My list of the sexiest sex positions isn’t necessarily a list of the positions most likely to bring a girl to orgasm. A “sexy” sex position is one that mentally and emotionally arouses a girl beyond whatever she has experienced with any other man but you, you tiger. Sexy sex positions are often the same as or similar to those seen in classic steamy movies such as “9 1/2 Weeks” or “Secretary”. In contrast, the sex positions that maximally arouse a woman’s vagina and readily bring her to orgasm are in a different class than the sexy sex positions. Orgasm inducing sex positions are whatever gets the particular girl off, which for most girls involves hoisting her ankles over your shoulders and jackhammering her into bliss. If you want to know which type is more powerful, keep in mind the lovemaking sessions your girl will most remember — usually it will be those times your copulation was infused with a sexy Hollywood-ish vibe, where the real-life scene was cluttered with natural props and romantic lighting of the sort her memory can easily grasp and retrieve, and when the mood, tension, urgency and ambience were just right.
Sexy sex positions are often spontaneous; they are rarely planned, but they can be. If you attempt to blueprint a sexy sex position, you had better know what you’re doing. This is not amateur hour. Any whiff of calculated preplanning will ruin the memory for your girl.
The Venetian Blind Bang
It is 1 AM. The only light is that from a streetlamp streaming though the half-opened slits of a Venetian blind. You’re pulling your girl’s cocktail dress over her head as she writhes with anticipation. As one hand cups her breast, you push her back into the Venetian blinds, the street light painting shards of faint yellow across her face. Her fingers intertwine with the slats and her ass cheeks rattle the blind. Bonus: Exhibitionist thrill.
The Mighty Oak Rut
You’re in the deep woods. Small woodland creatures scurry. You press her body into the massive trunk of a majestic oak tree, yank her skirt up, and let her enjoy the pleasure of having two giant phalluses consume her. Species to avoid: Any smooth-barked tree. You want this to hurt her a little.
The Bearskin Rug Fuck
One white bearskin rug. Two glasses of red wine sitting on the floor nearby. One fireplace crackling with a winter fire. This is the setting for pure, intimate lovemaking. There will be no piston-like thrusting, only gentle, uninterrupted groin-to-groin missionary grinding. Yes, I once had a white bearskin rug and it was not a hipsterly ironic bearskin. Note: Do not try this during her period unless you have killed and bagged a red furred bear.
The Steamy Shower Sexytime
The shower is running. Her hair is wet and matted against her head and shoulders. She is facing away from you, into the shower stream, her hands awkwardly slipping against the tiled shower wall as she tries to steady herself from the onslaught of a powerful orgasm. You are doing her from behind, the natural lube of her pussy mixing with the warm water cascading down her belly and back. You push her harder into the wall, as her ass arches to meet your thrusts. Note: The trick to making shower sex memorable is to have one eye-catching curio or unique detail, such as oversized candles lining the tub. Or in your lustful haste you and her jump into the shower partially clothed.
Why this will leave an indelible imprint on your girl’s mind: I coaxed an amazingly sexy girl into the shower, her panties still clinging to her wet body. She was wearing black nail polish, and in the moisture and steam the nail polish had started to run, so that she left black streaks on the tiled shower wall where she had propped her hands for support as I fucked her from behind. The sex was so hot that afterwards I took a picture of the black streak marks she left on the tiles, as a memento:
The Muscle Car Straddle
You have parked your 1969 cherry apple red Mercury Cougar convertible in a deserted suburban park late at night. Swings from a children’s playground creak in the distance. Your girl straddles you in the driver’s seat, pushes aside her panties, and guides you in. She grinds into you as the sweet smelling humid summernight air enshrouds you and moonlight dances off the hood of your car. Bonus: Beep the horn with her backside at the moment of climax.
The Cemetery Fuck
This one will have to be planned by you. You are taking a nighttime stroll with your girl. The clock nears midnight. You “just happen” to walk past an old, creepy cemetery; the kind where the headstones have dates going back to the 1600s and thick vines wrap around everything. (Note: You may need to live in the Northeast to find these kinds of cemeteries). You locate an especially tragic gravestone, one where a young couple rests side by side in eternal sleep. You grab your girl’s fingers and trace the engraved names together.You lay her down in the leaf-covered grass, within view of the dead couple, and slide your hand under her pleated skirt. You keep your hand over her mouth and muffle her sex moans lest she wake ghosts in your presence. Bonus: If she’s superstitious, she will come in under 30 seconds.
The Nude Beach Stealth Bang
If you are on a nude beach in the Caribbean or on the island of Mykonos, You will want to wait until twilight to roll your girl onto her stomach and face plant her into the sand. Roll her over again like you are two rutting sea lions. Getting sand into her ass crack is a feature, not a bug. Thrillseekers: Do the same except during the day. Keep a minimum 20 yards from the nearest nudists and drape a large beach towel over your bodies. Grind, don’t thrust. Thrusting as your towel-covered ass goes up and down will be immediately visible to others.
The Warm Ocean Waters Intrusion
The Caribbean is a great place for fucking. As you and your girl bob on the gentle waves of azure waters, face the beach cove where your towel lays and people are sunning themselves, and gently nudge her bikini aside. Your dick should slide in like a buttered hot dog. You will want to be in neck deep water, because the Caribbean waters are very clear and you can see you feet even in five feet of water. You don’t want sunbathing Eurotrash to actually see the copulation. If your girl can tread water, wade out past the breakers where your feet don’t touch the sandy bottom. Bonus: Pulling out just before blasting to send spurts of your cum into the warm tropical waters will be a pleasure like none you’ve ever experienced before.
The Balcony Boff
Balcony. Nighttime. View of the city. Chair. Straddle. It works.
The Sheer Curtains Fuck
Do you have sheer, white, diaphanous floor length curtains in your home? If you do, you’ll want to have standing sex with your woman as the curtains wrap around you both, creating an exquisite tactile sensation against her skin. Bonus: Keep the window open so a breeze makes the curtain fabric dance around your beloved’s body.
Do all the above and she will compare all future beta boyfriends to the romantic, sexy moments she shared with you. They will never be able to please her like you did. You will have spoiled her for all other men. She will love you and hate you for this. Victory!
Please don’t ignore the clitoris…..it needs some luvn’ too!
P.S. That woman must have been wearing some cheap ass nail polish, either that or she stuck her finger up your behind…..what kinda nail polish leaves residue like that? I’ll tell yah…the cheap kind! :0)~
You know what would make these positions even better? Buttplugs! 😉
I fapped twice while reading that. Good one Roissy.
You have parked your 1969 cherry apple red Mercury Cougar
Cougar?
Buttplug Ultra:
The Venetian Blind Bang: turning rods (blind sticks)
The Mighty Oak Rut: affix buttplug to end of hunting knife or hatchet.
The Bearskin Rug Fuck: buttplug bear’s teeth.
The Steamy Shower Sexytime: buttplug on a rope.
The Muscle Car Straddle: buttplove compartment.
The Cemetery Fuck: Look, The Butt’s… and over there were the Plugs….
The Nude Beach Stealth Bang: buttplugs in the beer cooler.
The Warm Ocean Waters Intrusion: pass….
The Balcony Boff: see Venetian Blinds
The Sheer Curtains Fuck: you got me….
Venetian blinds: affix buttplugs to the ends of the turning rods (blind sticks)
I like:
The Stairwell Swoop
Walking up a couple of flights of stairs gets the blood pumping.
Lift up skirt.
Proceed.
Not a bad way to pass the time when there is a “broken” elevator.
– MPM
The cemetery one sounds like the best, no doubt about it.
Peter
Or:
The Cliff Hanger
I always used to take dates to these cliffs in one of Southern California’s most Exclusive beachtowns when I was a younger prototype G.
Blaze some chronic.
Mention how beautiful the view is.
Position your self behind her.
Lift Skirt.
Proceed.
As nature intended.
– MPM
Roissy,
In regards to The Cemetery Fuck:
Here is a tip for you, which you may already know.
There is a old cemetery on Wisconsin Ave in Glover Park.
And if I recall correctly, a great sushi spot nearby.
Eat some toro slabs and gulp saki.
Go for a walk after dinner.
Mention, “wow, look at that old cemetery, let’s go take a look.”
Continue.
– MPM
some local ideas:
– back porch of the Lincoln Memorial, overlooking the Potomac in the moonlight. Even the better angels of our nature can relate.
– Capitol grotto. Hill folks know where it is. some times locked up, but the location/ambience ratio is hard to beat.
– Sequoia. former Presidential yacht, now in private hands and rented out for Potomac cruises. there’s a bed down below and it’s where JFK boffed Marilyn after the “Happy Birthday Mr President” at Madison Sq Garden. Definitely one of his greatest achievements. gotta honor your country’s history…
other ideas?
@GMan – the Cathedral woods after a walk in the bishop’s garden would work as well, would it not …?
The shower one sounds like it was memorable because of the nail polish, which probably wasn’t nail polish because that stuff doesn’t run from water. Otherwise it’s shower sex, which isn’t as ‘uniquely’ set as the rest listed.
As for muscle cars, most girls don’t really care that much about muscle cars per se. Instead it sounds like if it’s memorable it is more because of return to high school nostalgia, since car sex tends to predate living alone.
maurice
“@GMan – the Cathedral woods after a walk in the bishop’s garden would work as well, would it not …?”
Yes.
There is also a big park in Tenlytown across from that pool hall and Krupins Deli.
Good spot.
DC is actually a Babylon for outdoor swooping.
Weather permitting of course.
– MPM
Local ideas for those really in-the-know:
The Harpers Ferry cave. Or the rock that juts out around the curve, just outside the cave. At night.
Views and beauty always work to the advantage of the up and coming International Playboy.
I have written about it before:
http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2006/12/sunshine-maneuvers.html
Another one for you DC heads:
The National Park along the Potomac.
Great for day swooping and can be good for spooky night swooping as well.
– MPM
Life Guard Stand.
Great Falls, Maryland side: hike on the path, boff to the sounds of rushing water, romantic lunch at the Old Anglers Inn. Back to the path for dessert.
