There is a cottage industry of anti-game, pro-feminist beta males who claimed to tried to learn the crimson arts but failed before seeing results. I suspect what happened to most of them is that they encountered some setbacks on their journey to higher quality, higher frequency poon, but instead of taking lessons from their losses they gave up and turned their frustration outward, against game and its advocates. What doomed them was a combination of defeatism, a lower than average starting suite of attractiveness traits, and unrealistic expectations of what game could accomplish for them.
Let me say, then, that I acknowledge their impotent rage. Most men who aren’t naturals will experience growing pains in their efforts to improve their game and success with women. I have seen all manner of mistakes made by recovering betas (and omegas) determined to increase their attractiveness to women. There is nothing unique or unsolvable about these common newbie game mistakes. If you are a beta starting out with game, you owe it to yourself to anticipate that you will experience the same setbacks that bedevil millions of men just like you traveling the same path of redemption. Anticipating mistakes means it will be a challenge to disappoint yourself, and your fortitude with thus be strengthened.
What follows is a list of the typical learning curve mistakes that men make while trying to become more charismatic ladykillers. I have pulled a couple of these boners myself, so don’t think there is a man alive who is immune to the occasional beta backslide once in a while.
Excitable Boy Syndrome
You’re pumped up for the night. Your face is flushed, your body is wired and your smile is a mile wide. You knocked out a three set of bicep curls just before hitting the clubs. You’re an approach machine. Look at you go! You’re so high on life and the possibilities of your newfound game knowledge that you forgot to remember chicks dig a man with state control. Chicks most definitely do not dig a hyperactive spaz. Don’t worry, soldier of seduction. The world is not going to run out of women tonight.
Overeager Reaction To Her Crumbs Of Interest
Your game has evolved to the point where you’re starting to get positive reactions from women. She touches your arm or pays you a genuine compliment or strokes her hair and beams ear to ear after you teased her. Pleasantly surprised and brimming with the sort of runaway horniness that has been fooled is on the cusp of being relieved, you respond with overeager gratitude, flattery and excessively loud laughter. Her brief window of kindness and flirty interest has opened your beta floodgates. You forget everything you learned and revert to the watery-eyed supplication of your puppy crushing preteen self. You push too hard for a romantic resolution, and you become outcome dependent. You know that old saying “Act like you’ve been there before”? Take it to heart. Chicks really do prefer men who don’t get too excited by female attention. Mystery called this attitude “active disinterest”, and that’s as good a description as any.
Fumble In The Red Zone
Your game has been smooth as silk. She’s standing with you on the sidewalk, a few kisses have transpired, and now you’re faced with the very real prospect that she’s ready to go home with you tonight. But the realization of this — the prospect that you may achieve your goal — freezes you. Instead of leading her to her exquisite doom with unstoppable confidence, you mumble something about maybe, possibly, seeing some band next week that you heard was good, your hands stuffed deep in your pockets. Her face slackens into disappointment. Your reward? A cavalcade of unanswered text messages and grotesque ponderings asking yourself “where did it all go wrong?”.
Overplayed Hand Syndrome
Wow! She really lit up when you dropped that neg! And look how she reacts so well to your cocky teasing. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. Game works!, you say to yourself. So more game must work more!, you answer in reply to yourself. You start dropping C&F on her like it’s going out of style. Slowly, or maybe not so slowly, you notice she’s not laughing as much, not opening her body to you, and not tilting her head to expose her vulnerable neck to you. She’s turtling fast, and now she’s glancing around the room. You captured her interest, and she wanted you to follow up with a deeper connection. An emotional bonding that would have added dimensions to your personality. But you responded with more of the same happy-go-lucky douchery. Game is not a hammer; it’s a scalpel. Use it as such.
Say Anything Stupid Syndrome
Every man fears it: getting stuck with nothing to say. This fear issues from a place of pedestalization. “If I don’t say something witty right now to break this awkward silence, I will lose her.” So in his beta haste he overcompensates by spitting out a jumble of small talk at best, and vibe-killing self-deprecation at worst. When you have nothing to say, the best response is to… say nothing. Let silence be your ally. 90% of the time, a woman confronted with a man’s silence will restart the conversation herself. Once she does that, the seduction script is flipped, and she becomes the chaser, uncontrollably instilling you with higher value. Women who don’t restart the conversation are not invested enough in you, and you may take that as a signal to move on.
