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Every Man Deserves

Chuck Rudd over at GLPiggy has a funny post about a chick elaborating the kind of man every woman deserves. Needless to say, it’s the very Moloko Plus of female self-absorption. (What’re you offering in return, sweet cheeks? An ass the size of a barn door?) A commenter wonders where the equivalent “Every man deserves…” post is. Wonder no more!

Every man, no matter his station in life, his character, his personality or his hygiene, deserves a woman who calls him the rod of steely justice, gobbles his knob like she means it, fucks him like she never wants to let him get soft, doesn’t attention whore or bitch about making him a sammich, wipes his load when he jizzes, doesn’t make him lose interest by getting fat, instead gets in even better shape so he won’t have to keep checking out other women, is not scared to let her friends know she won’t be gossiping about him, and lets him know how much she really loves him with the only thing that matters — her welcoming orifices. Repost if you agree.

You laugh. But this kind of entitlement is par for the course on feminist blogs. Helpful tip to feminists and the modern Western woman: deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.

62 Responses to “Every Man Deserves”

  1. I am going to post this on facebook. Yours is better than what I was going to put.

  2. Nyk says:

    “wipes his load when he jizzes”

    You forgot an important specificiication “using her tongue”

    zlzlozllzzol

  3. Deacon Blues says:

    Amen brother! Truer words were never spoken…awesome homage to Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven.

  4. Dude says:

    Can’t believe you pulled out a “deserve’s god nothin’ to do with it.” Points.

  5. Uncle Elmer says:

    A man deserves a woman, not a Co-Worker.

  6. The Shocker says:

    Got linked to the jezebel blog for the first time- now I understand the feminist frame CH has been hammering. The link is surprisingly relevant:

    http://jezebel.com/5875217/he-wants-to-jizz-on-your-face-but-not-why-youd-think/

    What kind of woman does a man want? A woman who won’t ruin the fucking grand finale by psychoanalyzing if we’re doing it because it’s dirty or we ‘need acceptance.’

    There’s really only one kind of woman I can’t stand- the shrew who harps and nitpicks at every little thing.

    A girl doesn’t lovingly have to take a load to the face every single time. Sometimes its fun to try and tag girls who say they dont want it there- a game both can play. Other times, when the mood is bangin and you’re both crazy fucktoy animals.. yes, swallow every drop, let me pump point blanc against your forehead, reach two fingers between your legs and let me watch you suck em dry.

    Dont reduce power/dominance/male chi to a suckling desire for acceptance. We dont want acceptance, we want raw do-anything ROMANTIC desire.

    Those women could have it too, from the clueless clawing husbands and boyfriends they boss around all day. Instead.. shrewness.. smallness.. a complete lack of imagination. Unhappiness.

    Point to one relationship with a roaring sex life where the woman owns the man.

    I’d LOVE to sit back and let the girl lead me to marathon nirvana. They do not know how to do it.

    Let’s face it- for normal, uninhibited girls how much she will let you do is a barometer for how much she likes you. She will do those things for a sufficiently high status man- that’s what is between the lines when feminists say men ‘seek acceptance.’ FUCK YES we want to be that man. And if you’re constitutionally incapable of being the canvas for our alpha expression.. your loss. Oh, and if your girlfriend suddenly doesn’t feel like doing all those wild things you used to.. fix it or end it.

  7. lozozlzzol sometimes a cigar is just a cigar so when a chick knocks your cock off knocks your lotsa cockas outta your mouth lzozzolzolzol

  8. Thor says:

    Heartiste:”You laugh. But this kind of entitlement is par for the course on feminist blogs. Helpful tip to feminists and the modern Western woman: deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.”

    Hah! Entitlement indeed. But this is pervasive and the term is not
    exclusive to women. Lots of ads tell you that you “deserve”
    this that or the other. Or that you are “entitled” to it.

    And as per Devlin, TV-watchers (both genders) see a parade of
    members of the opposite sex who on average are fantastically
    good-looking. This is the norm to which everybody aspires,
    a significant other with moviestar looks. They are everywhere
    (on TV and in movies).