C&O Canal – hike along the tow path, duck into the woods for the deed, walk some more, rinse, repeat.
Rock Creek Park. Mount Vernon. the possibilities are endless.
btw, for memorable sex – anyone remember “The Red Violin” and the British virtuoso’s kink of playing his violin while taking greta scacchi from behind? making beautiful music indeed.
Rock Creek Park
Right next to where Chandra Levy finished her jog.
I wouldn’t recommend areas around the Capital for anything other than some makin’ out. There are Cap Police all over and around that thing.
askjoe- true enough. also it’s locked at night. nice little grotto though.
@PA- i know exactly where the Chandra Levy remains were found – i drive by there all the time. it’s in a remoter part of the park so good for that, if you can get past the unfortunate associations.
BTW, I concur on most of these. However, please be advised of bad places to do it…as in please no exfoliation…
http://www.cracked.com/article_16675_9-awesome-places-have-sex-horrific-consequences.html
On the north side of the White House, in the tent of that ancient woman who has been camping out there since 1982.
1. Blowjob in the Undergraduate Student Society office of my school. Hot.
2. Blowjob in IKEA parking lot. Also hot.
3. Blowjob on her bed, when her kid walks in….Priceless
mile high club didn’t make the cut. i guess that’s too commonplace these days.
”””””””PA
On the north side of the White House, in the tent of that ancient woman who has been camping out there since 1982.””””””””””
Oh shit are you serious.
・・・普通・・・
in the
Oval Office
under
my desk
be sure to put some ice on it, FP.
Highly suggest everyone find an excuse to leave your ltr for 8 months of no sex then go back and have sexy time. Lot of fun. Pretty much will do every position you can think of over the previous 8 months in 6 days.
strictly for Washingtonianiters
strictly in
the know
No one had blow job while driving mua mua hahahaa
I always wanted to try fucking while driving after watching white men can’t jump that shit was hot just never did it ‘yet’
OK, this is my first day at this blog, I’ve skimmed a bit, enough to get the gist.
You’re a little too comfortable with the status quo, Roissy. I ask rhetorically: are you a woman? Or perhaps have teh ghey? You write “erotica” like a woman or homosexualist. While you may bang skank, for political purposes, at any rate, you are, effectively, a woman.
I’ll bet you live in Adams Morgan, amirite? Yeah, I’m hip to D.C., did a contract there once – ask me about the time I scored weed at 1st and O street with $900 in twenties bulging in the pocket of my chinos, then smoked it on the Mall. Good times.
Hey, I scored fairly well on your Dating Market Value Test, I bang skank from the internet, just not very frequently anymore because the cost – putting up with the stunned whores and their bullshit – just doesn’t match the benefits (teh sex, and only teh sex). I’d rather troll blogs and stuff. We have swingers clubs where I live, was a member of two of them actually, now I’m like “meh, been there.” I’d rather read.
Your website is pretty f*cking good as a resource, especially for one with herbish (honesty, kindness, forbearance, love for one’s family and community, and that sort of crap) tendencies such as m’self, and insightful, but, f*ck, you’re just a little too comfortable with the decline of western civilization for my liking. I’d like to see a “reverse Lysistrata” happen – withhold money, The Cock, and manual labor from stunned whores until they dummy up, but that’s as wishful as thinking gets, I guess.
I’ll be monitoring this blog a little closer. Govern yourself accordingly.
You forgot one…
The Dumpster Dragon
Take your special lady for a twilight stroll along the crumbling cement sidewalk of your favorite stripmall. Use your silver tongue to coax said ‘lady’ to the backside of the Angry Dragon Chinese Restaurant. Your lover will feel as though she has been transported to the Orient as the lilting strains of Asian Muzak and the smell of yesterday’s eggrolls flood her senses. Back her up against the dumpster and make your move, crouching tiger. Play your cards right and she’ll be begging for you to cover her fortune cookie with your sweet and sour sauce.
askjoe
be sure to put some ice on it, FP.
thanks joey.
but, the Liberal Media
has already
beat you
to it
”””””””’The Bearskin Rug Fuck
One white bearskin rug. Two glasses of red wine sitting on the floor nearby. One fireplace crackling with a winter fire. This is the setting for pure, intimate lovemaking. There will be no piston-like thrusting, only gentle, uninterrupted groin-to-groin missionary grinding. Yes, I once had a white bearskin rug and it was not a hipsterly ironic bearskin. Note: Do not try this during her period unless you have killed and bagged a red furred bear.””””””””””””’
You killed a bear?
And yea crackling fireplace cool
Sex without taking clothes off also can be rewarding.
The G Manifesto said:
The Stairwell Swoop
Yes, a classic. Pin her up against the wall up every flight of stairs–or pull her into you and make her pin you.
Then break it off with “Stop! What’s wrong with you? People will see us!”
Grab her by the hand and pull her up the stairs.
Do the same thing when you reach the next flight of stairs.
Also a classic: Dipping into a dark alleyway to ‘check it out.’
Eric
Rum
“Life Guard Stand.”
I hope you mean with a female lifeguard.
– MPM
Eric Disco
“Also a classic: Dipping into a dark alleyway to ‘check it out.’ ”
Make sure the alley doesn’t have any stick up men.
– MPM
You only roll with 900 lol wtf is wrong with you.
Got to have 10 g’s at all times be ready for anything.
Similar to the Balcony Boff, but more exhibitionist:
If you live in an area dense with condos or other apartments, sometimes it’s fun to do it in front of the window of a lit room at night. Only your silhouettes are visible.
Fucking in a car wasn’t a good experience for me. My knees got seriously bruised from repeatedly ramming into the side of the car door.
@ el chief:
1. Blowjob in the Undergraduate Student Society office of my school. Hot.
Better if you manage to get into a professor’s office.
Whenever the discussion gets around to car sound systems I tell them they have it all wrong. Want better music in your car? Get a faster car. Context is all important. Engage all 5 or 6 senses to make an impression.
Expensive chocolate tastes different when it served in a plain brown paper wrap.
Some of best sex too is when some crazy shit just went down or you as a man just completely blew your womans mind with your capabilities. Like you just saved your woman from getting eaten by a lion by stabbing it in throat with a ginsu knife. Shit like that.
Cathedrals, fireworks, theme park wheels, and summer storms
For high impact, it should be closer to heaven, soaked by water and accompanied by thunder and lightening.
Not that Pupu has done any of that.
@snatchmagnet- OK, not bad, but a bit of a buzzkill. go with the flow…!
i wonder what WMDIC’s IP address is? would it be a familiar one?
@pupu- no buttplugs this time, though. interesting. i bet you can generate fireworks of your very kind, though, you quant-jock little minx you. 😉
late at night on the subway
Okay, I have to admit that while reading over this list I was pretty apathetic about most of these places/positions. I’ve had sex in places private and public, with one partner, with two, with three, with an audience of twenty+ people, and it is not the location or the potential witnesses as much as the dynamic you have with your partner.
In sum: you can be having sex on a white bear rug in/on/around your Cougar parked in a beachside cemetary in the middle of the day while wrapped in white gauzy curtains, but if you’re fucking a herb, you’re still fucking a herb and there’s nothing sexy about that.
S.
@ el chief:
1. Blowjob in the Undergraduate Student Society office of my school. Hot.
Better if you manage to get into a professor’s office
S.uddenly
I like you
again
Poetry of Flesh
Okay, I have to admit that while reading over this list I was pretty apathetic about most of these places/positions.
we think you’d require doing DP, live on Conan O’Brian, with The Strokes providing a soundtrack to even feel a quiver of climax
this is what imagine FP and her lov-ahs are like
http://www.hulu.com/watch/4135/saturday-night-live-patio-lovers
@ Gunslingergregi
“Like you just saved your woman from getting eaten by a lion by stabbing it in throat with a ginsu knife. Shit like that.”
Hot!
@V- isn’t that a given? i read roissy’s post, and the subsequent comments, as ways to enhance sex and make it more memorable with a partner you’re already with and attracted to, not to substitute for attraction or cover for the lack of it.
wow.
askjoey can actually remember way back
when Will Farrell
was actually
funny
SRSLY
There was one story where it wasn’t but that was an outlier compared to all the other times. he he he
FPs remarks deserve an entire post to adequately detox. She managed to pack more self contradictions, delusion, and near psychotic dishonesty into a few lines of chat roomtext than most of us meet ever in RL unless we work in a locked-down facility.
Well ok it was still hot for her
SRSLY OMG ROTFLMAO
“more self contradictions, delusion, and near psychotic dishonesty”
wow, thanks for the compliments. I’m stunned
we all can’t be
hilarious
like you
actually, I assumed that A meant PF not FP.
shit. I made the same mistake, I meant PF not FP. note to self: Roosh was right, alcohol hurts dendrites.
Pupu coyly informed:
… closer to heaven, soaked by water and accompanied by thunder and lightening.
Not that Pupu has done any of that.
good. i want you to be chaste when i take you
askjoe
shit. I made the same mistake, I meant PF not FP. note to self: Roosh was right, alcohol hurts dendrites.
thank christ. i thought you and anony
went like Bruno-gay on me
SRSLY
Fucking threes company he he he
I’ll miss my old picture
This is Pupu’s favorite graveyard love song
those wacky euros – always with the comedy.
I prefer hot psycho dago filial piety passione – O Mio Bobino Caro
PS, hope my new pic is clear enough for you all who think roissy is a highly intelligent ramekin of
salsacocktail sauce@FP- it looks like a joke spaceship blueprint, like a dick version of the Bob’s Big Boy on Austin Powers.
