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The Reluctant Cockblock

This post is also available in: German

I noticed her immediately. The hottest girl in the room weaved through the crowd, walking in my direction. As she neared at a quick pace, I saw her right arm extended behind her. The awkward positioning seemed odd to me. She passed, and a fat homely girl, attached to the bombshell’s right hand, was being dragged behind like a circus elephant. Fatso was a good foot shorter than the hot babe leading her around the sweaty drinkers, and, conservatively, 4 points lower on the looks scale. She wore a miserable expression; she clearly didn’t want to be there. She was literally walking in the shadow of a superior specimen of womanhood.

While the hot-ugly friend pair is not common, you do see this social female arrangement every so often, especially in meat markets. (A group of women of varied looks, some hot and some not, is more common.) Always the hottie looks like she’s having the time of her life and her unattractive friend looks irritated, wishing she were anywhere else.

Approach these bifurcated two-sets with caution. The ugly friend won’t actively cockblock you, (she’s too subservient to her hot friend’s prerogative), but you’ll have to deal with an even bigger obstacle: the hot chick has brought her along because she intends to either

a. find the warpig a man, or

b. launch the flaming warpig from a trebuchet at any man who lingers too long.

If (a), you’ll know right away; she’ll quickly introduce the fug before you can get a word in edgewise, encourage a dance circle of the three of you, then lean into fug’s ear, say something, and skip away to the bar, leaving you and the consolation prize alone. Niceguys will generally stick around for a few minutes (or hours), thinking that is the virtuous thing to do, and hoping the hot chick will come back and shower love on them for being genial with her ugly friend. Of course, that last part never happens. Meaner guys (ahem) will bolt, raining down blows upon an already clobbered homely girl’s ego.

If (b), you’ll know by watching for any nonverbal signals the hot girl telegraphs to her ugly friend. She’ll enjoy your flirting for a little while, but then the fug, as if on cue and reading from a script, will monotonously declare she has to get up early, or somesuch excuse. Having imbibed a sufficient quotient of your attentions to achieve orbital velocity validation, the hot girl will shrug her shoulders and trot off.

How do you handle the hot girl-ugly girl two-set? The game literature is clear: you open the ugly girl first and drop a neg on the hot girl, building a faux camaraderie with the potential cockblock, thus neutralizing any compulsion she may harbor to menstruate all over your game. But the ugly girl in the two-set is usually a reluctant cockblock; she’s not interested in rescuing her friend or being a noxious cunt. She agreed to go out because she likes to inhale the second hand seduction from all the action her hot friend gets. It’s vicarious thrills. But now she’s regretting her decision. (She can’t help it; hot girls have stronger powers of persuasion than ugly girls.)

No, the real cockblock in this two-set is the hot girl. She’s tough enough to game when she’s with a group of friends, but when she’s with one ugly friend, you have got your work cut out. I’d advise avoiding these “couples” in favor of cute girls who have equally cute girl friends. Then you can rev up jealously plotlines to your heart’s content.


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