Easy Discouragement Syndrome
You’ve arrived. You haven’t started talking to any girls yet. A cute girl sits near you with her friend. You suck in air deep, preparing to deliver your opener. As you turn to face them, you notice across the room a very good-looking guy juggling the interest of three adoring women. Discouraged, you hold your tongue and nurse your drink, alone, for the next three hours. You mumble something about game not working because you can never compete with men like that. Self-satisfied that your failures are thus justified and irredeemable, you slink home while a man who looks about like you do begins making out with a girl at a different bar in the city tonight. I hope I don’t have to spell out the moral of this story.
Stubborn Refusal To Adapt Spergitude
You’ve just dropped an inspired DHV routine on her. But for some inexplicable reason, she hasn’t responded the way you thought she would. The way so many others did. Boredom snakes across her face. You get flustered. “What do I do now??” Instead of changing course to something that might prove more fruitfully engaging for her, you continue blasting at her bunker with permutations of your nigh-invulnerable DHV story, hoping that some new way of saying this or that sentence will be the key to her heart. As an aspie beta nerd with stubborn mule tendencies, you are a victim of your emotional straitjacketing. Learn to adapt in the field by trying new things on the fly. Don’t be afraid to abandon a conversational trail that has gone stale. I’ve seen it so many times — men who stubbornly fix to a line of thought when the girl is moving the conversation in a new direction. The best seducers are masters of opportunistic conversational hijacking, and will lead and follow a girl’s train of thought simultaneously.
Apologia The Destroya
Incoming shit test! Thankfully, with your encyclopedic game knowledge, you know how to disarm it. But wait… she didn’t get that faux shocked, slightly horny look on her face when you slapped down her attempt to belittle you. No, she’s didn’t take your reply well. Another shit test, a nastier one, flies your way. Your brain starts filling up with self-doubt and second-guessing, and instead of nimbly swiping her second shit test aside, you begin apologizing — in so many words — for your impudence. Ughh. Game over, man! You let your wimpy, trembling beta id out for a stroll in the daylight. She took one look at the poor benighted creature and her fangs and claws were bared for the kill. Expect that you will occasionally have to deal with nasty bitches with zero tolerance for weakness in men. It comes with the territory. Knowing this, you will be better prepared to avoid getting entrapped by a woman’s betatization program.
Easy discouragement is probably the number one killer of prospective players out there.
Krauser calls it the Approach Weasel. Always finding excuses to discourage yourself.
Oh, it’s a mixed set
or she is sitting down
or she looks busy
or she looks blah blah blah
I won’t even lie, I still get these every now and then, especially on not-so-amped-up nights.
best advice- Fuck it. Make a move. There isn’t some spotlight on you, and nobody in the entire bar is going to notice if you fuck up, so get of your ass because she probably wants to talk to you anyway
It’s funny how many of those “tough looking sets” go really well when you just say “fuck it” and go open. I kinda sit back and laugh at how seriously I used to think that stuff would play out. It’s rarely as bad as I used to make it out in my head and even when they do it’s easy to laugh off.
That’s the best advice possible you can possibly give, saying “fuck it…” to yourself and moving in.
I remember that concept. It was Krauser’s fellow traveller Bhodisatta who coined the term: “Avoidance Weasel”. Here’s an excerpt (go read the rest).
“As you rest, he plots. In every day and in every way he is there in the shadows. Imagine trying to run a marathon, and every single step of the way someone is beside you, their face inches from yours, pouring poison into your ear “Go on mate. You’ve done enough already. You’ve given it a fair crack. Just take a little break. You won’t last at this pace. You’ll burn out. STOP! What are you doing? You’re going to injure yourself. Come on.. see sense. I’m only trying to help you. Just stop for a few minutes”. Imagine that you’re a smoker and you have to stop smoking but you have to smoke one single cigarette every other day. This is akin to the level of power Avoidance Weasel has.”
Link:
http://mygreatexperiment.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/fifty-sets-of-challenge/
In my experience, responding with anger and nursing backwards bitterness after being blown out was a problem for me when I started out.
