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How’s that for an omnibus blog post title?

A reader sent a link to a hilarious blog called ‘Texts From Bennett’ which is a compendium of text message conversations between some dude and his 17-year-old white cousin who, with great pride, thinks, or rather wishes, he’s part black.

I’ve been a reader for about two years now and your site has changed my life, so thanks.

I’m sure by now you have heard of Texts From Bennett. It is a blog that went viral a few weeks ago.

One of the posts shows the cousin asking Bennett why he always gets LJBF’d. The cousin is a beta who, according to Bennett, “crys wen u watch football,” and “enjoys capshuring butterflys.” So when he asks Bennett what to do, Bennett gives some apt adviceMore here.

Despite his lack of education, Bennett understands game and I have no doubt he cleans up with the dregs of Kansas City.

Let’s assume for the sake of expediency that Texts From Bennett is a warehouse of legitimate conversations by a real teenage whigger living in the crappy part of Kansas City expounding on the issues of the day, and not a clever hoax for the amusement of the blog host. (The numerous assurances by the blogger that the texts are real makes one suspicious of its authenticity, but whatevs.) Even if fake, Bennett is an iconic Millennial generation representative of the white underclass. He is funny because he strikes so many true chords: the thug-lite attitude, the exaltation of ghetto black dysfunction, the proud anti-intellectualism and its substitution with the elevation of street smarts, the defiant middle finger to the mores of the SWPL and upper classes… all lamentable customs and affectations if the survival and thriving of first world civilization is your thing.

But hidden amongst the pile of manure is a gem of a discovery. As the reader notes, Bennett has game, and he has the best kind of game: primitive natural game that knows not what it’s doing.

Here, for instance, is Bennett showing that he understands women don’t swoon for betaboy idealistic romanticism:

Who can deny the wisdom in these words? Weepy, emotionally available betas are LJBFed. Insensitively aloof alphas are sexually pleasured. And this is particularly true of women in the prime of their attractiveness and allure, that glorious window between ages 15 and 25.

Here’s Bennett on the interchangeability of women as sexual pursuits and the universal female attraction for the badboy:

Bennett is a great illustration of the sour stereotype that dumb but socially savvy men will do better with women than smart but nerdy men. No one would imagine that Bennett is acing Algebra II. But a lot of people can easily imagine him pulling more ass — and higher quality ass* — than the typical studious middle-class white boy.

*Higher quality in the context of the sexual market refers to a woman’s most valuable attributes: namely, her looks and the cut of her curves. They may be dregs by socioeconomic standards, but that won’t prevent them from stimulating wood in the most landed of gentry.

It’s been remarked here before that thugs and assorted assholes and asshole-wannabes often exhibit more natural game than smart, agreeable professionals who second-guess themselves at every turn. This is completely understandable once you come to terms with the reality of the prime motivating force behind vagina tingles: a man’s attitude. The right attitude — an insouciant mix of devil-may-care whimsy, impulsiveness, self-centeredness, vanity, cruelty and often-undeserved confidence — is the winning formula for scoring lots of hot babes. Or, if monogamy is your thing, for piquing the interest of that one hot girlfriend, to be leavened later by shows of provision and calculated vulnerability.

A hopeless fap-happy beta can’t go wrong observing the fauna of regressives like Bennett in action and heeding his crudely reductive advice. This fact of life surely disheartens a lot of you educated and sophisticated readers. A visual is drawn of some of you cursing the dbags on Jersey Shore and the hot ass they’re tagging that you aren’t.

If the country is filling up with Bennetts — and Bennetts exist in all classes — this says something about the nature and demands of women, who, after all, are the gatekeepers of sex and the primary molders of male behavior. Even if Bennett is a fantasy character devised by a mischievous imp trolling coastal reporters salivating at the thought of interviewing a white trash caricature who rationalizes their hate, a rising sea of his kind is undoubtedly swamping the US, hidden in plain sight from gated communities and invidiously creating a new norm, like dumbfuck kudzu. A culture teeming with shameless Bennetts and dotted with islands of antagonistic SWPLs and tribalistic snarkers is a doomed culture, too far gone to resuscitate. Stick a fork in it, it’s done.

On the upside, the sex lives of alphas may be experiencing its cultural zenith. And Bennett, like the “Umm, sorry?” guy, are our time’s prophets.


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