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You’ve been dating a girl for many months. She calls you boyfriend. You call her “dirty ho get on mah cooooock.” (Please to do impersonating Fat Bastard.)

She’s an adventurous girl who likes to travel to exotic lands. She’s also a sexually voracious girl. You’re a dude who reads this blog (smart!), so you know when a girl takes a vacation overseas odds are it’s meant to be a straycation where she sluts it up with a honey-tongued Antonio. Well, your girl has announced she wants to go on a hiking excursion through the wilds of South America, holing up in hostels along the way with musky scented hippies and assorted Euroladdies. She wants you to go with her, although she tells you she has been planning this trip since before she met you and will go by herself if you don’t join her.

The trip is expensive and you’re not digging the idea of blowing free time hiking on craggy rocks in foul weather. Let’s say you have alternate plans to spend your money on a big purchase in the near future. So you think it over and decide not to go, knowing full well the implications of waving bon voyage to a girlfriend who is about to embark on a lone trek through an exotic fantasyland, where she will be irresistible Americano prey for the local Lotharios. The thought weighs heavily on you, but not too heavily as you think about the fun you will have while the cat’s away.

Two weeks later she returns and jumps into your arms. She is positively glowing. She eagerly tells you about her trip and gives you a bunch of presents she bought while down there. Then she jumps you. The sex is as good as it always is. You think she came, but the important thing here is that you came. Afterwards, she makes soup for you and generally treats you like a king. In fact, over the next few days, you notice she’s bending over backwards to please you.


You wonder if her generosity of spirit and openness of heart is prompted by guilt or by joy at seeing you after a long absence.

The weeks pass and everything continues going well with her. But still… What exactly happened down there? You know better than to trust women, but if she’s continuing to sex you like you’re a god, and making you sandwiches with a smile, what do you care what did or didn’t happen? You’ve learned a few things about women over the years and one thing you know is that women don’t cheat like men do. Unlike men, women are incapable of expressing unbridled sexual lust and love for multiple men simultaneously. Women only have room in their emotional landscapes for one “main man” at a time. When a woman cheats, one of the men is going to get the short end of the stick. For example, a wifey who procures an alpha shaft on the side is likely henpecking her beta hubby and withdrawing sexual favors from him. By contrast, Tiger Woods was probably continuing to fuck the shit out of Elin even while getting his knob slobbed by twenty other women on the sly.

So you conclude that your girlfriend’s strong sexual desire and genuine affection for you means you are still number one in her heart, and that she probably did not do anything while away from you, except dream about being back in your arms. You *could* snoop around her stuff and spend mental energy trying to discover if she had a fling, or you could forget about your unfounded suspicions and just enjoy her everflowing love.

What do you do?


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