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Ass hair.

More than a few women, particularly those of Levantine extraction, have fluffy furrow forests. There’s nothing as boner-instakilling as doing a girl from behind, spreading her cheeks for a glorious vista, only to find a wispy patch of dark anus fuzz greeting your arrival.

Ass hair is, and should be, the domain of men. No exceptions. Women, grab a mirror and inspect your nethers. Does your pussy hair continue past your taint like a growing moss? You’ve got a big problem. Get rid of it, fast, if you don’t want to lose that perfect man after the first date. (Second date if you’re Amish.) I don’t care what it takes or how much it’ll hurt — wax it, Nair it, zap it, dip it in an acid bath — just grit your teeth and think of how pleased your 15 year old remedial math student will be.

It’s hard to believe in this day and age there are women out there who don’t fully grasp the importance of their looks on how men perceive them. You can be a 10, but a thatch of ass hair will immediately deduct 5 points. It’s so unattractive, men will actually try to avoid having sex with you in favor of gazing at your pretty face and listening to you blab about Gossip Girl.

Even worse? When the pussy juice mingles with the ass hair, transforming it into an oily slick of matted seaweed.

Is any of this getting through to you?

This has been a deliberately disgusting and effectively shaming PSA.


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