assuming you are the awkward looking one.”
What’s a dickfor?
What are tied falopian tubes for?
I lean towards “narcissism.” Also, “attention span of a mayfly.”
iPacifiers
Were they sucking on them-? I’d like to think that would be hot, if they were strippers, but it would just be … odd.
What club was it?
On topic- I think it’s just a manifestation of generic female narcissism- nothing more complicated than that.
“I look over and here’s this table of girls who were clearly either models, strippers, or both. 9s and 10s every one. And they’re not dancing. They’re not drinking. They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.”
They were hookers. Welcome to Vegas, where the working girls work the nightclubs. Some of them even make up elaborate backstories to sound like they aren’t hookers and don’t trigger the guy’s “ASD” (“guys look at this hot girl way out of my beta league that I met who totally isn’t a hooker because she says she’s a dentist from Wisconsin on a bachelorette party!! She says her friends are all going home but she wants to keep partying and just broke up with her boyfriend and is only in Vegas for one more night and her hotel room is in the same hotel as mine!!” lol).
It was a mindfuck the first time I partied there and learned hookers weren’t always the toothless old crack addict on the street corner like in the movies lol
“They’re not talking to each other, or anybody else. They’re just playing with their cell phones.”
For clarification, with the advent of smartphones they don’t have to troll the actual club and risk running into cops anymore except as a last resort or out of convenience or till certain times in the night etc.
They’re txting their regular clients, setting up a meet if they’re in town or just stoking the fire all “miss you babe I hate Vegas I wish I could escape this life but I have so many bills to pay
this one guy is so creepy I wish someone could just take me away from this life 
miss youuuu xoxoxo” style.
They’re also managing/replying to their Plenty of Fish profile and escort site e-mails cause they can do that from their phones now. The group photos are probably part of a “bring your friends and meet my sexy girlfriends!!” thing.
Vegas hookers are pro at their craft lol
Where is the photo to illustrate?
+1
Yeah, where’s the pic?
WTF is your icon – a landwhale bulldyke mudshark?!?
Or a landshark dykebull mudwhale?
http://2.gravatar.com/avatar/1d43dc906e634286ae55c22fdb9661a3
Whatever it is, it’s some nasty, nasty shiznat.
Jump on your facebook and randomly select any girl.
> “Jump on your facebook and randomly select any girl.”
LOL’ed.
Now we need one about the dynamics when men are in group photos.
bro men don’t do group attention whore photos to prove they are alcoholics on FB. only women do that.
ya they do, i was out with some friends there last weekend that i havent drank with ina while and many of them have become snapchat selfie whores themselves…also there is group dynamics in male photos, mostly involving physical dominance like arm around shoulders by taller men on smaller men.
Concurred. Men only take pictures at the behest of women
And they do so with much reservation.
No shit, because it usually turns into a 15 minute photo shoot instead of a snapshot.
A russian anchorwoman tries to shoot from kalashnikov.Lots of fun:
Crying? There’s no crying when shooting….
That’s only a 5.45 too. No where near the kick of the 7.62 x39 round, which isn’t that bad anyway. Her last words when she began crying were “I don’t want to serve in the Army”. This is most girls at the range.
Yeah, I can handle the 7.62, what’s her fucking excuse?
Ever fired a SW .500?
She was firing without even looking where the gun was pointing. She could kill people that way! Seriously she should spend 30 days in military jail for that, it cannot be tolerated and must be punished so that she doesn’t dare do it again.
The title says “Normal Female Reaction”.
yes this is wht she said and this is what is written.wtf.
so many russian speakers at ch lol?
If you want a Russian or Ukrainian wife, it makes some points.
Great example of why women should be banned from combat.
Caramba, here’s a fun thing: we were fourteen people about to play laser game, and I was suggesting we just randomly divide in teams. This stocky Mexican feminist who was the gf of one of the guys opined that “We should play girls against guys.”
I told her that nah, I’ve played this before, and the girls are never as good as the guys, because they’re not serious enough. They lose steam after ten minutes. Guys run more, search more for targets, shoot and regroup faster and so on.
You should have seen her face.
We divided into teams randomly like I had suggested, and when it was all over and we checked the statistics in the computer the girls were at the bottom in the ranking, the guys at the top. There was a bit of a mix in the middle of the ranking, don’t remember the exact numbers, but you get the picture.
ALWAYS the same when I have played laser tag. Always the same in fencing. Always the same in archery. Always the same.
So, women in the military? I advocate that all the feminists be put in front duty, in their own company. They should not be allowed to hide in cushy jobs behind the front, let them all fight as footsoldiers. For sport, give them APCs. By the end of the war you have a lot of dead feminists. The few survivors will have ruined knees and aching joints for life from carrying gear with their fragile bodies, and 100 percent of them will suffer from PTSD. If it’s 30 percent for men, it’s 100 percent for women.
So, ‘Call me’ Dave and Barry were on for a threesome with aging blonde Scandinavian tartette? I ruled out fag-hag. Nice how scandi-slut has her legs firmly closed and is leaning away from Barry whilst Dave is leaning in. I guess SamCam and Michelle will be filing for Divorce. Makes me sick when the world’s top two Anglo-leaders are given the run around by an affirmative-action attention-whore aka the Danish P.M.. Hard to believe those Danes used to be Vikings.