Only constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone in social situations really changed the whole paradigm. Instead of the girl being a bitch for not immediately wanting to fuck, its a girl that is understandably intimidated by a confident man.
Alexander from RSD wrote a kick ass article about that recently.
Link to RSD article? It’s bad form to mention a good article but to leave your audience hanging.
I think he refers to this article:
alexattitude.com/archives/628
Basicly about how the girls are intimidated by you when you approach them and how you shouldn’t misinterpret that as them not liking you. (~02:50-03:15)
100%.
If you’re an avg+ looking guy, dressed well and approach confidently, some women will be intimidated and it’s easy to percieve this intimidated reaction as negative. I had some challenges with this.
But after busting through it I’ve found you can soften your attraction routine (after the opener) with voice tone and a slight step back- a light IOD in a sense.
A guy responding with anger is used by girls, as backwards-rationalisation about why they’re horrible towards those same men they didn’t plan on dating anyway.
E.g. “If you weren’t so angry, I’d have totally dated you, I just didn’t have the time when you asked me previously”…
Alpha has cop fuck buddy
Fuck buddy reappears years later and kills his wife in jealousy
“Within a year of their meeting, Ruetten said, he and Rasmussen were engaged.
A few weeks later, Ruetten said he received a phone call from Lazarus, who was crying and asking him to come to her apartment. He did so and said he found her distraught over his decision to marry another woman, which struck him as odd since he had not spoken with Lazarus for more than a year and believed they were “friends, just friends.
Ruetten said he had no more contact with Lazarus and went on to marry Rasmussen in late 1985. He recounted returning home from work on Feb. 24, 1986, three months after the wedding, to find his wife’s body on the living room floor of their Van Nuys town house. She had been shot three times at close range in the chest and beaten badly.”
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-0216-lapd-trial-20120215,0,521843.story
File under: Keep strings short.
don’t string your #2 (or 3, 4, etc) along for a long time. Iit can lead to unnecessary emotional attachment.
I had the opposite problem. I met someone, and I didn’t find anyone better for so long I just sort of ended up in a LTR.
I’ve gotten 2 girlfriends in the past 6 months due to CH. Both of them lasted about a a month or two. I noticed I completely dropped my game once I got a girl, I just saw it as a tool to seduce a girl, not keep her. I went from cocky asshole to the sickening cuddly beta slowly as I began to feel their warmth. I noticed the second I got a girl, I gave up my ‘alpha act’ because I had ‘won’. Or so I had thought.
CH had the reverse effect on me. I’m chasing less because now I have a rock solid LTR game, and I enjoy the submission that it instills in my girls.
Keep reading, there is no better way than the chateau to become an insubmersible ladykiller.
Do you find that the approach is different between potential LTR candidates, and same day bang candidates? Or is the former just the latter with more effort put in after the fact?
The playful neg, frame control, reject/refuse/ridicule, occasionally being unavailable – I use them regularly to keep my current relationship piquant, it works wonders I have to say.
I’ve had a few gf’s after reading through the CH archives as well as the mystery book – the tips (esp. on behavior & body language) and insight into the workings of the female attraction have improved my inner game tenfold, in fact I’d go as far as to say life changing.
However, thus far I’ve never tried running any of the PUA stuff like opening sets, running routines, false time constraints and all of that. I see that as the next belt up & for now it’s all wax on wax off shaped.
Same here (two month relationship), but I got oneitis and won her back by not initiating contact for two weeks, then dumped her. It was…painful, but worth it. Never let your guard down. Fixing my inner game now that oneitis unmasked my weaknesses.
Best way to avoid oneitis is to have another girl on the side. Also advice from CH (Poon Commandment VII). It helped me when I started seeing a 22-year-old hot girl and I got oneitis quickly. She smelled it and fled, but luckily I had something on the side to tie me over. This helped me recover much more quickly and didn’t affect my game too much.
I guess my question is: when do I cut the girls loose? Obviously if they start becoming serious, say I love you, etc., and you’re not into her, you let her go. My one girl on the side, however, is very cool, only wants to see me max. two days a week, doesn’t become all lubby dubby, and has her own thing going on. She has started calling me “babe” though, which is concerning.
