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Chateau Heartiste has featured snapshots of men executing flawless alpha male poses because these men are lessons to learn from if your goal is capturing the love of women (and the admiration of men). You should, as often as humanly possible, aspire to the alpha male body language aesthetic. Supplicating beta males and bitter feminists may not like it, but the following photos are what peak male performance looks like.

The curious reader wonders what qualifies as the best alpha male body language pose? I’ve culled some pics from the archives and consolidated them here in this post for you, Chateaulords, to determine which iconic alpha male pose is the one the God Emperor would assume, even when taking a dump.

First, a new addition: Michael Caine claiming ownership of a meat-stiffening minx. Note the direction of his gaze, the lean of his upper torso, the delightful choke-hold, and the nascent smirk.

cainesstable

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Next up: Prince Harry.

begone, peasant girl!

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Here’s Jason Stratham (in the ideal location for a man to be when he’s got a woman wrapped in his arms…back to a mirrored wall, surveying his kingdom).

alphabl

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The Brazilian Shitlord (photo cropped by press agents because he had his penis out to taunt the smelly participants at a feminism rally).

wait your turn, ladies

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Donald Trump, whose year leading a new American Revolution has provided a master class in various victorious alpha male poses.

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Steve McQueen, whom many women consider (as much as their hindbrains can take under consideration anything of a primal nature) the iconic coolasfuck jerkboy.

STEVE-McQUEEN-King-of-Cool-Photographs-by-John-Dominis-ATLAS-Gallery-yatzer-1

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Birthday Cat, because no matter how hot or bitchy or manipulative the girl, this cat keeps his cool.

The voting:

61 Responses to “Alpha Male Body Language Face-Off”

  1. mendo says:

    You really love Birthday Cat, eh?

    Always brings a smile to my face

    Like

    • GREG NIKOLIC says:

      Birthday Cat is the leading contender for alphadom. But — *Greg Nikolic raises finger* the only way to decide which one is the TRUE alpha male is to have an 8-way cage fight between the lot of them.

      Statham would seem to have even money to win, but I believe Michael Caine would be so Cockney-sly that he would cheat his way to victory. And since half of alphadom is all about cheating — shortcircuiting the confused female brain — I give the nod to Caine in the cage match.

      Like

  2. The Chrome Microphone says:

    “Statham”

    And Prince Harry loses automatically because that girl was talking around Harry, not to him

    Like

  3. Robert What? says:

    This is a tough one but I’ve always had a thing for Jason Stratham. In a … you know … manly way.

    Like

  4. Haven M. says:

    voted for harry but in retrospect they’re all pretty cool.

    but you know what, only Donald’s doing it without an adoring chick plastered on him. It’s sort of unfair, the comparison. Most of the dudes are being (posed in some?) with a girl and showing composure. They’re not shown alone in a crowd showing zfg. Well, not unfair but apples to oranges.

    We’ve seen trump with zero hover hand, girl in arm posture.

    Like

    • vfm#7634 says:

      Most of the dudes are being (posed in some?) with a girl and showing composure. They’re not shown alone in a crowd showing zfg.

      What about our dago friend undergoing the Feminasty Two Minutes Hate?

      Like

      • Haven M. says:

        yeah, brazillian bro is surrounded by harpies with a smile on his face. Can’t be more exposed than having your dick out.

        Like

  5. Lash says:

    I keep that pic in my phone gallery to send to a womyn who gets all shrieky and stupid because I’m failing to be an obedient beta. I’ll let you guys know what happens. Can’t wait.

    Like

  6. fightersword says:

    Gotta go with birthday cat. No other cat has done so much for us. He’s a hero

    Like

  7. prolier than thou says:

    With such photos how often is it the case that the subject is a bona fida Alpha Male, and how often is it that the photographer has captured them in a pose that either they or their editors decide (subconsciously or otherwise) that these are the poses that people want to see, because people want to believe that their celebrity gods and heroes are such men?

    [CH: i would only say in response to your question and how this all relates to the rules of the sexual market: it’s a difference without a distinction.]

    Like

  8. Wrong Side of History says:

    No Tsar Putin?

    Like

  9. […] Alpha Male Body Language Face-Off […]

    Like

  10. Jokah Macpherson says:

    Birthday cat definitely has strong inner game, since unlike most of the rest, he isn’t a prince or a movie star or a billionaire or anything. Lacking any external validation factors on which to hang his ego, it is quite impressive the way he is able to stand proud and aloof as if he nonetheless had them.

