Feed on

Women have many shit tests and penumbras of shit tests in their hamster arsenal, but none packs a more explosive punch than the self-deprecation shit test, which is like the Tsar Bomba of shit tests. The shock wave from this big baby is enough to send an inexperienced man reeling backwards into stunned silence. Or, worse, obsequious reassurance.

A reader passes along his recent encounter with the Hamsta Bomba of shit tests,

The other day I was hitting on an asian girl (FOB, but culturally American) who is studying English in North America.  I had met her by chance the previous day at a festival and gotten a make out after the festival.

I was escalating and she gave me what I think was a “nuclear shit test” and I didn’t know how to respond.

She said: “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot.  There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”  Indeed, she is not that hot.  A solid 6 but no more.  She was implying that because I was hitting on her, I must not be able to get with the hotter girls, so I’m a loser.

I demurred, and said that “I liked her smile.”  But I did not have a witty rejoinder to her shit test.

What should I have said?

(For the record, I regularly hook up with 8s, but I was going after this 6 because I was in town for a couple days only and wanted an easy lay.  I ended up getting a BJ from her).

This question of how to deactivate the fission cascade on the self-deprecation nuclear shit test has been answered before at the Chateau. And the conclusion from that post is that your best options are to either

a. ignore her and change the subject, or

b. reframe so that she gets put into the defensive crouch.

The reframe that is most popular among the coituscenti is the classic “Have you always been this vain?” This is the black hole to the nuclear shit test, sucking the atomic life and energy right out of her beta boob bait.

Another good reply: “Oh god, you’re not that kind of girl who’s always comparing herself to other girls, are you?!”

Defensive crouches are where gina tingles are born.

The absolute worst reply you could give — and one which is the equivalent of chomping down on stinky chum and getting hooked into the boat — is to reassure her that she’s pretty. Your logical male mind thinks this is the answer she wants, but if you say it you’ll soon discover the air escaping from any sexual tension that had been building. Women interpret male reassurance as male desperation to keep the momentum moving toward sex. This is why disarming shit tests is such a valuable game skill to have; by refusing to play into her “oh no, another boring beta male” expectations, you, as a man, decrease the likelihood that she’ll concoct a reason to short-circuit the seduction process.


Comments are closed.