@pupu – you’re an opera lover, eh? marvelous. what are pupu’s favorite operas, and why?
no graveyard or dead people in that song
roissy,
you speak to something important here….
see, i’m a guy that is somewhat transfixed by the female orgasm…basically, if my woman doesn’t get off, i feel like i’m not up to snuff, plus nothing gets me more turned on than a woman cumming.
i put all my effort into this one goal, but this is detrimental to originality and such, especially in LTRs. as you mentioned, the sexiest positions, ones that leave an indelible mark on her brain (and her ass) don’t usually get her off. orgasms are functions of habit if you will. it’s like they’re somewhat pre-programmed in a woman. most chicks need the same position, same stimulus, same thrusting power, same angle of entry, etc to climax.
but your post has reinvigorated me. you wrote something that i’ve long known, and i’m going to try it. adding the element of surprise is almost as important as bringing her to orgasm. plus the fact that if the element of surprise is completely gone and she expects the same routine over and over, those orgasms may get weaker and weaker until they flicker out.
Roissy’s blog is a beautiful Don Giovanni in action.
looks like it’s clipped from Russian TV, and is an excerpt from “Die Tote Stadt” by Korngold. “The Dead City.” very slick – Pupu knows a lot and has been slyly faking us all out with her childlike persona. it’s a gorgeous aria, but not suitable for graveyard sex, without without fireworks or buttplug.
On a farm, under the gaze of farm animals. Try it.
@pupu – so he will get dragged down to hell in the end? i don’t think we want that. so are you Anna, Elvira, or Zerlina?
As for muscle cars, most girls don’t really care that much about muscle cars per se. Instead it sounds like if it’s memorable it is more because of return to high school nostalgia, since car sex tends to predate living alone.
Woaaaah, woman speak for yourself!! I am stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of a late 60′s-early 70′s car. A hemi-cuda or charger will practically incite the closest thing to romantic love I’m capable of.
@S
My buddies on the swim team had an ongoing bet of who could get laid where on campus. One guy got it on in the Chancellor’s mansion.
Someone needs to start an intercollegiate gambling site for such acts. With picture evidence of course.
As long as everyone keeps writing, nobody goes to hell 🙂
Didnt actually do this myself,but I came close:on your boss’ desk,early in the morning,before anyone in the office has arrived.
RE: mile high club – if its done IN THE SEATS makes the list. (- balls out, skirt up…) this counts if a blowjob during day flight or full monty at night – both qualify.
bonus if a day flight. double bonus if you get a stewardess to join in.
(in the bathroom sucks, blue toiletman residue ugh.)
…would you like peanuts with that maam?
RE: mile high club –
half points if its your wife,
double points if its someone else’s!
i once watched a woman giving a man a handjob in the restaurant i worked at…it was about 4 p.m. on a friday, and he was munching on breadsticks during the act.
“secretly wants to go to hell but doesn’t believe there is one since it might be a challenge”
“She managed to pack more self contradictions, delusion, and near psychotic dishonesty into a few lines of chat roomtext than most of us meet ever in RL unless we work in a locked-down facility.”
I’m rather amused that my sex life is apparently so fantastical as to be unbelievable. I apologize that my comment offended your sense of reality so.
pupu answers my straightforward questions with coy evasions. very unlike her comment-data posts.
ok that was a lie.
@ maurice
mile high club didn’t make the cut. i guess that’s too commonplace these days.
Heh. I know at least three people who have been arrested at airports for such activities.
SRSLY.
@V- anonymous (that one) has an axe to grind with this site, for the most part. she posts angry, accusatory and false comments all the time, for which roissy has flamed her in the past.
my issue w/ your comment (above) was not about your sex life, but that it was off-point. place/setting is not substitute for person.
LIlgrl are you serious?
Isn’t that what the blankets are for. Give details.
@LILGRL- arrested, eh? probably not worth it. unless the sex is *really* good.
what’s the charge? no exposure, no nudity, no smoking in the rest room… what?
@ Gunslingergregi
SRS.
I believe these were all bathroom shenanigans. Two of the three were together when they were arrested. They got hounded by Italian police for awhile before they were let off — public indecency laws, etc.
The other one was just “arrested” by airport security.
Tips for success: Mostly empty plane, international flight going to a place where police are lax on non-drug-related incidents, during the second or third movie, and “Sorry…she was feeling sick.”
🙂
@ maurice
Public indecency, failure to comply with flight attendant’s instructions
lol
So I guess it is better to let her use her hand under the blanket especially if you just met her then he he he
I fucked a girl with a trident. Does that count?
—Brick Tamland
“Yeah, brick killed a guy, too!”
—Ron Burgundy
Flesh Poetry
I love it when a woman does the groupie thing for about 10 minutes in the dressing room closet of some mid-level rock star and then stumbles back to her friends to talk about the “dynamic” of her relationship with him.
I have had memorable times with motorcycles but I never make up stories about the “dynamic of our relationship.”
Have her meet you at your place of work when you are working late after hours. Tell her you’re going somewhere nice for dinner or drinks.
Fuck her right there in your office (or bar, or firehouse barracks or wherever you work… I work in a laboratory, and that’s an especially nice one), the lights off all over the place and the sound of evening traffic passing on the streets below. Then pull her skirt back down and head out for those drinks.
You get the bonus reward when you walk into work the next day and see your hot co-worker humming away at the desk you fucked your girl on.
People are sick.
@ Chuck
Touch the clit Chuck…touch the clit! Orgasm City. Trust me……
David Shade is a lower case god when it comes to the final stage in seduction.
Roissy have you read “the lost chapter,” in The Game? It mentions when Neil Strauss meets David Shade. Neil didn’t include it in the published version.
Amestris:
i love the clit. if restaurants had clit on the menu, i’d order it every time.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/7_million_people_direct
@Master Dogen
Lab is a good one. My ex worked in a particularly nice one with a view overlooking the city, and the waterfront. 2x the points for ambiance.
Yuk bigtime on sex in an airplane bathroom and/or public restroom of any kind. My naked body parts touching stuff in a public loo??? Fuck no.
I really wish I understood the fascination with semi-public sex. I’m very sexually uninhibited, but that’s intended for the person I’m having sex with, not general passerby. It just seems so trashy and low-rent.
[editor: too easy.]
Then again, I’m disgusted by PDA’s with couples too.
It’s one facet that just does not interest me at all.
@S
“Better if you manage to get into a professor’s office.”
Ahhh…grad school.
Maurice,
Pupu did not answer your question directly because she is terrible at picking one favorite out of a bunch (Don Giovanni is in the bunch). The answer changes with her moods. And Pupu is only in the mood for opera every now and then. If all this opera talk makes you wonder, no, Pupu is not old.
Outdoor sex NEVER fails to be hot – and if it’s rough (elements or otherwise) even better.
Speaking of the female O, I never really understood why men were interested in it. But then I went to a Sex Show (a trade show dealie selling products and sharing ideas etc) and I saw a woman brought to orgasm by a violet wand (I think that was what its called) and wowee! It was hot and it made sense as to why dudes like getting women there.
Sometimes ya wonder if not going to college for 6 years was the best thing you have ever done. I would hate to have been turned into a faggot. Probably would have 2 kids and paying child support for both and alimony by now. Plus I would still have to pay back some student loans. Holy fuck I just thought about that wtf so a guy who went to college with loans that has 36 percent of income going to cs. Man how much are your college loans I now feel extremely bad for you sobs. he he he
I got to feel bad for people that “got the education” and “achieved something” yet I can go work at mcdonalds and have more spending money than a divorced guy with kids paying cs alimoney and student loans. Holy Fuck.
No wonder male enrollment in college going down maybe a subconscious knowledge that it may be a shitty deal in the end and just one more bill.
The Sexiest Sex Positions?
1. the ones where she’s begging
Sorry was way off topic just blew my mind though.
Wow
@Keith:
Professors are only enigmatic when you’re still in undergrad, not when you’re a pedestrian TA ferrying around their groceries and feeding them paper ideas. Then you just fantasize about an usurpation of power.
“and I saw a woman brought to orgasm by a violet wand (I think that was what its called) and wowee!”
perhaps it’s a control thing. being able to cause such a violent reaction in a woman, her toes curling, her eyes rolling back in her head, squealing, moaning is very powerful.
this is why squirting is such a huge deal nowadays. the more violent the orgasmic reaction (and short of her head flying off, squirting is as violent a reaction as there is) the more satisfied the man feels.
plus the fact that if a woman orgasms with you every time, she tells her friends, etc. word of mouth advertising, and it places you above other men to a certain extent.
@chuck – “plus the fact that if a woman orgasms with you every time, she tells her friends, etc.”
Yes that is in fact true.
Is it true that men are much more private about their sexual experiences with women with their own friends?
aoefe don’t tell me you never had an orgasm.
Please not that.
Yea but woman tell everyone not just there friends.
@gunslingergregi – “aoefe don’t tell me you never had an orgasm. ”
I can assure you I’m MOST selfish in that regard. 🙂
S. blurted:
Then you just fantasize about an usurpation of power.
screw lady raine. now this is the sickest female unit here. kuh-reepy
@gunslingergregi
My point earlier was more about why did men care if a woman has an O, if he has one that was what mattered, but that isn’t the case. After I witnessed a woman in the throes I got it. That explain it better?
I could see going up into the mountains armed with nothing but a backpack full of delicious items maybe some ice bottle of wine.
aoefee squished:
I saw a woman brought to orgasm by a violet wand and wowee!
i knew there was something diff about Canadia; the men all have purple wallets
Let’s just say I’m typing this with one hand. Penthouse Forum, eat your heart out.
@Firepower:
When you spend 7 years of your life pandering to your supervisor the thought has to come up once or twice.
And the times that woman all around talked about a perfect LTR relationship it was one where all we did was fuck. Woman love to fuck that is just it. Of course they expect the man normally to be initiating all that fucking in all those places.
@Firepower
Canadia’s women I’ll have you know are altruistic givers who only have their men’s best interests at heart – we give till we can’t give anymore and then we keep on giving. 😉
Anyone reading this who wants to move to Canada I have some igloos I want to sell you first.
@ aoefe
@chuck – “plus the fact that if a woman orgasms with you every time, she tells her friends, etc.”
Yes that is in fact true.
Hmm.
Interesting.
My girlfriends and I don’t talk about our sex lives in any manner of detail. All I really want to know about their sex lives (and all they really want to know about mine) is a) are they having it, and b) is it good.