Interesting how you don’t mention Obama being Black, but you can’t stop mentioning that Helle Thorning-Schmitt is from a Scandinavian country – you refer to it four times in a short paragraph. Let me guess, you’re a Slav or a Med. Typical seething hatred of Nordics, who you hate for having more attractive women and hate for having invented pretty much everything of value. I suggest you move to Moldavia or Greece and live with your brethren. That would be fun to see.
No pics bro?
We need examples, those who stray from Facebook
Don’t just look at their faces. Many of them will do the tea pot pose, hand placed on hip. Coupled with bended knee, because standing straight will make their legs look fat.
Even funnier is watching all the girls hover to the phone that took the picture. “We all good? We all good? Reshoots, anybody?” Heaven forbid you’re caught looking like you really do in your everyday environment!
I’m a little teapot, short and stout…
http://calibermag.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/new-sorority-girl.jpg
You know, if you look at pretty much each of the girls in that photo, then you’ll quickly realize that they’re all remarkably average-looking.
The only thing which really catches your eye is the fact that they are 1/2 to 3/4 nekkid.
Good God, can you imagine being the son of one of those chicks, and stumbling upon that picture, about twenty or thirty years from now, and realizing what a filthy fucking whore your mother was when she was younger?
Ugh.
Serious Oedipal problems right there.
DNFW.
Remarkbly average-looking. And you’d sleep with any one of them who’d give you the time of day. A guy’s vanity and pickiness on the internet is completely dependent on no one being able to see just how much or with who he scores.
Good thing they didn’t invent being slutty or sex that isn’t proper respectable missionary sex until the 90s so your mom was never a slut, whew!! Not like these slutty bar whores these days!
You crawl out of one
And spend the rest of your life trying to get back in one.
It’s funny seeing the fat ones acting as book ends keeping the crowd contained within.
Tranny, far left side.
I think the point of the bended knee is to make their thigh muscles look more prominent, and the teapot pose to show their cleavage better.
Dude, no pics? OP does not deliver.
Where are the pics?
Also, since my last attempts at commenting didn’t register (I guess they were too long?) I just wanted to say that with BBWs you don’t see this type of shit. One girl can barely fit in a single photo. Wow, I’m glad I date thicker girls.
Please tell me your just a troll you sick sick sick fuck
I’ve seen personally grandmothers shoot an AK clone at the range with no problem.
OT: I’m sure you’re aware of the Internet slap-fight between Lordes some 17 year old singer (“Royal”) and various rappers and Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift. The former criticized the latter for sexualizing music and presenting a negative image.
Well, some rapper I’ve never hear of called Tyler the Creator Instagrammed a picture of 17 year old Lordes and her 24 year old boyfriend, James Lowe at the beach with the caption hahahahahahah!
Yeah you guessed it, Lowe is a reedy Asian guy. Judging from the few pics I found, Lordes is semi-cute for a 17 year old, a non-pretty face, and already threatening to run to fat. Lowe is not exactly Mr. Dreamboat, he scores I think because Lordes is just not that pretty.
Two observations, both hilarious. Feminist semi-uglies like Lordes vs. the rappers and Disney prostitots is break out the popcorn time, and secondly it seems girls who can choose want a guy AT LEAST seven years older than them even if that makes the guys mid twenties when they are teens. See Alec Baldwin’s daughter Ireland, sometime model, dead ringer for her mom Kim Basinger, at 17 with her surfer bad boy of age 25. Lagniappe: the rappers are mocking Lordes because she’s so non-hot at 17 the best she can do is Long Duck Dong.
I’m as socially conservative as they come. And I say, throw in the towel, lower the age of consent to say, 15, and call it a day. I don’t like it, but I can recognize a lost cause when I see it. Maybe allowing slender teens to compete for the top guys will cause a reassessment on the cookie dough consumption of the American female. Maybe. Nothing causes butt-hurt rage like a near fattie seeing an Alpha with a much younger woman. Good times.
Lorde is half Croat, hence the ugliness. (Which will only get worse. She is at her prettiest now, at a young age. Imagine five years from now.) Her song Royals is good, with its beat and its criticism of dumb rap music – which of course the media quickly called “racist”. But no one connected to the current entertainment industry should be held in high esteem.
It’s always a blast running into girls from highschool or previous partners with an 18 or 19 year old on your arm, being 28.
Watching the look on their faces as you slide your arm around her slender shapely waist,
That is look of defeat acknowledged.
Watch out fellas.
Sweden is an interesting laboratory as to what happens when the elites of a country go as rabidly leftoid as one can possibly get, import groids ‘n muzzies by the truckload, and start p!ssing off a sizable fraction of their own people. In all other European countries, the elites are more moderate and gentler.
If there’s any country in Europe where leftoids will end up being hung from lampposts, it’s Sweden.
Where should this go?
https://www.facebook.com/TheTutuProject
How low does a man have to go to show support for his wife? Why is self-ridicule held up as a virtue?