I remember listening to Brad P.’s CD, and he said that as long as the girl is not making the moves to becoming your girlfriend (by saying I love you, planning on moving in, wanting to see you everynight, etc.), you can keep the fling going indefinitely until she says that the gig’s up (or you want to end it for whatever reason).
I wonder if Heartiste would mind expanding upon Poon Commandment VII, i.e., how long should you keep the girl on the side around, etc.
when a chick loves you, she’s ripe for MLTR or bootycallisms. You cut back on the date-dates and other stuff, never give an inch on being a mushy moo. If she gets needy, say I don’t think we’re a romantic match. It seems that as long as you don’t accept the bf/gf roles, then you don’t get caught up in being monogamous. Obviously, this behavior is easier if you don’t really see her as the one. But if you fall in love, hey, that’s a different path.
Ugh, yes it is very easy to do.
I remember the contrast of the eyes of worship she bats at you when you were alpha compared to her cold disgust when you crumble.
It’s like sex with a woman. She doesn’t make you work for it, you take her pussy for granted and go and find another one without any emotional twinges.
You give her nice LTR feelings too much too soon she goes running off to get some gina tingles from a bad boy.
I’m not trying to patronize, but what I read is that your game has improved significantly from your previous 6 months- but your next challenge is in the context of “harem management” for lack of a better term. Or rotation management or whatever.
I’ve been there. Once I climbed a few rungs and started getting frequent sex with women I was really attracted to, some complacency set in and I let the sex “beta” me out. It also killed my game development and game with other new opportunities because this “one” chic took up too much bandwidth.
Essentially you’re expereiencing an advanced form of ONEitis and haven’t properly “trained” your rotation partners. This is key as you develop larger harems and manage the expectations. It’s important to establish a “random, scarce and intermittent” communication pattern from the onset. Eventually when the sexual line is crossed you’ll have choices to make between giving up more of your free time to continue the relationship or risk losing the account for other new opportunities.
I coach my students to make sure not to communicate too much with their targets- especially after sex. If you do you risk her clinging on, going nuts on you, or you can also beta out and blow the opp.
Yeah, you’re right. I literally have NO motivation to go out and get laid if I already am. I just see it as, I can just call this girl up and fuck, why do I have to go work at it? Again, I think it’s just my mindset of seeing game as a tool instead of a lifestyle, or whatever it is. And Maya…stop trolling.
What?! I’m not trolling btw. I really believe in what I write, seriously. I don’t know what part of my comment seems like trolling to you … I really believe that when you love someone you probably prefer that he or she cares about you as well (=behaves like a cuddly beta). Also, I believe that when you love someone, you don’t mind about his or her flaws (in case they are not too big, but that’s something you should find out before getting involved with anyone).
So I really see no purpose in playing games with people you love. I think you should listen to your heart and be a cuddly beta if that’s how you feel.
“Bandwidth” is a great way to put it.
Rex,
“I went from cocky asshole to the sickening cuddly beta slowly as I began to feel their warmth. I noticed the second I got a girl, I gave up my ‘alpha act’ because I had ‘won’. Or so I had thought.”
But that’s okay. When you find the right girl, she will love you the way you are. You can be a “sickening cuddly beta”. I think it’s cute.
Maya’s always around to keep us on the straight and narrow when we go off on our tangents.
Maya is around to play with her orifice when CH foolishly responds to her trolling.
…
…
…
Much as Uh starts to salivate whenever I post.
Sick :S
“Stubborn Refusal To Adapt Spergitude”
Flowing naturally with the direction of a conversation is one of the hardest things imo. I plan out conversations in my head before I have them and, I realized that fellow spergies do it too. We take things literally and are completely deaf to the underlying tone and actual message of what’s being said, but understand the words fine. Subtleties kill me.
Flowing with the convo comes with practice. It’s definitely something you can learn to do. At one time I tried to have conversations planned out in advance, but that’s impossible and more than a bit spergy.
What’s not spergy but strategic is to have a number of ‘volleys’ that you can use. You can’t plan an entire conversation, but you can expect to receive some similar responses to a given question or tactic. Being prepared to answer a repetitive response, that’s just plain smart. And easy. Again, just practice.