SRSLY. Hmm.
””””””aoefe
@chuck – “plus the fact that if a woman orgasms with you every time, she tells her friends, etc.”
Yes that is in fact true.
Is it true that men are much more private about their sexual experiences with women with their own friends?”””””””””’
I of course post to much shit on this blog but in case I die there will be some kind of legacy if I don’t complete my dreams. Plus it would be interesting later I would imagine to recheck my posts when I build that monument to myself he he he
“Is it true that men are much more private about their sexual experiences with women with their own friends?”
i really think it is. personally, i rarely tell anything of my sex life, unless its something off the wall.
a chick squirting or something “abnormal”. i once brought a woman to orgasm from sucking on her nipples, i told a few people about that.
but i can compare the info i share with my friends and the info my girlfriend shares with her friends. my GF tells her friends everything. they know intimate details about me and about our sex life whereas none of my friends know anything about it.
women are just more detail-oriented in conversation like that than men.
Yea you should keep it that way Lilgrl that way they won’t go and jump on epoxy when your not looking.
WOW.
Ok, I normally read this blog more for the education on “Who NOT to Date.” Don’t get me wrong, I can see how women might initially be attracted to Roissy. He’s mysterious, brilliant, arrogant, and has The Game down pat.
But after a while, I’m sure you’d realize he’s really just a dog at heart, getting ready to chase the next hottest tail that comes his way. Personally, I would not want to be in a relationship who I could not trust completely.
So I’ve always thought of Roissy’s “LTRs” as women who must fall into the following categories:
1) Too stupid to see it
2) Too crazy/masochistic to care, or
3) In love with the drama.
Now, I see there is a fourth category… ADDICTED TO THE SEX.
Yup, I said it. The above list is pure fucking gold. This is a hall o’ famer.
”””””””””””S.
@Firepower:
When you spend 7 years of your life pandering to your supervisor the thought has to come up once or twice.””””””””””””””””””””””
Brought this up before over and over. Woman are supposed to love there boss and do shit for him.
Not their husband.
Dad even said his secratary was ready to give it up. He was not a cheater though. The secratary had a husband. He had a wife.
Got to have your woman in her own business just to keep temptation to a minimum. Plus some dolt is not going to be telling her what to do. Also she is not going to be a puppy begging for him for stuff to do. Or begging him to give her the dick so she gets favors or better working conditions. Also she will make more money and have free time to keep you her man as the priority in her life.
Anyone reading this who wants to move to Canada I have some igloos I want to sell you first.
There are no igloos in Canada…well, where you and 98% of Canadians live…
Is it true that men are much more private about their sexual experiences with women with their own friends?
One of my friends tells me about his sex life, but I’ve stopped caring since he switched from having hot sex with hot women to a homely girl that he has “intimate sex” with.
@Lexi
2) Too crazy/masochistic to care
Haha! I found out too late a guy I was dating was a PUA. He fit the bill entirely, ascribed to Game, things like the 3 date rule, slept with dozens of women, etc. When we broke up, as he was moving, he called me undoubtedly masochistic for staying with him that long in the first place.
@LILGIRL – “My girlfriends and I don’t talk about our sex lives in any manner of detail. All I really want to know about their sex lives (and all they really want to know about mine) is a) are they having it, and b) is it good.”
Oh I’m in agreement, but afterall what is ‘good’, if not lots of O’s. 🙂
@DA -”There are no igloos in Canada…well, where you and 98% of Canadians live”
Re-read my post, that was kind of where I was going with that silly.
Sexual position,
In the field for 20 days only shower is a 5 gallon bucket.
Dirty nasty,
You walk in the door and your wife sucks you off.
That is some dedicated hotness.
@S. – “he called me undoubtedly masochistic for staying with him that long in the first place”
My guess chickie is if he banged on your door tonight, you’d open it wide.
S.
@Firepower:
When you spend 7 years of your life pandering to your supervisor the thought has to come up once or twice.
i bet you’re really ready to give him a piece of your mind – you 21st century militant
@aoefe:
Most likely.
@firepower:
I’m only speaking from the vicarious experience of two of my exes, who were academics. I’m stll in undergrad, and still very much attracted to (certain) professors.
Backdoor man,
Even better as far as the farm goes: how about watching her fuck a donkey? One thing I have discovered is that more women have bestiality fantasies than would care to admit. I think it is one of the last, truly hidden little secrets about womanhood. I knew one woman who told me she fantasized about fucking a dog. Another woman I fucked became seriously turned on once when I described a lion fucking a lioness. She particularly loved the image of the lion’s balls hanging down while he fucked his leonine mistress. Seriously. After I told her that she immediately needed me to fuck her, so turned on she became.
And of course some, if not many men have the filthy fantasy or desire of watching a woman fuck an animal.
Bestiality: one of the truly last taboos.
Dang just read a little bit of your blog s. Your almost a virgin but yet your talking about needing to scratch that itch of needing sex like you are hooking up all the time. Interesting. Wonder how many sexual encounters it takes for a woman to become jaded.
S. confessed:
@firepower:
I’m only speaking from the vicarious experience of two of my exes, who were academics. I’m stll in undergrad, and still very much attracted to (certain) professors.
schweet – get lilgrl to divulge how
to get not only good grades, but cash prizes – and those lovely parting gifts.
mmrrowww
Rum,
I’m sorry, I didn’t specify what I meant by “relationship”, and I should have done so.
I did not mean “relationship” in the way that we’ve “really gotten to know each other” or “we’ve been dating” or “I really have feelings for this guy”.
I meant more of the social set-up between the two (or more) parties. Two strangers at a bar is a relationship. The interaction you bring to that, the elements involved in knowing that you could/will be sleeping with a stranger, any dominant male act he wants to put on, the potential chemistry between you, the possible objectification.
For your rockstar/groupie relationship, that does it for some people.
But unless you’re fucking the tailpipe of your motorcycle, I doubt you’ve got a sexual dynamic with it. Even then, that’s iffy.
Maurice,
Sorry, I didn’t realize you were calling me “V”, so I missed your comments. And, you’re right. I read this post more as a “how to blow a random girl’s mind, one that you’re not too serious about, but want to keep on your list of people to call for sex”.
And thanks for the explanation of “anonymous”. It still weirds me out that people think my sex life is so amazing/over-the-top that it must be fantasy. I’m quite sure that several of the men in here could outdo me, no problem. …and there’s a bad joke in there that I’m not even going to touch.
Firepower,
Conan O’Brien? No, I think I’d need to be on Oprah with a Sybian set up for DP and maybe some old 90s band like Stone Roses providing mood music to feel a quiver of orgasm. Oooh, maybe Stone Roses opening for like, Bon Jovi or the Bacon Brothers.
Silverchair, even?
Nothing gets a white collar professional woman off like a vigorous screw in a 3/4 ton class pickup truck (F-250 is preferred here). Especially if she’s never done it before.
@Gunslingergregi:
In spite of having limited sex partners, I had consistent accessibility to sex for merit of being in two successive long-term relationships. This is my first period of being truly single in a while, and I’ve been taking advantage by dating a lot more (not sleeping around). Which of course, excites my sexual urges without fulfilling it.
Gunslingergregi queried:
Interesting. Wonder how many sexual encounters it takes for a woman to become jaded.
if you continue to show promise…
I’ll show you how to do it right – so it only takes just once 😉
140 posts and nobody’s talking about race or HBD yet?
Obsidian will be veeeeery disappointed…
””””’It still weirds me out that people think my sex life is so amazing/over-the-top that it must be fantasy. I’m quite sure that several of the men in here could outdo me, no problem. …and there’s a bad joke in there that I’m not even going to touch.””””””’
I think she might be talking about you though he he he
Poetry who told you this we want names.
Tarl
140 posts and nobody’s talking about race or HBD yet?
Obsidian will be veeeeery disappointed…
yeah, all this talk with the pussy posse about juices, fucking and positions – yawn.
but, if you say O’s name out loud thrice
while looking in a mirror…
What the fuck is this. Man ok now glad I do not watch porn jesus christ that one chick wasn’t bullshiting about standards going up. Pretty soon guys gonna make a chick fuck a horse before they marry em. God dang Racer. I draw the line somewhere.
””””””””””””””Racer X
Backdoor man,
Even better as far as the farm goes: how about watching her fuck a donkey? One thing I have discovered is that more women have bestiality fantasies than would care to admit. I think it is one of the last, truly hidden little secrets about womanhood. I knew one woman who told me she fantasized about fucking a dog. Another woman I fucked became seriously turned on once when I described a lion fucking a lioness. She particularly loved the image of the lion’s balls hanging down while he fucked his leonine mistress. Seriously. After I told her that she immediately needed me to fuck her, so turned on she became.
And of course some, if not many men have the filthy fantasy or desire of watching a woman fuck an animal.
Bestiality: one of the truly last taboos.””””””””””””””””
Lexi – ” . . . but after a while, I’m sure you’d realize he’s really just a dog at heart . . . “
And what exactly is wrong with being a dog???
By the way, are cz, Maurice and I the only ones who got the buttplug memo? Seriously, a buttplug free-for-all would have been a such a beautiful thing.
Gunslingergregi
In the field for 20 days only shower is a 5 gallon bucket.
Dirty nasty,
You walk in the door and your wife sucks you off.
That is some dedicated hotness.
you da man! dood – that IS, like some totally dedicated “Woodstock” sucking – the mud and the blood and the hippies and whatnot. fuck, it’s almost Deliverance like.
What rif you obviously didn’t scroll through and read the comments.
Pupu we need another chart made of but plug comments.
I am in the shower I have a hard time getting it in. So is the ocean better for lubrication?
Done lake need to do ocean cemetary. Although there is a cemetary in my back yard if that counts.
@Riff
I think we plugged it pretty hard in the last the last thread.
Gunslingergregi,
I dunno. If I told you the name of my source, you might try to silence him all oldschool, and then how would I get the dirt on you guys? Not to mention, my street cred would be blown, no narcs would work with me anymore, and then the chief might make me a meter maid.
