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Leftie Girls Are Easy

This article about looking for love at an Obama political rally made me laugh.

 “You are likely to have similar political views, and those often cross into other things that aren’t politically affiliated,” says Colleen Kluttz, a 29-year-old TV producer who’s hitting the event tonight if work allows.

I suppose it makes intuitive sense to a politics-drenched activist like Colleen that your views on the estate tax or troop withdrawal would define who you are as a person in all areas of life, but in my experience a girl’s political opinions have zero correlation to how well we’ll get along as a lovemaking couple.  About the only time it matters is when… we’re discussing politics.

The one exception is her view on abortion, which is more religious in nature than political.  I would never bareback it with a pro-life chick.

“It [politics] will give you something to talk about. It gives you a reason to have conversations that aren’t just about yourself.”

Let me tell you, if you are discussing politics with your date, no matter how sympatico you both are, you won’t be getting laid.  The tedious, dreary world of politics engages her logical mind when you want to do exactly the opposite.  If she’s the type that can’t take a breather from braying about this or that political pet cause then she has control issues you want to avoid.

And no two people are 100% in agreement on every issue.  You spend an hour talking politics and there is bound to come up a disagreement over some by-line in the appropriations bill that kills the sexytime mood.

But what kind of guy are you going to find at an Obama rally?

“A socially conscious liberal – probably a well-dressed, well-groomed hipster,” Kluttz says.

If you want to bang this girl, your dedication to world peace won’t be enough.  You had better dress well, too.

Lindsay Schaeffer, 25, may even skip the rally for the nighttime bash.

“Look, you never meet good guys in a bar,” she reasons. “Something like this naturally weeds out the losers for you. You aren’t going to get some pickup artist at a political after-party.”

Keep telling yourself that, Lindsay.  Heh heh heh.

Every guy in the world is looking for the pickup.  Some are just more artistic in the execution than others.

One ardent Obama supporter (who declined to give his name because he works in politics) says he’ll attend both the rally and the after-party, and he doesn’t expect to be going home alone.

He’s confident for a reason.

“Let’s face it: Leftie girls are easy,” he says.

This is the conventional wisdom about leftwing girls.  When I was in college I joined both the College Democrats and the College Republicans to meet girls.  I altered or concealed my views as needed when it was personally advantageous and helped toward my goal of hooking up.  My friends and I agreed at the time with the commonly-held assumption that the Dem girls were good to go, while the Repub girls were prettier and more “well-kept”.

I learned that the conventional wisdom is onto something, but for the wrong reasons.  A lot of the leftie girls came from broken families.  Dads who vamoose make girls who are loose.  The rightie girls held out longer but when the floodgates finally opened their sexual appetites poured forth just as voraciously as their sluttier leftie sisters, if not moreso.

As for who was prettier, if I subtracted the butch lesbians from the Dem ranks and the fashion queens from the Repub ranks, I didn’t notice much daylight between the two groups of girls.  Of course, this was college, a time of life when most girls look bangable as long as they stay slim.  I think as women age the Republicans tend to stay hotter longer because of their no-nonsense fastidiousness about catering to men’s desires.


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