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Sex Talk

This post is also available in: German

Sex talk ranks up there with full body massages, cunnilingus, and 5,000 thread count bed sheets as an aphrodisiac for women. If you have a woman already into you through your game and personal attributes, the deft deployment of sex talk will boost her attraction for you into the stratosphere. A nimble tongue is like mental lube to a woman, opening her up for the physical act to follow. Properly delivered lines of descriptive eroticism whispered into her ear can turn her into a torrid gushing avalanche of desire.

The degree of difference between what wordplay stimulation will do to a woman’s sexual arousal and a man’s couldn’t be more stark. While men enjoy a marginal increase in pleasure listening to a woman moan and talk dirty during sex, women become absolutely apoplectic with lust when you describe the sexual tension in explicit detail. You can literally make a woman’s neck hair stand on end by telling her what you are about to do to her. (Note: If she is a pretentious artsy chick who never misses a First Friday at the R Street art galleries and takes great pains to display the right magazines on her coffee table, the more multisyllable and French words you will have to use. Brush up on your euphemisms. Smart chicks dig euphemisms.)

Of course, most men don’t do this because 1) it’s time away from actual fucking, 2) it seems kinda gay, and 3) they are not as verbally oriented as women and therefore don’t see the point in it. But catering to a woman’s interests doesn’t always have to entail sacrifice; sometimes it is a source of power. Once you understand that women respond wildly to a small investment of your time and effort arousing her with erotic commentary, you will use this to your advantage to have her hooked on you like a drug.

Speaking of getting a woman addicted to you, the Big Three things you can do in the bedroom, in order of effectiveness, that will have her thinking of you while stroking the zucchini in the supermarket are:

  1. Squirting orgasms. This is the holy grail of sexual satisfaction. Learn to bring a woman to leg-trembling ecstasy by making her ejaculate with your fingers and she will cling to you like a baby chimpanzee on its mother’s back.
  2. Regular orgasms. Not as nerve-frying or psychologically-imprinting as the squirting variety, but still effective, because if the studies are to be believed the majority of women don’t experience them with their men.
  3. Sex Talk. Start reading some romance novels and incorporate the purple prose into your end game seduction routine.

Sex talk doesn’t have to be long-winded. What’s important is the vivid detail in what you say and the tone of voice you use to say it. Try to be as thorough in your erotic monologues as possible. Say it with a low, slow, gravelly voice very close to her left ear. Breathe heavily so that she feels the hot air on her skin. Here is an example of something I said to a girl which verbally stimulated her during a moment of intimacy:

How does it feel thinking about my hand slowly sliding down your belly, over the thatch of your pubic mound, and prying apart your cleft to expose your hot, wet, crimson lips waiting to be violently penetrated…

She gasped and said “Wow, that’s kind of a turn-on!”. Her wetness confirmed her words.

As mentioned above, for pretentious yuppie chicks you will want to substitute euphemisms for crass four letter words, especially if you are banging an art student or a DJ groupie. This makes whatever you say sound “literary”. For example, instead of saying this:

I’m gonna fuck your pussy with my rock hard cock and cum all over your face.

Say this:

I’m gonna pierce your womanhood with my throbbing turgid essence and unleash torrents of hot, sticky, demon seed all over your face.

Crass four letter words and painful hair-pulling are acceptable if you’re fucking a lawyer. In fact, they’re required.  

PS: this was a meta-post for the ladies.


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