Poetry of Flesh
Firepower,
Conan O’Brien? No, I think I’d need to be on Oprah with a Sybian set up for DP and maybe some old 90s band like Stone Roses providing mood music to feel a quiver of orgasm. Oooh, maybe Stone Roses opening for like, Bon Jovi or the Bacon Brothers.
Silverchair, even?
u-go-girl – I had you figured for the “Oprah-Empowered” type. Those fat-ass, 40 year-old white bitches in the audiences will be blowin’ the dust off their cootchies when they see you straddlin’ a 240 Volt Sib like you’re bull riding at the Kentucky Derby.
But, Stone Roses – why such lugubrious lubrication music? Go with The Flow: Michael Jackson tunes.
You Wanna Be Adored.
” Cemetery fuck:
Bonus: If she’s superstitious, she will come in under 30 seconds.”
Oh fuck! Is this true? Is this true?
Oh fuck! Oh fuck! I can imagine me fucking my “supersticious and religeous” ten in an ancient celtic site, in a medieval castle, in woods with a Tradition of “Occult Powers”… fuck! fuck! INSIDE CONVENTS! Or in the gardens of convents… wait, that’s too much.
In the common room of a Romantic Barroque Castle-Palace hotel at night. Right where it says: “Here stayed the Duke of Wellington who with help of our Lord Jesus Christ, expelled the French forces of Napoleon…”
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
@Brendan – “Let’s just say I’m typing this with one hand. Penthouse Forum, eat your heart out”
Gawd you’re easy to please! 😉
@FP- then you end up at Satan’s birthday party in LA with Butters eating a piece of Acura cake.
Pushing the limit into newness every time is a lot harder than simply anchoring on what works and initiating a ‘conditioned response’. Pavlov’s O as it were.
Of course, the ‘old’ conditioned response doesn’t actually get old. And you can alternate in a very large circle on parts of the ‘same old thing’. It’s simple laziness and lack of imagination that prevents a steady rotation. I’m not saying you should have a list and go down it row by row… she’ll probably never figure it out though if you do. Make modifications as appropriate. Upward spiral, because straight-up is impossible and foolish.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The need for constant variety is truly a hungry and destructive vice. Oh sure, your okay for the first 20 permutation, or even more, depending on how clever you are. But pretty soon, your going to have to ramp it up a notch in some unpleasant way. And later, another notch again.
See the talk about bestiality on this thread for a good idea what I’m talking about.
It is a concern. Certain types of people, and they are varied but include me, have to specifically be wary of it, and it is a very real problem.
Compared to that, good old lust is virtually harmless.
I mean look at Arpagus. Way out of control lust. Suddenly, a few aggressive sex sessions later, fine.
Firepower,
Next time I hop on a Sybian, I will wear a cowboy hat in your honor. I won’t even bother to explain it to whoever I’m with.
But Michael Jackson? Come on! The best thing that came out of this whole “memorial” thing was wandering around the Staples Center checking out the (very) occasional hot tech guy and flirting with the camera crews.
If you’re not down with my alternative 90s, then I’ll go with Madonna’s “Dress You Up”.
No, there is absolutely no logic behind my music choices.
You know me too well, with my love for Oprah and talk shows in general. Man, you should see my Dr. Phil book collection.
”””””””Comment Whatever,
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The need for constant variety is truly a hungry and destructive vice. Oh sure, your okay for the first 20 permutation, or even more, depending on how clever you are. But pretty soon, your going to have to ramp it up a notch in some unpleasant way. And later, another notch again.”””””””’
That is the thing once you reach the pinnacle and done everything you possibly could or would want to do what the fuck is left but dowhill.
Tarl, Firepower,
LOL, very funny. Well, not really-that whole frat boy style humor, that’s not really my steez. Y’all White boys can knock yourself out though. Have at it.
As for the topic itself, I don’t get down w/watching chicks band barnyard animals, dogs and the like. Not knocking anyone else, I just don’t do that.
As for where I’ve been, I spent the better part of the day actually doing what R just happened to post today. He aint sayin’ nothin but a word there, and one would think that such a thing is a given.
*shrug*
O
Obsidian
As for where I’ve been, I spent the better part of the day actually doing what R just happened to post today.
goddam – only The Black Man has the time to spend a whole Monday fucking
it really IS your world man
1. This post is hott.
2. At the risk of being mocked for my taste in television, I wanted to share that today’s episode of The Closer is about the murder of a PUA, who goes by the name of “Intrigue”. It’s on now on TNT.
@ Chuck
Thank God….you might be the only man who knows….ur a keeper.
Thats facccinnnaatttinnngg pookie.
God dam media.
wtf did the woman nag him to death?
Or what it an angry husband?
Or was it a boyfriend or wanna be boyfriend?
Gunslinger: Dunno yet, it’s a new episode. It’s clearly based on the Mystery Method guy though.
the bonus entries tiurned a 9 post to a total 10! rofl.
for your consideration as blog fodder – wall examples?
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/07/13/romo-gives-jessica-a-pink-slip-for-her-birthday/
””””””””””http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/college/2006-06-11-debt-cover-usat_x.htm
From article,
Palazzolo, 25, graduated on Mother’s Day from Rutgers University with a master’s degree in public policy and student loans exceeding $116,000. His payments will average about $800 a month. It could have been worse: Because of his top grades, Rutgers paid Palazzolo’s tuition for his final year of graduate school.”””””””””””””’
lol so this dude get married and has two kids and then divorced has take home of 23,000 dollars.
Dam cruel and unusual punishment,slavery what the fuck do you call that?
Who pays $116K for a master’s in public policy? It’s a two-year degree, $30K per year tops at the best schools. Must’ve got a crappy interest rate too.
I was just pointing it out to say that life is a joke.
I figured it out.
So did my wife.
This shit is hilarious.
Why is it so hard.
lol
@Poetry of Flesh
Random, great taste in music. I love some old school Madonna.
I just saw “Bruno”. I’ll need to have some of those images surgically exised from my retinas. Funny but over-the-top.
Firepower:
“The Sexiest Sex Positions?
1. the ones where she’s begging.”
Hmm…. very interesting.
Seems a lot of people that comment here are interested in the power exchange.
@maurice
Did you see Borat? Was it better, worse or bout the same?
Pookie ventured:
At the risk of being mocked for my taste in television…
mocking only happens here if you propose watching Dancing with the Stars is better than Giada DeLaurentis
mout
@dreamer – “Seems a lot of people that comment here are interested in the power exchange”
I was thinking this earlier today. Well actually I was thinking about some of the conversations which take place regarding hi-IQ men having difficulty getting women. I think higher IQ guys have the potential to do really powerful mind-f__cks, specifcally playing with TPE (total power exchange). A man who has a fantastical imagination and a knowledge of what a woman really needs (to be led) can really mess (in a good way) with a girls head. In fact his social distance if its present could be used in a very erotic way…just some thoughts going through this lil head o mine.
Dreamer erred:
Firepower:
“The Sexiest Sex Positions?
1. the ones where she’s begging.”
Hmm…. very interesting.
Seems a lot of people that comment here are interested in the power exchange.
no interest at all
in power exchange
just a power release
@firepower
See the thing about power exchange is the dude gets it ALL.
Yea but on another note part racer.
Guys need to demand more from there woman.
1st wife earned loyallty sending me a letter every day and a package every week or so when I was in bosnia.
2nd wife earned loyalty by spending 3 months in prison based upon nothing but my word and her trust in me. Yea that earned respect. Then 4 year ltr. Got to reciprocate that shit.
hypothetically 3rd wife would probably go to racerland and have to fuck a horse to get some loyalty.
Got to come up with stress tests to see if your woman can pass.
@Aoefe
“A man who has a fantastical imagination and a knowledge of what a woman really needs (to be led) can really mess (in a good way) with a girls head. In fact his social distance if its present could be used in a very erotic way…just some thoughts going through this lil head o mine.”
Try to keep your hints to me a little more subtle.
@gunslingergregi – “2nd wife earned loyalty by spending 3 months in prison ”
Holy cow dude you totally need to write a book!!
You had a wife that spend 3 months in prison for you…who can top that??
@keith – “Try to keep your hints to me a little more subtle.”
I was thinking you needed a damn beacon.
@aoefe
“I was thinking you needed a damn beacon.”
I like to make you work for it.
aoefe–
See the thing about power exchange is the dude gets it ALL.
He gets the power.
She gets the feelings. Incredibly intense transcendent feelings.
He gets some of those, but less.
He gets hers through her.
That’s the core truth of it.
@keith – “I like to make you work for it.”
Try to keep your hints a little more suble.
@subtle
Yea tests for second one became much much more difficult to pass. After heart torn out in first one will not divorce again.
@doug
Sounds right to me.
@aoefe
“Try to keep your hints a little more suble. – subtle.”
I’ve got you tongue-tied.
@keith – “I’ve got you tongue-tied.”
Your imagination is running away with you, there might be hope for you yet.
@aoefe, doug
um, i think you two are reading my mind.
I have a wife who did that he he he
By writing this blog Roissy is doing a great service for herbivores like myself because it allows us to live vicariously. I love to read about Roissy doing all the things I want to do but can’t, and I pretend I’m the one doing it. This is as good as life gets. Thank you Roissy.
@aoefe
“Your imagination is running away with you, there might be hope for you yet.”
I fill you with hope.
@herbie
If watching others have the life and you participate vicariously and it turns you on then you will have a sad, sad life my friend. Grab the bull by the proverbial horns dude.
I really don’t get that attitude, I don’t. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with it – so do something!!
Keith you acting just like a little bitch right now.
But hey she hasn’t said a negative.
So rock on.
@gunglingergregi
No he’s really trying to flirt with me honest. Let him practice, I’m enjoying it.
@aeofe- about the same as borat, only, well, a lot gayer. not as good, maybe, because the shtick is that much older. i think he’s at his best when he’s making the powerful look like idiots, like he did on the TV show. at this point everyone knows who he is (except ron paul and paula abdul), so he doesn’t land any really big names. worth a look-see if you like that kind of humor.