Also, congruence really matters. I’ve found you can say about anything if you say it with confident, direct eye contact, and a playful smirk, er, smile.
Agreed.
Conversation is a skill set, it can be learned and mastered.
Ya gotta do it, and keep doing it, and so forth.
In other news, black guy states that he was taught by other black guys that losing to white players was the worst, and that basketball is supposed to be a black-dominated thing, and beating whitey was required for racia pride:
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7579418/there-goes-neighborhood-#8212-floyd-mayweather-tweet-williams-sisters-jeremy-lin
Over/under on whether any major news source will ever call him a mega-racist and castigate him for this?
Never. Blacks get a free pass.
in other news, Bill Simmons is a a crap writer, a faggedy-ass Obama-supporter, and lost a football pool to his wife, The Sports Whore.
Increasingly, no one gives a shit about being called racist, since pretty much any behavior will earn a white person that sobriquet.
Like any currency that is too frequently minted, racism accusations have lost their value.
Well, let’s be honest… that bakket ball be their ultimate arena… getting beat by YT would indeed be an in-yo’-face-disgrace to the race.
Ever notice how stereotypes are okay when they favor the ubiquitous 800 pound gorilla in the room?
“There is a cottage industry of anti-game, pro-feminist beta males who claimed to tried to learn the crimson arts but failed before seeing results.”
Not all of us are pro feminist. Some of us are omegas who despise women, betas and alphas alike.
“Pro-feminist” beta males are simply those who believe the pretty lies for far too long.
After enough times holding the bag or cleaning up her mess, they either sack-up or deny women the opportunity to ask them for favours that won’t be reciprocated.
“Not all of us are pro feminist. Some of us are omegas who despise women, betas and alphas alike.”
Yes, but we don’t concern ourselves with you and your type, for you soon remove yourselves from the gene pool. And life goes on.
“[D]espise”? In what way are y o u better??
Explain.
Excellent post.
Voice of experience, man. Most of these dredged up some painful fucking memories ha ha ha
I learned pretty early on that the best way to approach a “date” is to go into it in “date” mode. This means essentially having the male equivalent of “bitch” shields locked and ready to go. Be prepared for shit tests and know they are going to come out at some point.
Being hyper aware of shit tests makes it incredibly easy to deflect them without much effort. I also find it enjoyable to be on the lookout for shit tests and strike appropriately when they do come up. It’s a lot like stealing a pass in basketball that you “saw” before the pass was thrown.
Another common one for me flows out of “Over-played Hand Syndrome”—, “Gamus Interuptus” knowing when to pull-out is vital. I have learned that whether it’s “overgaming” or just lack of interest on her part, learning when to cut it short is vital. The turnaround, the sudden walkaway take practicce.
There is a tendancy to “over-game”. Alternately, if for whatever reason you lose your nerve, draw a blank or are overcome with the feeling you can’t get through, it’s time to walk away.
The other consideration and I still don’t know what the answer to this is, I’ve been gaming a girl in my social circle for a year. She’s always giving IOI’s, we’ve gone out.
When I had a gf, she was much more keen. Now she’s still giving IOI’s but has been a bit cool.
There are times when disappearing or pulling back for a while can be beneficial.
Another common mistake: failing to recognize and pass shit-tests.
Guilty of:
– Excitable Boy Syndrome (not anymore – learned not to give a fuck)
– Overeager Reaction To Her Crumbs Of Interest – So. Very. Much.
– Overplayed Hand Syndrome – makes you look really immature
– Say Anything Stupid Syndrome – thanks for giving me the solution to this dilemma. Not being able to STFU seems to be an issue with me.
– Apologia The Destroya – I’m not yet accustomed to spotting them early
I started all of this about three months ago.
I tried a few things and immediatley got the predicted result.
As I stopped using those newly discovered tools, the girls were back to “normal”.
Start again – they react again.
That was the moment I realized that game was real.
No more denying it.
Also the main reason why I don’t understand Easy Discouragement Syndrome.
I really, really don’t get it.
Technique-heavy game, in the learning phase, I reckoned, requires focus and attention.
Not the thing I’m good at.