    Like

  11. PA says:

    Two facts:

    Trump’s body language puts lionesses in heat.

    Obama never displayed alpha body language. Peevish princeling posture is his max.

    [CH: “peevish princeling” aptly describes the gay mulatto. all snark, no substance.]

    Like

  12. Wrong Side of History says:

    Remember that stone faced alpha denying his woman a nibble of his ice cream on the jumbotron?

    I bet they’re still happily in love today.

    [CH: and if they’re not, i bet she remembers when they were in love like it was yesterday.]

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ironpusher says:

    Like

  14. mendo says:

    Since this is an alpha/beta post, word on the street is the Cruz is set to endorse Trump finally.

    Guess his conscious got to him.

    But it got me thinking how apoplectic and bat shit crazy Amanda “daddy” Carpenter must be right now.

    Once again, best election ever

    Like

    • Ripp says:

      Cruz just did endorse.

      I think The Donald campaign has some aces up their sleeve. And each week were going to see some masterful moves on the chessboard.

      Like

    • vfm#7634 says:

      Amanda’s vaj dried up after the “Leave Heidi the hell alone!” incident.

      Like

    • vfm#7634 says:

      Guess his conscious got to him.

      It may have been over the ICANN handover issue. Both Cruz and Trump are vehemently against it.

      Like

  15. Southern Man says:

    Caine, but it was a tough choice, the top three are a tight group.

    Like

  16. jeangray07 says:

    Is there anything more Alpha than deciding you’re going to be the next president, and then actually doing it? While effortlessly knocking out the entire Republican party in the process?

    [CH: and having the much younger beauty melania as a wife? no there is not anything more alpha than all that.]

    Like

  17. Ripp says:

    The Donald FTW. Relevant given the times.

    Like

    • mendo says:

      And that was after he had won the NH primary, his first of many to come.

      I’ll be taking the entire day off from work or working from home the day of the election to soak it all up.

      Like

  18. uh says:

    OT: Right Side Broadcasting’s pre-game show in Chester is a shitlord show. Kids in “adorable deplorable” shirts. Bros in tanktops calling out internet censorship. Some uber-Jew even name drops Soros as funding BLM and the Euro invasion.

    Like

  19. Ironpusher says:

    The following was published on Politico several months ago by journalist Tucker Carlson…….

    “About 15 years ago, I said something nasty on CNN about Donald Trump’s hair. I can’t now remember the context, assuming there was one. In any case, Trump saw it and left a message the next day.
    “It’s true you have better hair than I do,” Trump said matter-of-factly. “But I get more pussy than you do.” Click.”

    [CH: it’s really gratifying knowing that these trump anecdotes, and this zfg alpha facet of his personality, must drive thecunt clinton into a frenzy of impotent feminist grandma rage.
    and why does it drive grandma into a rage? because it reminds her of her cheating husband and her very very public humiliation.]

    Liked by 1 person

    • vfm#7634 says:

      must drive thecunt clinton into a frenzy of impotent feminist grandma rage.

      “Then why am I not 50 points ahead, you might ask?!”

      Like

    • Ironpusher says:

      Getting the slip from an old alpha cad yet again. Seizure Granny just can’t win.

      Like

  20. quixotic says:

    McQueen for the Win! Still the gold standard but damn Trump is alpha as fuck for 70 year old

    Here is a picture of young Henry Rollins being admired:

    I found the red pill almost 2 years ago. I can never give enough thanks to the anonymous men who helped me in my journey to truth.

    Anecdotal proof/endless thank you to CH:

    One time about a year and a half ago one of my plates was over hanging out when a few buddies showed up unannounced. We were all hanging in the garage drinking. One of my buddies snapped a picture I didn’t notice he had taken. He sent it to me later when he remembered. I will never forget the moment he texted me that picture. It was proof that the teachings expounded by CH and other PUAs were real and undeniable. Yeah I was dating several girls and flirting everywhere I went. Yes I was following the Sixteen Commandments of Poon and getting a major return on my investment in myself. Life was good.

    But that picture made the hairs stand up on my neck. The picture my friend took showed me laughing with one of my buddies. In the far background, not part of the conversation and at the moment unknown to me, my plate was watching me with intense admiration and desire. She had identical body language/eyes/facial expression as the girl in the rollins pic above. I was dumbstruck. And I was thankful. Thank you CH.

    Like

    • Sigma K says:

      Hey gave it all up when he shrilled against Emperor Trump.