By writing this blog, Roissy is doing a great service for carnivores like myself because it allows me to compare notes. I love to read about Roissy doing all the things I’ve done, but slightly differently, and I pretend there’s more left to discover. Beautiful memories, as good as life gets. Inspired to imagine and create new ones. Thank you, Roissy.
@aoefe
“I’m enjoying it.”
Of course you are.
@maurice
I didn’t see Borat, but I saw Bruno interviewed on Matt Lauer’s show and it appeared interesting. Two hours might be a bit much.
@keith – “of course you are”
Come on! That’s a comeback? Work it, work it.
I can’t do it myself because I’m afraid.
@herbie
DA is that you?? 😉
Doug taught me a valuable lesson that is for sure.
Thank You Doug 🙂
@aoefe
“Work it, work it.”
So you’re begging for more.
@keith – “work it, work it”
If that’s begging you’re sorely under-served. Cuz that would be the least sexy way to beg, in fact to me it sounds like an order…
@ aoefe
Well actually I was thinking about some of the conversations which take place regarding hi-IQ men having difficulty getting women. I think higher IQ guys have the potential to do really powerful mind-f__cks, specifcally playing with TPE (total power exchange). A man who has a fantastical imagination and a knowledge of what a woman really needs (to be led) can really mess (in a good way) with a girls head.
Interesting.
I’d say, yeah, a high IQ guy with game (actual game, not Roissified knowledge of game) would have some SRS potential to be a menace (I mean that in the best way possible). Add high T and the situation would just be dangerous. Heh.
Though he’d probably be kind of stupid when it came to certain things, like figuring out the difference between a router and a modem.
*cough*
@ maurice, aoefe
Re: Borat
SRSLY, guys? SRSLY?!
@Aoefe
What, you think there is only one herb in the world? There are millions of us! Maybe even thousands. Hundreds may well be involved.
@aoefe
“Cuz that would be the least sexy way to beg,”
You’ll get better with my direction
@keith
Please don’t stop! Oh gawd…oh gawd…NO don’t STOP!Pleeeeease…pretty please…mmmm… oh my gawd…please can I have some more sir??
Now that’s begging dude. 😉
@aoefe
“Now that’s begging dude. ;)”
My direction’s working already.
[editor: you are the lamest flirter in the world. if you’re not flirting with aeofe , then you are the lamest snarkmeister in the world. either way, you’re boring. woops, i dropped a box of toothpicks! try not to get distracted.]
@lilgirl
No have never watched Borat or Bruno, just wondered if the second one lived up to the reputation of the first.
So you’re saying you’re not a fan.
Ok I am laughing to hard at work now bitch is staring at me and I can’t show her the blog. Pulling up old you tube video.
@ aoefe
Eh, I haven’t seen either Borat or Bruno, but they seem like the kind of things I’d be able to watch for about five minutes before I got bored and/or distracted and/or wanted to start shooting myself in the head. And I’m all about teh cinemaz, so that’s saying something.
@lilgirl
I don’t recommend My Sister’s Keeper for dudes wanting to get action afterwards. Your chickie will be crying too hard, will carry the spector of loss home with her and sex will be the LAST thing on her mind. I suggest The Proposal (gag).
“editor: you are the lamest flirter in the world”
You’re cue when you’re threatened.
[editor: i’m only trying to help the less gifted. i’m a giver.]
@Editor:
“i’m a giver.”
I don’t blame you for wanting to give, but I don’t swing that way.
[editor: it’s always about counting cocks with you autistic poofters.]
@Ed
“autistic poofters.”
You can fantasize about me all you like. Just no stalking, ‘kay?
[editor: as a full spectrum autistic does it seem like the world is stalking you? i understand you functional tards freak out sometimes in crowds.]
alphie and herbie appear to be a single smart-ass troll in disguise. feeding not recommended.
@keith
Dude you’re losing in a very big waaay…it’s okay to admit your strength is NOT in comebacks. I mean SRSLY (stealing the phrase).
I think alphie may have been being genuine.
”””””’Beautiful memories, as good as life gets. Inspired to imagine and create new ones. ”””””””’
I mean yea trial and error and imagination is how you come up with some new stuff. So that you can put what you imagined into practice and create new memories.
Like testing your woman you can imagine some tests then follow through then have created a memory.
@aoefe
I showed how easy it is to pass “shit tests.” Blogger bitch got mad that his system’s so trivially easy and threw a tantrum over it. So then I smacked his bitch ass around a bit.
Deal.
@keith – “I showed how easy it is to pass “shit tests.” ”
Okay fill me in, what shit test did you pass?
@aoefe.
“Now that’s begging dude. 😉 ”
“My direction’s working already.”
Boom. Follows the formula. Ain’t nothing to it.
Keith aren’t you the one for child support?
lol talking like yea i love it yea give me one then she can divorce me then give me another I’ll pay 66 percent then taxes and have nothing it is all good I want to be some chicks slave for life.
@keith
Ummm ya…no. That wasn’t it, not even close. But you can keep with that thought if it makes you happy.
@keith
Because I think you may interpret the above as a genuine desire for you to be happy I’ll add that the comment needed to be read with serious sarcasm, just like the rest of em.
That said Keith you’re fun to make fun of, in a good way. 🙂
@aoefe
“That wasn’t it, not even close.”
A. Didn’t go for your bait.
B. Reinforced my value relative to yours.
That’s the formula.
You can try to impress me with a better one. But you better make it good if you try.
@aoefe
“That said Keith you’re fun to make fun of, in a good way. :)”
Sometimes, when you try hard enough, you manage to amuse me.
and with that Bitchy MacEefee retires and sweetie mcaoefe returns.
aoefe–
I thought you wanted to learn how to do blockquotes.
And that I’d taught you, via Default User?
Re-read my post, that was kind of where I was going with that silly.
I believe the igloos are a front for manufacturing your evil testosterone serums…
@ Keith
Hmm, you need to work on your game. SRY. True story.
@ doug1
Where is Default these days…
The beautiful thing about all this is the endless possibilities depending on environmental variables.
I live in the Pacific Northwest, and here we have beds of lush, vibrant moss under the heavy, dripping boughs of ancient evergreens.
We have rough pines and smooth, sticky spruce. There are giant boulders besides roaring waterfalls, and soft, rotting logs covered with semen-scented mushrooms.
There are mountain valleys cut by clear creeks with slippery trout swimming up the narrow canals to spawn amidst fields of flowers that dust lovers with wind-shaken pollen.
And if you can catch a girl, hot and thirsty at the line of wind-blown trees, it is as though physical communion is simply a part of the trek through the hills, like stopping to take a drink of cool, sweet water in the shade.
This is really where we all come from — it is no wonder that all has been fouled up in our modern, cushioned existence.
Crap my retirement comment is totally going to be tied into Keiths silly statement….feel the inner beotch return
@keith “Sometime, when you try hard enough, you manage to amuse me.”
No dear I don’t amuse you I flatter you and it warms your heart almost to a living place.
@ Welmer
And if you can catch a girl, hot and thirsty at the line of wind-blown trees, it is as though physical communion is simply a part of the trek through the hills, like stopping to take a drink of cool, sweet water in the shade.
That whole thing was so much hotter than Roissy’s post. You’ll do well for yourself, sir. Mmmhmm.
Words = Sexy
And that is all.
@LIl
“Hmm, you need to work on your game. SRY. True story.”
There are plenty of women smart enough women to have appreciated that comeback.
Again, you are free to demonstrate a better comeback.
So far, nobody’s given an example.
aoefe–
I don’t recommend My Sister’s Keeper for dudes wanting to get action afterwards.
One of the things I find intriguing and charming about you is that you can actually give guys good advice on gaming girls. And do!
You have shown this many, many times by now.
What happened in your formation?
Palazzolo, 25, graduated on Mother’s Day from Rutgers University with a master’s degree in public policy and student loans exceeding $116,000. His payments will average about $800 a month.
Crap, and I want to do Public Policy…
Who pays $116K for a master’s in public policy?
It’s always possible that he used his student loans to prop up his lifestyles, or the amount being reported is the total amount of borrowed funds for undergrad and grad school. Hell, Rutgers is a frigging state school, so the grad school couldn’t have been that expensive…
@doug
I don’t think I’ve been taught, some other girlie was and I didn’t pay good attention. Are you up for a lesson?? Pretty please with brown sugar on top?
@aoefe “I flatter you”
You try so hard to get me to like you.
@doug
In regards to offering good gaming advice, I’m a chick and I know how we think. It’s only fair to share what I know about what chicks really dig if I’m getting knowledge of how men REALLY think. Besides I’m a giver (to quote roissy)
@keith
Oh Keith…(lauging out loud in REAL life)…honey you’re smitten and I think its cute.
Who pays for a Master’s Degree? Shouldn’t the school be giving you enough of a stipend to cover basic living costs?
@aoefe “honey you’re smitten and I think its cute.”
You’re pretty good at flattering yourself, also.
@keith
That was a burn…google it.
aoefe
Are you up for a lesson?? Pretty please with brown sugar on top?
Yes aoefe. Sure.
I just realized I might show up in Pupu’s stats…crap.
@aoefe
So you burn for me. That’s adorable.
@doug
K, I’m sitting up straight….I’m going to take really good notes.
@keith
Are you fricken serious? Dude.
”””””’David Alexander
Palazzolo, 25, graduated on Mother’s Day from Rutgers University with a master’s degree in public policy and student loans exceeding $116,000. His payments will average about $800 a month.
Crap, and I want to do Public Policy…
Who pays $116K for a master’s in public policy?
It’s always possible that he used his student loans to prop up his lifestyles, or the amount being reported is the total amount of borrowed funds for undergrad and grad school. Hell, Rutgers is a frigging state school, so the grad school couldn’t have been that expensive…””””””’
My sisters private school was 14k per year
That is 56
Plus
30 as someone suggested for masters.
86. but yea that was tuition.
So very difficult if you have student loans to then pay for kids. So really maybe it is good you didn’t make it through engineering you could have been on this blog with 2 kids an ex wife and child support student loans and living in a van down by the river.