    The difference is, men very quickly get disabused of this notion,
    nasty old reality imposes itself. Women, OTOH, can get to have sex
    with men that outrank them by a lot in terms of percentiles (never mind
    the 1-10 scale, percentiles are nice because you can apply them
    to both men and women).

    So a lot of women get this entitlement view reinforced, at
    least up to a point. But then comes the “commit” phase,
    and here comes trouble. Why would a man at the 95th
    percentile commit to a women at the 60th? If he commits
    at all, it will be with a woman at a similar percentile.

    Hence all the complaints about how men are unwilling
    to commit. Despite Heartiste’s campaigns about commitment,
    a woman has a god shot at getting commitment, but
    ONLY if she hangs with a man at a similar percentile,
    instead of insisting on batting out or her league and
    getting pumped and dumped – repeatedly.

    Of course, the reality is more complicated, mainly
    tastes vary (and not just about visual appearance),
    so the percentiles are to some extent in the eyes
    of the beholder. But the principle holds up.

    Thor

    • Matt says:

      What women don’t understand is sure, most high status alpha men will be willing to deposit his load in a woman of significantly lower status than him is he is horny and having an off night at the bar (think a 9-10 man taking a flier on a 5-6-7 woman to drain his balls). Women of that status experience this, and combined with the feminist and media propaganda saying they DESERVE only the best because they are perfect delicate little angels, think that they have a legit shot at LTR or marriage with a 9-10 man. THE SMP is fucked up in that way that it deludes women. They mistake a 9-10 man with the urge to drain his balls, with a genuine chance with a guy like that. And when they can’t successfully snag that guy for a LTR they bitch and moan that there are no good men around. By changing the classical SMP of 1 woman for every man, to 10 quick fucks for 1 alpha male, and 9 sexless undermales, they have created their own unhappiness. What these women don’t understand, and many seem to be disgusted by the fact is, that there a plenty of 5-6-7 men in their own league that are willing to LTR with them, but are deemed unworthy. I sincerely hope most of those women ride the cock carousel until they are 40 and utterly worthless, and live the rest of their lives miserable and alone with their cats. Unfortunately, a lot of them will find some desperate, well off 55 year old that will provide for them the rest of their lives as they get fat and wrinkled.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Or, ladies, as Tom Hanks said in Saving Ryan’s Privates: “Earn this… earn it”… ’cause most times, any more, you don’t.

  10. Largaux says:

    if you can sum up the main issues some of us men have with american women it would be irrational sense of entitlement.
    Chateau’s sentence: “What’re you offering in return, sweet cheeks? An ass the size of a barn door?” is exactly what I think. You can only expect something if you have something to offer.
    otherwise you live in “lala land”.

  11. Capsaicin says:

    Beta of the Month

    Guy holds up a sign saying he and his wife are Gator grads and it’s their one year wedding anniversary; right beside him, his wife holds up a sign saying she’d still leave him for Tebow. They clearly made the signs to go together.

    I don’t care if it’s tounge in cheek–the guy is way too complicit in his wife’s obvious lack of respect for him.

    Disgusting.

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/1201/tim.tebow.female.fans/content.3.html

  12. Guest says:

    This is going way overboard. Most men would be happy with a woman who is pleasant, stays in shape and doesn’t entertain the thought of cheating on him. Yes, all women have hypergamous instincts, but that doesn’t excuse them for acting on them. Of course, our society would be much healthier if women would be good girlfriends and good wives, even if their man is too beta for their liking. A little shaming of bad women would do a lot of good.

  13. anon #2 says:

    “Every man, no matter his station in life, his character, his personality or his hygiene, deserves a woman who calls him the rod of steely justice, gobbles his knob like she means it, etc.”

    Question – wouldn’t a man be MORE likely to get all those things if he thinks like this?

    Obviously a woman who thinks in that fashion needs to be thrown to the curb.