      He’s just a wanna be SJW

      Liked by 1 person

    • whorefinder says:

      Rollins strikes me as a true head case—whenever he’s ranting, he’s got the crazy eyes, a la Elizabeth Warren or some true believer commie whacko or some suicide bomber right before show time.

      I think if he didn’t have his clear mental problems he’d be a shitlord. But he’s just a nut with a talent, as far as I can tell.

      Henry Rollins rape!

      Like

  21. uh says:

    Priceless OT: http://www.nytimes.com/video/us/100000004667027/video-keith-scott-police-shooting-charlotte.html?smprod=amp&region=img

    Rakeyia Scott’s video of the shooting. She uses the “sassy black woman” tone to berate the cops. Unreal.

    Like

  22. JR says:

    Brits make up 50%. Who knew they were so alpha?

    [CH: old school brit men weren’t lacking in alphatude, especially the ones with a little working class in their blood. the chavs of today may be lost and prone to wiggerism but they carry that english shitlord gene in them.]

    Like

  23. whorefinder says:

    I voted birthday cat, but McQueen and Alfie are both stellar.

    It’s too bad Caine never got to play James Bond, he would have been a good fit, in the Sean Connery mode.

    What might have been rape!

    Like

    • mendo says:

      Never thought of Caine as a Bond-type, but in seeing that picture he could have pulled it off.

      Heck, even his brief stint as Austin Powers’ dad comes across as better than what’s been out lately.

      Liked by 1 person

      • whorefinder says:

        Danny Craig is playing the character as a queer man. The pouty looks, the over-muscled physique, the inability to be seen enjoying being with the women he beds—-he’s pretty much signaling to the homos that he’s open for business.

        Contrast that with Connery or Roger Moore, both of whom seemed to genuinely enjoy being in bed with the actresses Bond was nailing.

        Homo rape!

        Like

      • quixotic says:

        Yes sir, the Caine pic looks pretty cool, hadn’t seen that before.

        Nailed it whorefinder. All the fucking comic book movies are to blame, grim and gritty morose motherfuckers brooding for 2 hours. I couldnt stand to watch a single of the new bond movies, craig does not come across as suave or seem to be enjoying any part of being a secret agent with a license to kill. Connery has a level 100 shit eating grin. “Pussy Galore? i must be dreaming…” loloz

        Connery was the greatest rape!

        Like

    • uh says:

      Alfie the book – even better

      Like

  24. Ripp says:

    Undercover billionaire shitlord was disguised as a feeble shitlib manlet tech geek. Comes out as Trump Supporter.

    the nerd libs are going hysterical.

    http://www.breitbart.com/tech/2016/09/23/gaming-devs-journalists-predictably-freak-out-over-oculus-rift-creator-palmer-luckey-backing-trump/

    Like

  25. Major1 says:

    Not even close.

    The Brazilian.
    Look at what he has wrought, and how thoroughly he is enjoying himself.

    This is a true IDGAF dude caught in the wild doing what he does best.

    Since seeing his picture I have channeled his spirit many times. It has never failed me, and never will.

    Like

  26. Scanman says:

    All top notch but McQueen rules. Prince Harry comes in a close second, followed by Trump followed by Statham. The Brazilian dude looks vaguely retarded and Michael Cain is a poof.

    Like

  27. Random Guy says:

    Prince Harry seems impressive at first until you realize he’s just being bored while his chick talks to someone out of sight behind him.

    Trump wins here, he’s the only one who doesn’t even “need” a woman. Its all about him.

    Like

    • Random Guy says:

      To fill out the rest; brazillian guy went out of his way just to get attention from feminist harpies.

      Statham is enjoying the attention of the woman a little “too” much.

      Michael Caine’s a little too self satisfied there.

      Whereas McQueen it’s just another day for him, hanging out in his shorts, hair not brushed possibly not even showered while a hot chick is hanging on him. Nothing worth feeling anything about.

      He treats having a hot chick on his arm like you or I would treat having a beat up but reliable old pick up truck.

      Like

    • Scanman says:

      Good point. It’s true that the Harry pose is 95% about the woman. If it had been some fat ugly woman hanging on his shoulder, it wouldn’t have been notable. True but not as much for McQueen. Dude is just physically based. Trump can radiate alpha even sans beautiful woman.

      Like

  28. plumpjack says:

    alpha body language in the face of absolute danger is true alpha. so it’s between Trump and Brazilian Shitlord….

    i believe that Trump, if he could, wouldn’t hesitate to lead the free world with his c**k out.

    therefore, Trump.

    Like

  29. plumpjack says:

    Hercules had it right.

    Like

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