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Girls And Politics

What do you do when a girl you are gaming brings up the subject of politics? Politics and religion are conversational buzzkills, no doubt, but sometimes when a girl is getting to know you she’ll be curious where you stand on political and religious matters. Usually, these are weird, emotionally unbalanced, nerdy girls who think that compatibility means you’re voting for her candidate.

One option is glib evasiveness. “Who am I voting for? I’m writing in Ron Jeremy. He’s a self-made man who knows that actions speak louder than words. That’s what this country needs right now — hard and fast.” If your date is a normal girl she’ll grasp your subcommunication and laugh a little while you change the subject.

Some guys who consider themselves inner game gurus would tell you to stay true to yourself and answer girls candidly when they ask questions about your politics. In this way, you screen out girls whose beliefs violate your manly principles. How noble. This strategy fails when EVERY girl of fuckable age shares the same political ideology. Here in DC, if you aren’t a flaming liberal, you’ll wind up screening out all your dates and living like a celibate hermit. (9% voted for Bush in the last election. 1% of those were girls. 1% of those girls were unmarried.) But at least you and your hand will have the satisfaction of sticking by your principles. This is lipstick on a pig game; the outcome sucks but you dressed it up real purty for yourself.

What I find peculiar about people who live in DC, and particularly the single girls of this fine City in the Abyss, is their oblivious penchant to assume you share their politics and think exactly like them. For a bunch of SWPLs that speak so eloquently of diversity and tolerance they have a hard time putting their principles into practice. It’s dehumanizing groupthink, but that’s always been a key ingredient of any quasi-religious revival. The upside is that you don’t get asked your politics too often, since they are assumed. Until election years roll around…

During the last fevered election, I had a number of dates who pressed me for my political beliefs. The matter was of utmost importance to them, or so they claimed. I used to evade. But that sometimes sounded wishy-washy. I tried blatantly lying to the girls I didn’t want as long term prospects. That worked, but then I had to deal with listening to them drone on and on about some pet lefty cause like the superiority of Europe over America or the evils of the wrong kind of white people. I got my revenge the morning after when I turned to look at her, brushed aside a wisp of hair, and tenderly whispered in her ear “By the way, remember that conversation about politics we were having yesterday? Well, I’m a huge fan of the Second Amendment. I love guns.” You never saw such a Hallmark moment.

Finally, I switched to telling them the truth, no hedging or excusing.

“I’m a libertine capitalist. I understand the limits that human nature places on ideology. Politics is not a religion substitute for me, so it doesn’t have much importance in my life. I don’t even vote.”

The trick here is I’ve avoided the typical political platitudes, code words, and shibboleths that would trigger her inquisition reflex. I’ve been truthful in a disarmingly eccentric way; one that naturally leads the discussion away from political posturing into more fruitful avenues of discussion. The phrase “human nature” can lead straight into a conversation about “social dynamics”, and then onto “girls have dirtier minds than guys”. Now we’re cooking with gas!

If a girl asks which party you are registered with, tell her “Independent”. If you’re Republican, you telling her that carries too much baggage, true or not. Chicks dig mavericks. If you’re to the right of Genghis Khan, you don’t have to worry about disagreeing with her — most girls get turned on when a guy is unafraid to say what he means — but you don’t want to be argumentative, either. Arguing will kill the sexytime mood right quick. State your beliefs with conviction, then segue into a different topic. Don’t linger on politics like some Daily Kos junkie arguing the minutiae of what is ultimately bullshit in the grand scheme of things. Keep it vague and philosophically Zen-like. If she insists on knowing more about your opinion of preemptive warfare or the Fairness Doctrine, just hold up your hand and announce you are changing the subject because politics bores you, and it’s a horrible way to get to know someone.

Telling a DC replicant woman you don’t vote is like telling her you led a coup in the Congo to overthrow the local despot. She will be flabbergasted… and intrigued. Such a reaction is only possible when your god is your political party.

Them and us, always and forever…

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