I presumed, to let it all come naturally and have a better start at learning techniques, I should start with building inner game.
Active socializing, going to the gym, standing up for yourself(!), etc.
The only “technique” I learned actively and use consiously is negging.
Result so far:
Not a desperate, nerdy virgin anymore.
Two girls chasing me.
They’re LSE-HD, though.
As predicted for beginners.
I reckon that better game leads, again as predicted, to HSE girls.
To get there requires to embrace pain and hard work for once and actually learn to be subtly attentive.
I’m still all “what the fuck is going on” because of the precise predictions.
Thanks CH. I just starting to learn this stuff and I kinda needed to read this. Love your blog and keep doing your thing.
I think I inadvertently gamed my ex-girlfriend who I’ve been trying to forget for the past 4 months.
The night before Valentine’s Day she called me out of the blue after I had been maintaining indifference and light contact with her. Asked me out to dinner and drinks and paid for everything. Soon enough we’re back at her place engaged in some very rough sex. The whole time she was gasping “Why didn’t you love me? Admit that you loved me!” I came out of it with a black eye and a gouged lip.
While this was going down, her new boyfriend that she left me for was texting her “Happy Valentine’s Day!” messages. The next morning, laying there naked and bruised in her bed, she claims to feel guilty and makes me promise not to tell anybody. What the fuck.
I left her place feeling simultaneously like an adulterous Alpha and a used and abused Beta. Haven’t heard from her since. Anybody have any insight?
Chrysler. Diagnosis: A psycho bitch who may be incapable of feeling truly loved. Daddy issues, most likely. Be glad you’re done with her. Take satisfaction in the fact that your game has improved to the point that she pursued you, to the point of final culmination.
Hold that alpha frame. You earned it. Ditch the ‘used and abused’ beta frame. Consider your battle scars the price of knowledge and the result of not sitting on your ass. Then: onward. Higher, further, faster.
Shake your head. Laugh. Write it all off to lessons learned. Find a new woman.
She is damaged goods best left back at the store.
The link that Heartiste self references basically amounts to this. You can expect that if you diligently learn game as a non natural late to it, and try, try again, you’ll go up one sex rank.
More than that is possible but unlikely. No improvement will likely occur if you fall into the traps above.
@ anonymous^
One day we will beg you for mercy
So much truth in this article
Every beta should read this post until it sinks into his blood.
I’m good looking and don’t even have to use game to seduce women, they come to me (within reason). But I have a serious case of “fumble in the red zone” and I wish this blog would discuss this sometimes. I freeze up and actually start to dread having to perform. Even if I try to “get over it” and go through with it, it’s a disaster, it just doesn’t work and leaves everyone embarrassed. I have extreme performance anxiety and don’t know how to get over it. Even viagra doesn’t really help. When I imagine girls liking me by myself and while making out with them, I get hard, but then when the time comes there’s nothing I can do about it. This is true most often with one-night stands.
That’s common, bro.
I had a fucked up few years before I finally lost my virginity in my early twenties, as I had horrible, crippling performance anxiety. When I finally got the green light at the entrance of a new pussy to try again, I went soft. The next day the sky matched my mood precisely – it was the darkest heaviest rain and cloud cover in recorded history in my area – all cars had to pull over and in the middle of the day it was as dark as any night.
It took a while for that girl to fix my dick. She just let me try and try again. Eventually she’d get pissed off at me for being “too damn virile” and not stopping fucking after many orgasms.
Just find some patient girl who turns you on. That’s a key part. What started my whole problem to begin with was trying to lose my virginity to a butch little girl who didn’t turn me on, and not knowing that vaginal juices or a bit of hand spit are required to ease entry. I’d thought I just wasn’t hard enough – and that set off a chain reaction of fear about my boner. Self fulfilling fear.
There will come a time when that fear won’t happen again – if you don’t get hard you won’t even sweat it. You’ll just take a rest, and let the girl freak out – it won’t even trouble you. Your junk works fine. Soon enough you’ll get more familiar with that. Some good hearted chick will fuck you right.
You’re getting old and you’re probably jerking off too much. Both of those variables don’t help. Lay off wanking for a while so you can build up the urges to untenable levels.
