Reader JB emailed me with a valuable observation about the effectiveness of using generalizations as a game tactic. He read my post “Dread” where I explain the best ways to train your girlfriend so that you maximize love output and minimize shit test incitement:
Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.
JB wrote:
When I read this I fucking almost spit up my mouthful of coffee. Funny because it’s true. Have you written anything about the powerful effect generalization has on the female psyche? I have used the ‘you’re just like every other girl in this city’ one and BANG!
No matter who the girl, no matter the age…she stops cold and finds herself waiting for what I’m going to say next.Good stuff, keep it up.
Yes, it’s true. Throwing a generalization in the face of a girl you are gaming by accusing her of being “just like all the rest” is a powerful qualification tactic. It will send her into paroxysms of indignation and self-doubt as she works hard to regain your approval.
Maxim #33: NO girl wants to be thought she isn’t a special little snowflake.
Use this thermal exhaust port of female psychology to your advantage. But be careful how you deploy the generalization bomb — its mindfuck megatonnage can blow up chicks’ heads like scanners. There are two ways to laser-guide a generalization straight into the beaver bunker.
- Exasperation. See the example above. Can be useful in pickup as well as relationship management — for instance, after she’s started acting up and attempted to find your soft underbelly. In pickup parlance, this would be during the M2F attraction phase. Watch as she spins her wheels trying to prove her uniqueness.
- Reverse psychology. Right before you run a routine with her, like palm reading or astrological compatibility, tell her she’s probably like all the other girls in [insert city] and wouldn’t appreciate the deep and profound knowledge you are about to drop on her. If she says “What do you mean I’m like all the rest?!”, you reply “Tell me I’m wrong.”
I don’t just dispense advice, I explain *why* the advice works, stripping away the mystery and spirituality squid ink with the sandblaster of biomechanics, so you can see for yourself the predictability of the human attraction algorithm.
As I wrote in response to Clio in the comments section of this post:
here is what i think motivates the female will to believe that makeup is effective at hiding flaws from the precision guided instrument of men’s visual intake port:
the fear of the immutable.
if you’ll notice, women are the most outraged by the idea of evolutionary psychology and unchangeable genetic fate. that physical beauty should be so unalterable and at the same time so critical to a woman’s prospects for snagging an alpha male of her own sends shivers down her spine. if true, it means they cannot do much to improve their value on the open market. no educational attainment, no carreer success, no makeup, no exercise [to a point], no hob nobbing with the right people — nothing much matters but for the face they were given when mommy’s egg was fertilized by daddy’s swimmers.
yet, this is precisely how the sexual market works. and so, as the gears of the pretty lie machine clank and sputter to dispense more of its life-affirming self-delusions, the “social conditioning” brigade strikes out at the descending shroud of hopeless darkness.
Generalizations offend women in a way they do not offend men because they breach the perimeter ego defense and strike right at a woman’s core self-conception — her belief in herself as Princess On A Cloud Carried Aloft By Admiring Suitors. If it’s true that her genes account for nearly all her success or failure with the men she wants, then there isn’t much she can do to improve her chances to fulfill her deepest desires. If it’s true (and it is) that men value beauty above all else, then it is logically inescapable that she is, to an unsettling degree, interchangeable with any women who are at or above her level of physical attractiveness.
Women do not want to confront the unpleasant reality of upwardly immutable female sexual market value. (They can certainly go down in market value by bloating up or suffering a facial disfigurement.) Similarly, they do not want to admit they aren’t special. So they fight against it. They hide behind pretty little platitudes and try to correct your misperceptions to the contrary. Deep in the primitive ancestral part of her reptilian brain she fears, justifiably, that if she isn’t a unique creature in your eyes, you may be likely to leave her if a hotter woman blips your radar. FOR INNATE EVOLUTIONARILY MODULATED REASONS, SHE WANTS TO KNOW YOU SEE MORE IN HER THAN HER BEAUTY. You should leverage this female instinct to your benefit.
“So what else do you have going for you besides your beauty?”
If you are the one special suitor who wrings her princess cloud dry and sends her plummeting to earth with a well-timed generalization that belies her uniqueness, she will suddenly find, in violation of the courtship script she was so used to following, an inexplicable urge to seek *your* approval, and demonstrate for *you* how different she is from other women and how you just *have to* see that.
Then, my friend, you will be in the driver’s seat. Zoom zoom.
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