This post is also available in: English
Did this reader succeed in passing the classic “let’s go meet X guy friend!” shit test from a girl he likes?
I would appreciate your take on how I handled a massive test of game. Feel free to post this email if you’d like.
Okay She’s 22 years old, pre med student. A solid HB9, she is at her absolute peak of SMV and with her intelligence and flawless body she’s well aware of this fact. I’m 32 and scored myself 20 on the Market Value Test.
I got her number at a bar on a Wednesday night by navigating a maelstrom of shit tests and dropping a well timed laser guided neg:
Me: (sit up in the chair lock eyes with her pause for a beat, then let out a dismissive chortle)
Her: (fully engaged now) What?
Me: Do you think you have the right disposition to be a pediatrician?
Her: (snaps up in her chair, turns towards me, leans in) What does that mean!?
Had 30 more minutes of conversation and get her number. She is almost sitting in my chair now, tons of interest. Right as she is leaning in and hanging on my words, with her hand on my knee, I stand up and tell her that I have to leave, but that she should text me for a drink sometime.
Here is where the fun starts. The next night (Thursday) she texts me asking if I’m out. I happened to be at a bar with friends, told her where I was and she immediately texts back that she was planning on heading there soon with her friends.
She shows up. Waves of attention surround her. She has 2 beta orbiters and another girl in tow, and every bar tender/bouncer/bar back guy in the bar knows her and instantly comes up and showers her with their beta affection. I ignore her presence and engage my group. She finally comes over and to say hello, she introduces me to her entourage. Now at this moment the group I came with are all leaving. They are saying their goodbye’s and of course I’m planning on staying a little longer. It’s important to note that the bar has thinned out at this point, only a handful of small intimate groups and pairs of people remain. I immediately ingratiate myself into her group, chatting up the chumps and putting them at ease, then shifting my focusing on her girlfriend and giving her lots of attention.
Now she drops a bomb on me:
She interrupts her friend mid sentence who was talking to me and says: “So glad you’re out!” Then addressing the whole group she says: “Oh, we have to go upstairs and say hi to (dude bartender)!” Everyone immediately agrees with their princess and they begin to follow (we were all standing during this conversation). The first thing I knew was that there was no way I was following her up there. I simply said nothing gave her my best bemused smirk and watched them walk up the stairs. I took a deliberate sip of my beer and caught her looking back to see that I wasn’t going to follow her up there. Now what? I can’t go upstairs and the bar is mostly empty and the groups of people would not be open to new people it’s too casual. I could sit at the bar and talk to the bartender, but she already was talking with him and he’s part of her crew. So, I just paid my bill and casually left.
I got a text from her 30 minutes later:
Her: (my name)!
Her: Come find me
Me: (20 minutes later) Next time
So, I know I played it good enough because she sent me a text and asked me out on Saturday evening saying that her plans fell through and she had extra tickets to a comedy show. I told her I had dinner plans (which I did with another girl). Against my better judgement I said I could meet her there after my dinner plans. And she went home with me after. (alpha smirk) I survived what was by far the hardest shit-testing-est girl I’ve ever encountered.
How else could I have handled that night? I wanted to show her that she has no control over what I’m doing and I did the best I could, but actually she did force me to do something I didn’t want to do. Because I didn’t want to leave. Truthfully I was enjoying her little group and it was fun conversation. But under the circumstances I didn’t see another out. Would love to hear your wise opinion.
A lot going on here, and not all of it relates to the question you asked.
First, if you banged her, (which you implied), why do you care about getting feedback on your game? You won. Enjoy it. Obviously, you did enough right for any minor missteps to not matter.
Second, the shit test she subjected you to was not, in my considered opinion, all that tough. You want a tough shit test? How about when a girl tells you right off the bat you shouldn’t have even imagined she was a remote possibility for you? Yes, this has happened to me. I said “Welp, there goes my in with your cute friend”. Making lemonade outta lemons, braheem…
Third, if your buddies left, and her friends all followed her upstairs to party with the bartender, why would you want to stay? Because you were having a fun time with them. Ok, if that’s the case, then you wouldn’t have given it a second thought about tagging along upstairs. But you did. Which means you had more on your mind than just the “fun” you were supposedly having. You wanted her alone, and other men didn’t figure into that equation. Be honest with yourself.
With your friends gone, and her chummy with the bartender and surrounded by her group of sycophants, I think you played the safe bet by jetting. Unless your social skills are excellent and you are an extrovert who can rapidly win over a new group and potential male competitors, the risk of getting “betatized” as the striving outsider to a small group of cackling insiders is too great. Hovering is the kiss of death for any courtship escalation.
However, contrary to the above judgment, it appears this girl liked you well enough before the night even began, and you could have stayed around longer without seriously risking any loss of her attraction. When she interrupted your conversation with her friend, that was a major tell (an IOI) that her interest was heating up.
Practically speaking, the next time something like this happens, and you find yourself torn between leaving a venue when you don’t want to and sticking around following a girl like a puppy dog, just tell your target that you’ll “catch up” with her in a bit. Then find someone else to talk with for a half hour before heading upstairs to continue with her what you had going on earlier in the night.