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Beta Of The Month Contest

I had no intention of bringing back the Beta of the Month contest, but these three sad sacks were an irresistible draw. The audience demands it, pay-per-view wants it, and the suits are throwing money at the talent scouts — namely, me.

BOTM Candidate #1 is a commenter to a ridiculously one-sided and myopic online article in The Atlantic called “Love, Actually: How girls reluctantly endure the hookup culture”, written by Caitlin Flanagan and dedicated to the proposition that the princess pedestal is the one true force of nature. I quote Flanagan:

This was how it was, during that endless, unhappy adolescence: my mother desperately trying to warn me of all the heartbreaks and dangers of womanhood […]

Today’s teenage girl—as much designed for closely held, romantic relationships as were the girls of every other era—is having to broker a life for herself in which she is, on the one hand, a card-carrying member of the over-parented generation, her extended girlhood made into a frantically observed and constantly commemorated possession of her parents, wrought into being with elaborate Sweet 16 parties, and heart-tugging video montages, and senior proms of mawkish, Cinderella-dream dimensions—and on the other hand she has also been forced into a sexual knowingness […]

She is a little girl; she is a person as wise in the ways of sexual expression as an old woman. […]

There might seem something wan, even pitiable, about all these young girls pining for boyfriends instead of hookups.

Hey Flanagan, one word: hypergamy. Look it up. Then try writing something that examines the issue of the sexual market with a little more full spectrum analysis.

The commenter’s handle is Uncle_Fred, and he writes in reply to Flanagan’s sexegesis (partial quote):

I’m of the Generation Y group (I’m 24). I don’t fret over it if my girlfriend wants to go out and have a one night stand with someone else. I just ask that that she calls me a couple times so I know she is safe. She is young and I would rather her have a good time while she can.

Enlightened Renaissance Man, or wretched loser? You be the judge!

A question for David Alexander Uncle_Fred comes to mind. Is this slut really your girlfriend, or is she your “””girlfriend”””, i.e. a chick who lets you sob on her shoulder but won’t let you sob in her cunt? You come out looking bad either way, but if the former description is in operation, you, sir, have descended to new lows of abject betahood. Your psyche may as well be the poster boy for microphallic minimasculinity.

Another commenter followed up to Uncle_Fred’s remark:

Wow, no kidding. Good for you for empowering your girlfriend that way… assuming that the arrangement has actually been tested?

It’s funny how in the face of psychological neutering and Darwinian obliteration, all these progressive-minded SWPLs can think about is how “empowering” it is for the woman involved. Something to keep in mind about empowerment — usually one person’s empowerment means another person’s powerlessness. Especially when the field of play is the sexual market, a zero sum game of the greatest urgency.


BOTM Candidate #2 is a classic cuckold, with a nauseating twist: he, like, totally forgiiiiiives his cheating wife and mother of their one-year-old child.

Tiffany Tehan, 31, disappeared Saturday, leaving behind husband David and 1-year-old daughter Lexie. The vanishing act triggered a cross-country search until police, acting on an FBI tip, found her staying at a Miami Beach motel with Tre Hutcherson, a man police had called a person of interest in her disappearance. Police quickly determined that Tehan was not in danger.

“She left voluntarily with this fellow and drove to Miami to — and these are her words — start a new life,” Miami Beach police Sgt. Wayne Jones said. […]

Husband Forgives Wife Immediately

David Tehan said Thursday he was angry at Hutcherson but that he “absolutely” forgives his wife. When asked why he forgave her, Tehan said, “I don’t know. It’s supernatural.

“She may have made some mistakes but everyone does and I can’t blame her for any of this,” the husband said. “She’s a person like anyone else getting through life, and it’s not always easy.”

Don’t these sound like the mincing words of a man who believes he cannot get any other woman? A big problem feeble betas have is a lack of understanding of the psychology of women. David doesn’t understand that by directing his ire at the interloping male and lavishing “forgiveness” on his cheating whore wife, he stokes his wife’s disgust with him. Not to mention he offers her a plenary indulgence from guilt or shame or any consequence whatsoever for her brazen cheating. What’s going to stop her from doing this again, to him or to any other similarly brainwashed man? As far as she knows, nothing. After all, her own cuckolded husband has called her blameless. “I’m a woman, please perch me high atop my victimhood pedestal and wash my dainty feet with oil!”

“Some mistakes.” “Mistakes were made.” “We all make mistakes sometimes.” The pathetic mewling of the untermensch. Wake up, son, and see the light.

The Beta:

The Bitch:

The Badboy:


BOTM Candidate #3 was submitted by reader Luke. He writes:

Unfortunately I have no information about this situation, other than it is in Madison Square Park, NYC. In any case, it’s good for a laugh.

This was the attached photo:

Anyone know anything about this guy? Could be a radio station prank, like the one pulled by a DC-based station last year. If it’s authentic, then there’s no denying the gravity of the groveling by this extraordinary beta.


The voting:


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