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I have found the perfect cologne: Armani Attitude
It’s got a manly earthy undertone with a powerful musk oxen finish. I like to spritz a little on my crotch. A man with genitals as regal as mine deserves the finest perfumes.
“Did you spray cologne down here?”
“I think you’ve answered that.”
“Well, it does smell pretty good.”
“A boner bouquet.”
I think I’m onto something. I’m going to market a crotch cologne called “Eau de Another Woman’s Vaj Juice On My Dick”. It’ll be like catnip to the ladies.