Feed on

An emailer writes:

My girlfriend of two years sent me this text last evening: “My ma says that we aren’t going to last forever bc you’re just settling with me.”

My response this morning: “Ridiculous. You’ll always have a prominent place in my harem, babe.”

It goes without saying that in the past I would have responded with something along the lines of: “No, babe, we’ll be together forever” or some such lackadaisical retort. After being initiated beyond the level of neophyte in the crimson arts, however, I pass shit tests like an East Asian passes advanced Calc.

Strong, the alpha is in this one. His response was a combination of agree and amplify game and sarcastic disqualification.

Commenter dilla writes:

Couldn’t figure out how to send an e-mail, so I thought I’d post this prime example of a shit test.


me: hey lets go for that drink tomorrow

her: hi!! I actually already have plans, sorry
(note no attempt to reschedule)

me: gay.

her: my brother is gay but I suppose this is gay too.
(shittest. chances were good she was bs’ing, but you have to assume shes not)

me: oh ya? so is my cousin we should hook them up

her: haha! I was just kidding, i just wanted to see how you would react
(skank. but she might as well be telling me shes down for the cause)

me: my cousin will be disappointed. when are you free this week

A beta would have backpedaled and reflexively apologized. Dilla knew better.

Reader Sonso emails:

The pain of a girl getting flaked on.

So I had plans to meet a girl between 10 and 11AM. She lives about an hour and a half outside my city, but had to come in early to take care of some things and would be free at that time.

At 10:30 I get a text saying ”I’m just leaving my place now,” so I go and meet up with some friends instead. At around 1:30 I get a call asking if I was still around, and said I was. She said she was coming, but my phone died before she arrived.

The next day I get a message saying ”I hate you!”.

If a man ever sent a message to a girl saying ”I hate you!” after a flake, how quickly that snatch would snap closed…

This is more accurately described as an example of not taking blatant shit from a girl, rather than passing a flirtatious shit test. The two are related, as your response to either will determine how she perceives your attractiveness. “I hate you!” is girlcode for “I hate you for making my gina buzz like a hornets’ nest!”. Sonso should try again with this girl in about a week, but even if it leads nowhere he will have the satisfaction of knowing he retained his dignity and got under her skin.

My readers are starting to get it. Do you?


Comments are closed.