@keith
You and LR would be perfect for each other, you realize that don’t you?
aoefe–
One of the things I find intriguing and charming about you is that you can actually give guys good advice on gaming girls. And do!
Let me just note that this is EXTREMELY unusual. It really is. Not just because Roissy says so.
In fact I can’t think of any other girls here who have.
That’s not entirely true. There are some who have here and there, hit and miss. I.e. I could find the good advice amidst their dross. But with you, when you venture it, it’s almost always good. On the gaming girls front.
@aoefe “Are you fricken serious?”
No, I’m not serious about you. I’m sorry if I led you along.
aoefe–
K, I’m sitting up straight….I’m going to take really good notes.
Little minx script flipper!!
You were meant to have offered to school me. And I accepted.
Shameless hussy!
@aoefe “You and LR would be perfect for each other, you realize that don’t you?”
No, she and Roissy were made for each other. He’s totally pining for her on his blog.
@keith
Whaaaat you’re not serious about me? What the hell! You have me salivating here, I dream about you at night and I’ve pictured our wedding. I was going to be a born again virgin for you. You are pure alpha man, pure alpha.
@doug
I’m even wearing pony tails today, perfect school girl. 🙂
Teach on good teacher.
my favorite sexy position for sex is to invite this guy:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hE0TRpE-p8U/R1CAzqfDGtI/AAAAAAAAAlU/0CyLsBU_aOU/s1600-R/todd+morgan1.jpg
for a threesome with my gf. he fucks her while i watch, after he comes on her face i lick it off and we all have an incredible orgasm. she remembers it forever.
i strongly recommend this option!
@aoefe
“I dream about you at night and I’ve pictured our wedding. I was going to be a born again virgin for you.”
Good, then you can wear white. Keep the weight down, though. White makes things look bigger.
“You are pure alpha man, pure alpha.”
Ain’t nothin’ pure about this alpha.
@keith – “Ain’t nothin’ pure about this alpha.”
That was the closest thing to hot you’ve said all night. Don’t let it go to either head.
Keith–
Ain’t nothin’ pure about this alpha.
gag. chortle.
Guffaw.
@aoefe “Don’t let it go to either head.”
My head’s on your mind. Either one.
@keith
Ya should have quit while you were a ‘head’.
I don’t know aoefe is getting hot. Cool thanks keith.
Aoefe now shut the fuck up and get in the corner for an hour.
aoefe–
I’m even wearing pony tails today, perfect school girl.
I shall require a pic.
By tomorrow.
On your blog.
Hotness.
@aoefe
Quitters never get “a head.”
@keith
We can all see you don’t quit (even when you should). And if you want head don’t let me stop you.
I find it very interesting that you choose to ignore my option/scenario even though it’s the hottest!
And what exactly does that say about YOU?
I’m even wearing pony tails today, perfect school girl.
You know, that only works for pretty submissives.
@doug
Your wish is my command Doug Draper.
@DA
Awwwww, you need attention do you? K, what do you need young man? A mistress to whip you into a frenzy of apology? Kneel!
Selenium
Now I get it. Your “girlfriend” has a prominent adams apple and is saving up money for some re-assignment surgery.
aoefe–
Awwwww, you need attention do you? K, what do you need young man? A mistress to whip you into a frenzy of apology? Kneel!
I LOVE you letting loose with your need based knowledge.
You GO aoefe!
Hotness.
Kneel!
I kneel before nobody…
@doug
I seem to have silenced both annoyances…. 🙂
Crap spoke too soon.
@DA
I know, I know…you have your own church… we got it.
Wow. My life is suddenly very boring…at least I have a few fantasies from which to draw upon now. The graveyard…excellent…something once scary, now not as frightening!
Anonymous
If that is for you your natural screen name, you were boring a long time before tonight.
I know, I know…you have your own church… we got it.
L’eglise, c’est moi.
J@DA
Je ne parle pas français either c’est vous or without you
checking back in.
before saying.
good night all.
@doug
I’m sorry I can’t wait any longer for the lesson, I’m going to bed, pretty sure I’ve out stayed my welcome tonight anyways – thank you all for being patient with my inability to shut the heck up. Oh and I’ve put several pony pics up for you, I often wear my hear like this.
he he he its all good. I was trying nuke pussy from orbit. Oh well 🙂 got to check if a woman can go against her instincts to go with yours. Divorce court would be slightly tougher than this.
I don’t usually build rapore I go for cave game that’s it. No talking about feelings shit like that. No waiting 5 months to close deal.
”””””””’Rum
Anonymous
If that is for you your natural screen name, you were boring a long time before tonight.”””””””””
Funny that people cannot imagine a life fully lived.
Note: Do not try this [sex on a bear rug] during her period unless you have killed and bagged a red furred bear.
=== And handle that red wine with care
Roissy, has MYSTERY been in your shower??
http://roissy.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/img_0405.jpg?w=500&h=375
[classic car interior sex] Bonus: Beep the horn with her backside at the moment of climax.
=== Or yodel
http://www.yodelcourse.com/media/yodelcnn.mov
Or both.
Maurice “mile high club didn’t make the cut. i guess that’s too commonplace these days.”
=== semi-related: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=284_1246496562
Snatch Magnet “The Dumpster Dragon…”
=== Ah, yes. The romantic aroma of rotting fish in summer. Peter would love it.
Gunslingergregi “Like you just saved your woman from getting eaten by a lion by stabbing it in throat with a ginsu knife.”
===Happened to me twice. With the real article. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginsu_knife
Fucking lions don’t fuck with me anymore.
Lady Raine: “Then again, I’m disgusted by PDA’s with couples too.”
=== Yes, electronic gizmos should just not be involved in threesomes. At least until The Singularity.
Racer X “more women have bestiality fantasies than would care to admit.”
=== Yeah, but when you look closeley you find that they’re only turned on by animals that have social proof.
Apparently it worked not instant but worked he he he
Good Girl Aoefe 🙂
raiders of the lost troll:
I kneel before nobody…
this is not true. you kneel before your fears.
Imagine how strong a woman has to be to go against society norms of always supposed to fuck the man over in case of a problem or a vag tingl. She has to fight years of subliminal media implementation of thoughts that are not in her best interest. The man is never supposed to tell her what to do. The man is the enemy. Her friends will tell her how great it is in divorce. Family will tell her all the reasons she should get a divorce. Lawyers will tell her what she deserves. People will use the magic word “carreer” Everyone will say for the children.
She has to be able to say fuck you all to view the man as a human being and to look out consistantly for his interests which in turn will more than likely translate into having looked out for her interests.
lol james yea I never got to fight an animal. Except for a couple of big fucking pit bulls one night just yelled at em though and they ran off along with the dude I was walking with. I am like doesn’t he know they usually chase down prey.
you kneel before your fears.
And sadly, you kneel before pussy.
Half of what makes this blog so great is the charged banter, and well-crafted personas of its readers, providing perpetual material. It’s as if the blog itself is a strange symbiotic organism. Top notch.
DA:
you kneel before pussy too….actually, you kneel before your hand, but they serve the same function
”””””””roissy
raiders of the lost troll:””””””””
I don’t give a dam I am still laughing at this one.
Gunslingergregi needs to shut the fuck up. He ruins threads and breaks the flow of conversation.
Post one or two comments, and everything will still be fine. People will still listen to what you have to say.
As of 5 minutes ago; fucking my little girl while she’s on speakerphone with her mom, and three cousins.
Maybe I be the first one to call bullshit on everything xsplat says?
Like you know, I´d love it to be true, I do enjoy his comments, but it sounds so over the top.
And by the way, how are these suggestions helpful? It´s supposed to be natural, if you go to the cemetery just to try what roissy said, wouldn´t you get nervous? I need go be relaxed to fuck well.
But that´s just me.
Spandrell, I’ll second Poetry of Flesh’s comment:
I’m rather amused that my sex life is apparently so fantastical as to be unbelievable. I apologize that my comment offended your sense of reality so.
At least my life is an endless parade of over the top moments.
What’s yours like?
I guess mine is better. And its no accident.
@ roissy
(Note: You may need to live in the Northeast to find these kinds of cemeteries)
Savannah, Georgia, spits on you for this comment. And New Orleans just dumped a bucket of street sludge on your head.
OK, so maybe Rebs couldn’t build railroads or factories. But those boys could build a mean cemetery.
Bonaventure alone is worth a trip to Savannah.
And Spandrell, why the hell would you be nervous in a cemetary?
I think you don’t get what alpha means. It means you define the rules.
Its a risky life. Jail becomes a real risk. As does STDs, knifings by jealous mates, etc. Its a life of choosing your own way.
Maybe you’re right that it’s out of your realm.
@ spandrell
I need [t]o be relaxed to fuck well.
I hope you’re sixteen or younger.
Me personally, I need to fuck well to be relaxed.
Its a risky life. Jail becomes a real risk. As does STDs, knifings by jealous mates, etc. Its a life of choosing your own way.
I don’t doubt xsplat’s stories. In fact, not many of them are anywhere near “the top”, much less over it.
But with this most recent “risk of jail” comment, he has got me wondering exactly what he’s doing, expatting around over there in ‘nesia.
poxy- my life is mostly straight…ish. It’s just that risks get taken.
And poxy – I have at least one near and over the top story.
In the middle of the street, the girl in a hyper-mini skirt and no panties, her palms touching pavement. Two people rounding the corner, and two security guards watching from the other end of the street. One block from my residence.
Does it get any better?
you kneel before pussy too….actually, you kneel before your hand, but they serve the same function
One could argue that going through the entire process of learning game in order to secure an orgasm is basically kneeling before pussy and basically catering to her whims and doing what she wants to get access to her…
These are good.
With the exception of the bearskin rug, which is a deadly one-two punch of cliché and try-hard. If she gets aroused there, it’s despite the setting.
Maybe maybe maybe if you’re in, like, Telluride or Aspen or some shit.
–
Since I’m too lazy to construct situations ahead of time, I prefer “sexy sex” that creates itself.