    But maybe that’s EXACTLY why they are applying that crap to themselves. Because they think adopting manly traits helps them, they unconsciously believe that if they take an attitude which works for men, they will gain an advantage.

    • Anon says:

      “Every man, no matter his station in life, his character, his personality or his hygiene, deserves a woman who…”

      Plenty of guys think that way. They’re the nerdy slobs who get on the interwebs to learn game to get those 10s but still remain nerdy slobs. They remain lonely, just like the fat, ugly feminists who spout the same “deservedness” bullshit.

      [heartiste: learning and applying game is a way for those nerdy slobs to become more deserving of the women they want. it also helps to get off the gamers chair and get a few rays of sunshine on the face.]

      The problem is an American culture of entitlement. Women are just better at expressing their entitlement complex. They difference is that entitled men are willing to settle, but entitled women are not. It’s a lot easier for women to believe they should hold out for better when even the fatties are getting a tidal wave of attention from American men.

      As one English guy said, “Americans are different. Americans are brought up to believe they can grow up to be the president of the United States. Brits are told, It won’t happen to you. This is why Idol was such a success. American kids came out thinking they’re going to be the next Mariah Carey, and they had the dark destroyer, Simon Cowell, saying, “Give up.” Which is good advice.”

  14. Large Hardon Collider says:

    7 comments and someone already beat me to Unforgiven.

  15. GeishaKate says:

    You must earn everything you think you deserve.

  16. senseiern says:

    Every man deserves exactly what he gets. If he wants more, he needs to demand it. When he does, he will be amazed that all it took was to be intolerant of what others are offering.

    • Matt says:

      But of course, this only applies to Men who have their heads on straight, Alphas, and at least upper betas. There are probably some lower betas & omegas that would reject Adriana Lima because her elbows are too pointy. Only demand what you can realistically achieve, and don’t settle for less than that. If you are a male 6 (based on game, looks, wealth) don’t demand a female 10, or else you are gonna be spending a whole helluva a lot of nights with your hand. Rather aim for an 8, and dont settle for anything less than a 5.5. Of course if a 10 presents herself as an opportunity to you, take it, but don’t go around demanding a 10.

      • senseiern says:

        Nah, I am learning that a man’s rating is mostly his own internal thinking. A man can look like The Penguin, but if his inner game is solid, he can pull any chick he feels he can get.

        Betas that make excuses like pointy elbows are making those excuses to justify their own inaction, due to lack of confidence that they can get her.

  17. John says:

    Obvious, but this is why I am learning game. Women deserve and beta men provide. Its this kind of crap (in the original post) that women can’t get enough of. Game has taught me the other side though…its amazing how most women will packpedal off that pedestal when you refuse to acknowledge it!

  18. Oh this has already been a fun social experiment:
    https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/qualities-of-the-prince/

    I’d encourage inquisitive Princes to create a profile of their own.

  19. nugganu says:

    My overweight ex with the bitchy attitude is getting exactly the type of man she deserves – none, and I…..love….it. She’s also getting the children she deserves – none, and I…..love….it. I simply love watching her flounder while I sleep over at my lovely thin girlfriend’s place, shag her rotten, and then get up to go pick up my daughter for lunch…..schadenfreude….my guilty pleasure.

  20. View from inside a hot chick says:

    Some good news re: feminism in the last panel.
    http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1252

  21. Caballero says:

    Every guy deserves the three “Fs”: someone to feed him, fuck him, and shut the fuck up.

  22. GeishaKate says:

    In our upgradeable society, where people switch partners as often as cell phones, it is a wonder traditional relationships can even exist. I am beginning to suspect they soon won’t. The only way is to be constantly app-lying yourself to improvement, and, by some sheer force of nature, meet someone else doing the same, thereby perpetually being- and being with- an improved version of the same product.

  23. sporto says:

    Fuccking love this post.

    “Deserve has nothing to do with it”

    Could not have been said better!!!!

  24. a girl says:

    actually, all that sounds quite reasonable.

    [heartiste: that all this is done by a hot chick is implied.]

