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Anti-Flake Tactic

This post is also available in: Englisch

Le Chateau and its guests have offered many battle plans for combating flakiness in young women. (I stress “young”, because older women with fewer options don’t knee-jerk resort to flaking as often as women in their attractiveness primes do.) Non sequitur game is a great method for dissuading women from flaking by switching their pursuit dynamic from chased to chaser. Trial texting game is effective at screening out girls who are more likely to flake on you. The archives abound with other techniques for dealing with, and dismantling the female impulse toward, flakiness.

Now a reader has offered another anti-flake tactic, and it is a good one.

Her: 24 year old half Finn, half French, internationally raised (diplo-brat?), a 7-8? (we’ve never met)
Me: 33

Met on okcupid (judge away, it’s great where I live), arranged a Friday evening first date, I get a text 30 mins before we’re to meet:

Her: Salut, i just got to my friends bday, u have to get up early, so maybe another time? Sunday perhaps?
Me: (next day at noon) Can’t! I’m busy tomorrow.
Me: (8 hours later) Sorry I was working. We can reschedule but you’d have to put forth the effort. Self-respecting men don’t play those early twenties games…
(I assumed I’d look bitter and never hear from her again. I didn’t care.)
Her: (on OKC the next morning) Hey, sorry about Friday, it was not very polite to cancel last minute, sorry.
I have a friend staying with me next week until the 21st, so I’m not sure when I’ll be available to meet up.
Have a nice Sunday,
Me: (by text a few hours later) Hey, got your note. I’m not too busy to swing a drink today. Can you?
Her: (5 mins later) Am at [museum] now but free after that
Me: (45 mins later) Ok how’s this evening?
Her: (15 mins later) Great, tell me where and when and I’ll be there

A solid turnaround, I’d say.

Tight, my good sir, tight. You could call this “next day service” game, where you don’t respond to a foot-dragging, flaky woman until the next day. (Forget about the planned date; a woman who has flaked on you 30 minutes before a date does not anyway deserve your company should you manage to change her mind about meeting you at the originally scheduled time.)

A woman will not be able to resist her hamstery compulsion to perceive your status higher than she first judged if you make her sweat a little, or a lot, with a non-response when she is expecting a response, and with a non-spiteful or non-needy response when you do eventually respond to her.

There are only two acceptable and effective attitudes to cop with flaky chicks:

1. She is a lost cause, so any forward progress is merely icing on the cake that is your life, or

2. you assume the sale and handle her as if she really wants you and is just playing the brat for make benefit of her glorious ego.

The reader quoted above had an attitude that encompassed a bit of both. He was sufficiently unimpressed by her that he could afford to wait a day to respond to her flake, and when he did respond he did so with the confident, non-pussyfooting-around air of a man who assumed the flake just needed a little prodding.

Most flakes won’t go anywhere, and, assuming you maintain a full love life otherwise, that’s a good thing. A flaky woman has tipped you off that she is a specimen of poor character, and will, truer than not, eventually resolve herself into a pain in the ass. You’re better off screening out flakes quickly than dealing with them in perpetuity.

But anti-flake game will give you a shot to turn it around with a nontrivial number of flaky chicks. For such a low cost investment in your time and energy, it’s worth the attempt.


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