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The Fake Drink Opener

This post is also available in: German

A reader asks into the ether whether the following opening gambit is good enough to use regularly.

I saw on a buddy of mine’s facebook status a while ago “lol at girls who thought I bought them shots of vodka when it was actually water”. Apparently he “bought” some hot girls at a bar shots of water that they assumed was vodka. He said after doing the shots, they sort of half laughed and gave him the finger and he left pretty much after doing that because he had other places to go. Now I’m pretty sure this guy’s a natural (black, over 6 ft, does tango or some crap, and can probably bench press a car) so I doubt he even cared about their opinion of him and did it for his own amusement since he probably gets laid like a rockstar. I wasn’t there to see the girls’ reaction, so I was wondering if this would be a good opener? Completely unusable dick move? What do you think about it?

On paper, (and apparently in real life if this guy’s story about his friend is accurately retold), the fake drink opener seems like it would work very well, especially on hot girls with bitch shields in bars and clubs who will be expecting free drinks from suckers. Some of the best cocky teasing is the kind where you fool a girl into thinking you will meet her expectations of betatude, and then you pull the rug out from under her. She is left reeling in the warm juices of her arousal.

But in practice, I’m not sure this would be easy to pull off. Fake drinks have to be delivered in the same glasses that would hold real liquor for the trick to work. If you ask the bartender for a round of water shots (when the girl is far enough away from you that she can’t hear your order), the bartender will likely serve you the water in tall soda glasses, usually with a straw for added humiliation. Then the girl will know it’s not a vodka shot by the shape of the glass.

But that might be hair splitting. I’m sure you could get around that if you know the bartender and he’s happy to be in on your ruse. Or you could keep used shot glasses and fill them up with water, to hand out to any unsuspecting princess.

Regardless of the utility of this opener, props go to the reader for having the right frame of mind. That is half the battle in your quest for cheap sex.


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