One favorite moment:
I was with my at-the-time-long-distance beloved in a swank downtown San Francisco hotel** on one of the two days of the year that feature fogless sunshine in that (literally) benighted city.
Room facing west.
Sun streaming through the window, casting ironically coquettish shadows of our bodies dancing in an ecstatic state of trance.
“On top,” I said.
She did as she was told.
I expertly manipulated her so that she was exactly perpendicular to the sun’s rays. Lesser men would need a sextant to equal my awesome degree (heh! degree!) of precision.
Her perfect hourglass silhouette undulated in primal rhythms on the wall, hair flying in ecstatic throes, as I grabbed the camera and snapped several immortal pictures of her “shadow dance”.
The perfection of it all was so perfectly perfect that burlesque dancers behind gossamer screens all over Paris could be heard weeping with envy and resignation.
Indeed.
Oh shit, I forgot the footnote.
**We were in a swank downtown hotel not on any pretense of romance, but, rather, because I was living in my car at the time. True story.
In the middle of the street, the girl in a hyper-mini skirt and no panties, her palms touching pavement. Two people rounding the corner, and two security guards watching from the other end of the street. One block from my residence.
I like.
You’re giving me Daytona Beach flashbacks. Stop it. Or, yeah, don’t.
The weirdest thing about things like this?
– No problem if you’re alone.
– No problem if you’re in a big crowd. (In the old days of “orange crush” in Savannah GA, about five thousand people would be reenacting your scene in the same street at the same time.
But,
– Only a problem if you’re in the vicinity of a small-to-medium handful of self righteous douchebags.
I’ve got more material if you need it. And working on new material.
@ Billare
Gunslingergregi needs to shut the fuck up. He ruins threads and breaks the flow of conversation.
You misspelled “fuck some shit up”.
And, congratulations on demonstrating a complete misunderstanding not only of normal human badinage, but also of basic pickup skills.
must…not…destroy…perfectly…autistically…linear…quality…of…conversation…
might…get…cooties…
–
@ DA
going through the entire process of learning game in order to secure an orgasm
And there it is. Your problem, encapsulated.
If the orgasm is your only goal, then, yeah, don’t bother. Stay in your basement. If you get bored, try some variety, like cumming on the carpet and seeing whether you can walk barefoot across the dried starchy shag without giggling.
There are so many more things between the meeting and the orgasm than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
I’m even wearing pony tails today, perfect school girl.
Make sure you upload the pics to the roissy thread entitled “female submission photos”.
Sexy sex positions? More like “Sexy sex locations”. Oh well, three things come to mind:
1. Forty-year old cars turn chicks on? I find that ’60s and ’70s cars look antiquated compared with modern cars. (But then that could be me.)
2. The Cemetary? There’s a South Park gag in there. You know, necr-.
3. “Roll her over again like you are two rutting sea lions.”
Should read:
“Roll her over again like you are two rooting sea lions.”
(A/NZ gag) 😉
@ Gil: I once made the mistake of saying “root that thing on both sides” to an australian kid trying to solve a math equation. Heh.
“Spandrell:
“Maybe I be the first one to call bullshit on everything xsplat says?
Like you know, I´d love it to be true, I do enjoy his comments, but it sounds so over the top.”
It’s the internet. Never concern yourself with the truth or falsity of comments about someone’s own life.
The Keith flirtations were cringeworthy. Dude, Aoefe and Lilgirl were toying with you. No biggie, lesson learned: don’t flirt with girls who aren’t showing signs of attraction. It just gets hostile and funny in a bad way.
I still insist that in a coed type of environment, Gunsligner would be the sneaky fuck to keep an eye on. He’s got that good natured, unpolished, don’t-give-a-fuck redneck charm that I’ve seen win the day on more than one occasion.
And sadly, you kneel before pussy.
DA’s got a valid point here, and Style made the same one in The Game. At the end of the day we are kneeling before pussy.
@pa – ” Gunsligner would be the sneaky fuck to keep an eye on. He’s got that good natured, unpolished, don’t-give-a-fuck redneck charm that I’ve seen win the day on more than one occasion.”
Absolutely Tootely about Gunny!
Oh and Keith you were a good sport – you made my night. 🙂
Off to the trenches.
At the end of the day we are kneeling before pussy.
Sex.
The reason life exists.
Reproduction.
The way life continues.
This is survival.
Mating rituals.
Don’t pretend that you didn’t come out of a woman, screaming, covered in shit and blood. Don’t pretend that you are somehow better than that. Remember where you come from.
The concept of self is a myth. You are driven by genetic impetus, by your environment and your social drives. Anything beyond that is spiritual in nature — unproveable by science — and yet all major religions ‘kneel to pussy’. The reason for the heights of pleasure is to ‘kneel to pussy’.
Not acknowledging that all that drives you is rooted in kneeling to pussy is rejecting your humanity and your nature. You are kneeling to false pride and self-destruction.
DA’s got a valid point here, and Style made the same one in The Game. At the end of the day we are kneeling before pussy.
personally, i have no problem kneeling for before pussy… and sometimes i stand before it, hover over it, or let it ride me. it’s all worth it because eventually pussy kneels before me so i can finish all over its smiling face.
aoefe
@keith
That said Keith you’re fun to make fun of, in a good way. 🙂
You dirty bitch.
That’s brutal. totally fucking brutal
ouch.
you need a beatin’ lol
Oh and Keith you were a good sport – you made my night.
Geez, finishing off by killing him with condescending kindness? You are truly cruel, like a cat toying with a mouse or a child pulling wings off a fly. 🙂 Keith, you need to read through the Roissy archives and brush up on some game!
“We’re the most brutal band in the world and that’s the most fucking brutal thing I’ve ever seen”
*Nathan Explosion voice*
fucking 1993 html
@PA”It just gets hostile and funny in a bad way.”
You just described this whole blog.
@Joe “Keith, you need to read through the Roissy archives and brush up on some game!”
1. She felt impelled to address me hours after our back-and-forth.
2. She was thinking about me when she got up this morning.
I keep pointing out that her actions demonstrate my higher value.
This is just the ultimate shit-testing.
She feels so much tension because she feels this irresistible attraction to me, and that would cause so much social disapproval within this group.
Around these parts, I’m the ultimate rebel betaboy.
[editor: you don’t say!]
“Keith:
It’s the internet. Never concern yourself with the truth or falsity of comments about someone’s own life.”
People are trying to learn something here. If I wanted some porn novel fiction I´d read something written by a female, could get some clues from it.
At list roissy`s writings are believable.
The G´s different though. He´s beyond truth or falseness.
@”[editor: you don’t say!]”
I didn’t, but the cleverness of your edit amuses me.
on July 14, 2009 at 4:23 am Billare
Gunslingergregi needs to shut the fuck up. He ruins threads and breaks the flow of conversation.
Ok billare you can suck my dick.
Yea PA when runing game got to make sure to actually go for fuckclose. Which I already did on aoefes site and it was not rebuffed.
So yea run game but don’t be like the dude that spent 2 years validating my ex wifes ego online and then only got one night of sexy time out of it. lol
You got to get the sexy time early to see if your sexually compatible. Dude got ahold of a fully trained woman and didn’t know what the fuck to do he he he
Irritating but the ex still has my name I think another thing woman should auto lose is the guys name. Get divorced womans name needs to change. Some bitch running around trying to front that she came from my family or under my protection. Not anymore.
@ guns
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/the-sexiest-sex-positions/#comment-105094
word
””””””””””aoefe
@doug
I’m sorry I can’t wait any longer for the lesson, I’m going to bed, pretty sure I’ve out stayed my welcome tonight anyways – thank you all for being patient with my inability to shut the heck up. Oh and I’ve put several pony pics up for you, I often wear my hear like this.
”””””””””””””””””
And this is something a good woman can provide that you can’t put a price on beyond the sex.
Grace in the face of extreme adversity.
Beautiful really.
I re-read the exchange above, and I have to admit that… I totally fucking rock. Peace.
[editor: goddamn you are an autistic tard. make yourself useful and count up some toothpicks.]
@Epoxy – “Make sure you upload the pics to the roissy thread entitled “female submission photos”
Whaaa? There are female submissive photos here? Cool! 😉
@ editor: “goddamn”
I displayed state control and amused mastery throughout.
And she was the one who came back to me the enxt morning. She couldn’t resist.
[editor: right, keep telling yourself that, rainman. in the meantime, i should inform you that evidence is mounting you are a woman posing as a beta.]
And, Mr. Ed, let’s not forget your own commandment:
“XI. Be irrationally self-confident
No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.”
@Ed: If you don’t like my behavior, then you really hate yourself.
@Roissy and Keith
I’m thinking he might be a woman now that you point that out. His comebacks are terrible, we women are not terribly adept at turning the comic phrase. I think its a woman who comments already comments here as a woman truth be told. Get out of your closet keith and put on some pretty panties.
Oh and Keith you are doing a fantastic job of being irrationally self-confident – keep up the good work! (please read with just a tad of sarcasm please and thank you)
Oh and keeping with the thread I stumbled on this link. Great sex? May not be the position afterall.
http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/family-relationships/blog/joseyvogels/4451/the-secret-to-great-sex
Does it count if I can do this but only to/with fat/ugly women?
hey these i pritty gd i must say i would probly fall in luv wid sum1 who came up wid des lmao… bt yh the clit dose ned some luvin 2 … tho ive probs ruined it 4 myself if a guy dose n e f these with me as i’ll knw wots commin lol!!!
Cemetery Sex.
Is nicest in the daytime, underneath a tree with heavy growth whose branches reach to the ground.
You come harder when you overhear families with little children wander to graves nearby.
It’s extremely hot when you both are standing up, behind a hill, her sun dress is hitched, and she’s stradling you standing, with her arms wrapped around your neck for support…
And custodian crews are mowing a few hundred yards around the bend just out of eyesight.
You don’t come as hard due to the exertion but the psychological factor is priceless.
It can make for exquisite “breakup sex”
NB: It is possible to strain your back this way.
Trust me.
It can hurt later.
The memories are priceless though.
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