Also, there is really no other way to get over this type of anxiety then to just try as hard as you can to not think about it. You have to get to a point where your urge to fuck eclipses your anxiety and this can only really happen by trying not to think about it and also building up your sexual desire to a large excess. So chill with the porn and jerking
Also, you have to lay off the alcohol….it’s a total boner killer.
Stop masturbating for two weeks… John Thomas, the Bald Avenger, will get a mind of his own at that point and block out your other brain’s anxieties.
Stop caring about what the lady will think… just focus on her luscious flesh like its there just for the use… YOUR use… she’s merely your concubine.
At first, only go for the girls whose looks really his your type… e.g., if a buxom blonde is what puts the hook in you, don’t try to bang a Sandra Bullock type, merely because she’s available.
Once you master that frame of mind, you can widen your field of vision and score with other physical types.
Check out the hottie/poor pathetic ugly rich beta relationship:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/328168/intervention-erin#s-p1-so-i0
She openly cheats on him and uses him for money, all the while blaming him for her cheating on him and her drug use.
He’s starting to show glimmers of manhood—rage at being cheated on, etc.—but can’t leave her. He states he would have left her (“and never remembered her name”) if she hadn’t gotten pregnant by him (I wonder if he checked the DNA; probably not).
Love the part when, even getting sober, she claims that they’re not involved in “their issues” anymore. As if he caused any. And he buys her a vacation home to celebrate! Beta to the Max!
The major problem with her “sobriety” is that she is still a good-looking girl, at 26, even with all the wear-and-tear, pump-and-dumps she has had and probably continues to have. Her hotness allowed her to forget her molestation (yeah, I’m guessing that happened, although it’s never mentioned, probably by her Dad, who abandoned her as teenager) in the arms of multiple men and meth. It let’s her get away with a lot—get’s free drugs and free attention and a supplicant beta husband willing to be a doormat/ATM.
So I predict a healthy relapse, and, finally, he’ll sack up and get rid of her. Then she’ll be on the wrong side of 30 with no more sugar daddy. She’ll be some street walker or low-rent escort and o.d in the gutter.
So sad, guys. This is what happens when you don’t have game.
Ya, that nice neat retributive ending you scripted in isn’t how reality usually writes the script.
She’ll keep a keen eye on her expiration date, and switch tactics in time to land a husband. Who she will later divorce rape.
This.
That’s what happens when you think she’s “the only One”.
Always spewing out great content CH. Keep up the good work. You ARE changing men around the world. Don’t forget it.
Great stuff. I just wrote on how easy it is to talk yourself out of approaching. For Chrissakes, just do it!
http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2012/02/16/beating-approach-anxiety/
I do like Roosh’s “just pretend you’ve already been rejected” frame. It really makes every success exceed expectations.
This was a very insightful post. There are a lot of good points to mull over. I thank you for it!
“Fumble In The Red Zone”
I’ve found that when a woman communicates she’s ready to give herself to you, there’s a bit of a shit test under there. She’s testing to see if you become giddy as a guy who’s never been laid. It’s the reverse of rejecting you to see if you still push – accepting you and seeing if you will lead instead of following her lead. It’s all about keeping the frame that she has to earn it. Also a bad idea to think you’ve got it in the bag, it ain’t over till the little kitty sings.
Maybe that’s why juggling several women is a good strategy. You don’t get as worked up about potential sex because, worst case scenario, you can call it in from a more reliable source at the end of the night. Thus the hidden shit test never activates.
If you have a willing platonic female friend, have her help you out. It can really help if you’re losing, or have lost hand with one or more women you’re pursuing.
For example I have a girl friend i’ve been close with for years, and i had her write on my facebook wall “Great seeing you last night
”. The girl i’m gaming sees it and BOOM. She starts complying more, being more engaged/responsive.
It’s such a multi-layered DHV. There’s the mystery about the extent of your relationship with your platonic friend, the actual meaning of the post, the fact that girls see it coming from a third party source…not YOU.
The great part, is that by recruiting the platonic girl to help me with another girl, she ALSO feels a tinge of jealously and becomes more interested and compliant with me. Therefore i’m not imposing on her, and it doesnt look weak (if you can artfully request it). My lack of interest in the platonic friend is built into the request, negating any real risk on my part.
