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Need some CH readers help. Been going out sarge’n by myself lately. I never do this, trying to throw myself into my fears. I’m 30 so time is not on my side.
Unless you look unusually prematurely old, time is most certainly on your side. Most men hit their *physical* sexual attractiveness peak in their mid 30s (as long as they don’t get soft and pudgy). Men can sustain their *attitudinal* sexual attractiveness well past their 30s and into late middle age. The point of this reminder is to wake you from falling into very bad and confidence sapping feelings of self-doubt. Chicks most certainly do not dig self-doubting Thomases.
I met this Hawaiian girl at a bike festival with her gay friend(guy). She had an amazing body, big ass HB 7.5. face was alright nothing amazing. We all talked for a bit, I got her number about 10 minutes into the convo. She gave me a free token for a beer/basically bought me a beer and told me I had “nice eyes”.
I’m just gonna assume she’s not an industry worker.
Anyways they were leaving and asked if I came alone I said yea I was gonna meet someone but they bailed.
Fibbing is always better than DLVing. (Demonstrating lower value.) Don’t tell a girl that your friends “bailed”. Tell her you bailed on them to chat up new people.
She said come with us to the street fair you aren’t doing anything.
An in-demand man is always doing something. She’s already trying to box you into a beta corner. This is an example of a mild form of shit test that many women will utilize without really being aware that they’re doing so.
I told her there was a party later and she and her friend should come and I was going to hang around. (bad move right??).
Not necessarily. Manufactured scarcity can be alluring. And you want to avoid following a girl around like an affection starved puppy. But if she’s really showing interest in you, it’s better to push for more time together than to retreat from the playing field by promising to meet at a later time. To put it simply, if the road is opening up to you, hit the gas. Don’t park and wait for a tow.
I thought I could ride out my high and stay approaching.. I guess this is a good lesson in know when to close the day?
Right. The point of approaching is fucking. Not more approaching.
I text her later on that day
Me- ” hit me up if you want to come to the party”
her- “ok for sure”.
Never heard from her.
Could be any number of reasons why she went cold. But I’d start with your phrasing. Don’t write “…if you want to come to the party”. That’s pleading for her company. Instead, state “come to the party at X. see you there.” AAS. Always. Assume. The Sale.
1 day later I text her around 10:30 am a funny meme that has samuel L jackson from Pulp Fiction pointing a gun and say “morning mother fucker”
If she was a friendly guy you just met would you be sending him funny memes the very next day? No? Then you shouldn’t be sending them to a girl you just met. Remember, dude, you hardly know her and you have better things to do. Why would you waste time trying to cheer up a girl you talked to for a few minutes, unless you were some needy beta desperate for a love connection?
Listen, girls can SMELL value on a man from twelve parsecs. They can sense it like you can visually tell the difference in nanometers between the right and left boobs.
nothing all day, until 10:30 I text her again..
me- I owe you a beer unless you handed out free beers to every guy who approached you
So far the texting ratio is decidedly not in your favor. You’ve sent three texts to her one text. Look up at the Jumbotron. Are you proud of your works, Oxymandias?
a day later
her- “haha so they all owe me beer”
She texted you A DAY LATER. This dynamic should be the other way around.
How should I attack this?
Lost cause. You’ve shown her nothing of worth except “nice eyes”, and that plus a buck will get you a cheap coffee and an afternoon fap. You want my sincere advice how to attack this? Go nuclear. Text back:
Just like that. No punctuation, no nothing. Only The Asshole Force can save you now.
I feel like I had the upper hand
You never had the upper hand. Do you think a girl’s compliments mean anything? Attention whores toss out glib flattery like candy in order to stoke the chase in their suitors. Girls don’t mean it when they say shit like “nice eyes” in the way that men mean it when they say the same to women. The only evidence that a girl means anything noteworthy is her parting vagina welcoming your Mosaic staff.
but I didn’t move to another venue and now somehow the power dynamic has switched?
Your critical error was your lack of leaving any sort of impression on her. A venue change may have helped, but only in the sense that it would have prolonged the window of opportunity for you to salvage this mess.
While with her I ran into some random people I knew we talked for a while and I thought that showed I had value.
Depends what kind of random people they were. Nerds and fat chicks? Then you lowered your value. Cool cats like yer humble host CH? Value overload.
I’m a bit unsure of what route to take this.. Any help greatly appreciated. I want to smash this one.
You want to smash this one. She knows this. This is why you will not smash.
I can give you little. The lead is cold. Ice cold. Try non sequitur text game. That might do something. Otherwise, accept your momentary defeat and take the lesson to heart for the next girl you want to smash. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of them.