  25. a girl says:

    i take it back. i think the hygiene part needs some negotiation.

  26. smugdealer says:

    Every man does deserve that. Just gotta ”man up” and go get what you deserve.

  27. Andy says:

    Oh my:

    • Tyrone says:

      My guess is this arrangement only works if the men are bisexual. I also believe that these polyamorous groupings are big into swinging, where everyone is bisexual and feminized. A lot of hippie commune live this way. I guess this is where the gender neutral upbringing comes in too. Gotta love that continuous revolution thing. I don’t see this ever gaining as much traction as patriarchal polygamy.

      However, two can play at this continuous revolution thing. A small group of alphas should set up their own little human breeding facility and make harem spawn in their incubators. They would have complete control over what they’re taught, etc. Human incubator breeding is probably no more than 35 years away.

      It would have huge potential. We could clone the most successful models, etc.tinker with sex drives, dispositions, etc. We could retire the women to take care of the brood once they hatch and keep a steady supply of totally hot stuff coming, like an assembly line. Margaret Atwood is choking on her cigar right now.

      I thought of this when I saw “The Island.” What would have stopped that corporation from making extra clones of their hot women clients and setting up a harem in there for the executives, The clones would be blank slates, who have no knowledge of the outside world. You could teach them all to be porn stars. You could be making young versions of now outdated actresses. Every man gets a Sharon Stone model, for instance, if he wants one. I see a SF novel coming on here.

    • Anonymous says:

      What happens when stupid people consume too much cuckold porn… pray for that kid, I beg all of you.

  28. Tyrone says:

    I deserve Halisi. I’ve been very bad.

  29. V says:

    Wipes his load when he jizzes? NO. She better swallow that shit and like it.

  30. Dispestle says:

    I deserve all that except I don’t trust her with my jizz.

    • John Norman Howard says:

      I don’t avoid the company of women, Mandrake… but I do deny them my essence.

  31. Me says:

    a link for you:

    http://sexistads.tumblr.com/post/15243372768/i-think-that-screenshot-says-a-lot-she-is-in-his

    This anti-sexism in adverts web site accidentally validates game.

  32. Firepower says:

    heartiste

    Chuck Rudd over at GLPiggy has a funny post …

    I’m not the only one
    who thinks you benevolent
    and munificent for
    promoting your socially awkward
    little brother…

  33. Anonymous says:

    Unfortunately, thanks to the decay of our morals/culture today, what we’ve defined as an attractive “Alpha” male for women has slipped from John Wayne to lowlife who’d run way from him. Being responsible and doing the right thing is subordinate “Beta” male behavior of following someone else’s rules, while anti-social behavior is attractively being dominant… sorta like marauding Huns, but people are spoiled and have forgotten why civilization is a good thing and how to maintain it. We had to feel calling anything good or bad was inappropriately “judgmental,” so we went with whatever was just arousing instead– go figure.

    • Anonymous says:

      Japan… population soon to die-out, with its territory taken over and colonized by China (with only a slight delay due to the “kamikaze” Divine Wind in their historical view).

  34. Days of Broken Arrows says:

    Another thing going around Facebook is this annoying “Miss Representation” video, which tell of all the alleged ways women are discriminated against and influence by media.

    Can you please pick this apart? It’s more female empowerment BS and needs to be responded to:

    “http://youtu.be/JFh5F8cFb3g”

    http://youtu.be/JFh5F8cFb3g

  35. Bobby C489 says:

    I made a similar style of OKcupid profile last night. Got a few nasty comments, followed by chicks basically begging me to bang them. Also sent some comments out. A semi-fat chick who could be really cute if she worked on her ass had a load of requirements. I told her she must give one hell of a blowjob.

  36. Chicks dig jerks Exhibit #624

    http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/01/13/man-tortured-beaten-beyond-recognition-by-wife-and-her-boyfriend-in-northwest-toronto-apartment/

    Even when the woman neighbour is shown the victim by the torturer, it still takes SEVERAL DAYS before the cops are called.

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