Its always been a win win move of mine and i use it alot… to stoke the dying embers of interest, so to speak. .
Relatedly, “non-sequiter texting” is a topic covered in a post at the cheteau, that I have tested.. and it is gold. Also verified that using it more than once is ineffective.
I’m all for trickery.
Don’t wind up an Excitable Boy. Warren Zevon warned us!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/16/male-speech-patterns-female-fertility_n_1282171.html?ref=women
“The researchers found that when the women were the most fertile, the men they were speaking to were less likely mimic the women’s sentence structure — 49.7 percent of the time vs. 62 percent of the time when the women were least fertile, The Conversation reported. When conducting a similar experiment on women (though this time only using 47 college-aged subjects), no such noteworthy changes in linguistic matching were found.”
Very interesting…so this is basically subconscious game then?
The number one rule that any aspiring alpha must learn is to simply not care what the girl thinks or doesn’t think about you. Nothing spins the attraction hamster wheel faster than an aloof man. Despite all the windbagery to the contrary, women hate it when men hold them in too high of a regard. Once you remove outcome dependent mindsets from the Game, you are ready to join the Big Leagues.
I would add a common mistake to relationship game, at least what happened to me, was going too aggressive at first, in an angry kind of way. This is no doubt related to the fact that I was way too submissive originally, and was literally getting bullied in some ways by my live-in long term girlfriend. So when I first started trying to be more alpha and stand up to her, I was doing a little too much yelling. Not even that much, but rather than come off as an alpha and in charge, it was so uncharacteristic of me that it just came off as being angry and lashing out. But it is important to be capable of yelling and not always submissively being pushed around.
I winced as I read through this one. Sometimes I think I’ve finally reached that point where I’ve mastered game and then I inevitably slip back into my old ways. It happens less and less but it can be discouraging to say the least. Only answer is to press on..
I’ve found that details of the approach often determine whether the ho of interest relegates one to betadom.
For example…
– looking at a girl, walking directly over, saying hi… BETA
– slowly making your way in a girl’s direction, at a casual pace, with occasional stops, acting nonchalant … semi-alpha
– staying in one spot, making occasional eye contact, girl nonchalantly works her way into your vicinity… ALPHA
“- looking at a girl, walking directly over, saying hi”
This is far from beta.
In fact what betas do is what your “ALPHA” does, except the girl doesn’t come over to him.
The aspie is strong in this
ROFL @ Mukluk and darkpenguin350 thinking that reading a game blog from their Mom’s basement makes them alpha.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
…very strong.
Good post. I’m guilty of all of these, to some degree or another. Definitely good learning experiences.
There are literally MILLIONS of single women thus chances. What worked for me was to understand that and go “relentless”. Just blast it out there devil may care to the multitudes or the quality of what you bring.
The result, for me, was do completly desensitize me to rejection thus allowing me to then settle into a truly “I dont give a fuck” permanent mind set.
The next thing was to learn to “bag up”. Bag what I could then put it in a stable then gradually improve the quality of the ponies in the barn. For every new and better one I put in a worse one got shown the door.
The trick is never stop the talent search but keep some stink on your junk.
Getting laid is a virtuous cycle. Several good things happen on your next interactions: you feel less approach anxiety, less apprehension in the “red zone”, less results-orientation. It’s incremental, though. Getting laid once won’t make you James Bond. Once you get a good rhythm going in terms of getting laid, though, you will basically be bullet-proof and immune to rejection.
I used to crush a lot of puppies. When I bring that up with girls it’s like things go from bad to worse. Am I overgaming?
If you don’t have a sack full of hilarious stories about how spectacularly and brutally various chicks have shot you down you’re doing it wrong.
20th level has a point.
I never go out and open sets to just open sets. I go out to cause trouble. A lot of the time to me a set just isn’t worth opening, but is certainly worth engaging in a conversation in.
The one I find myself slipping with is being very outcome dependent. I was replaying a set I opened last night and I realized there were a lot of “not losing” thoughts in my conversation, and very little actual winning being done. Just something to look at, if you are there for any reason but to be in the moment that reason should be to find a way back into the moment.
Outcome dependency is the anathema of victory.