Reader Donohoe notices that, contrary to popular perception, it’s hard for women to hide their sexual desire.
Does anyone else have exes that they accidentally hurt so much that the ex can’t even talk to them?
Strolling with some chick today and saw this kinda-ex fling thing today with her new boyfriend
Her eyes met mine from across the street and she body visibly coiled up, her face turned to that of bambi’s mother before being shot, the blood draining from her face.
I smirked and walked on.
The Smirk: Leaving her better than you found her, since 1995.
Raw sexual desire is one of the toughest emotions to conceal from view. (Jealousy is perhaps the toughest.) Men are actually better at hiding their sexual desire than are women, despite most people believing otherwise, and it’s easy to see why evolution equipped men with this ability to keep their horniness levels under wraps. In the environment of evolutionary adaptation, a sexually desirous man wantonly displaying his eagerness courts the murderous glares of competitor males. A sexually desirous woman doing the same doesn’t risk her life (although she does risk her reputation and catching a slew of venereal diseases).
For men, as the sex that responds instantly to visual cues for mating opportunities, there is simply a lot more time in the day when the typical man will feel urges to fuck, these urges ranging from mild perturbations of the general body to intense conflagrations of the loins. Women, as the sex for whom attraction to men is less visual and more holistic in nature, feel urges to fuck far less frequently throughout the day.
So it is understandable that women would seem to have more control over manifestations of their sexual desire. Women don’t actually have more control; they just experience fewer moments when their sexual desire is roused from slumber.
Given the near-constant onslaught of limbic-generated horniness men must tame to function in a civilized society, it’s no wonder that as a sex, men are very good at controlling their sexual urges and carrying on as if that secretary with the heaving cleavage wasn’t setting their brains and balls aflame.
All this is to say that when you see a desire distress signal in a woman, (as opposed to the transparently fake come-ons of strippers and golddigging sluts) you know that what she’s feeling in that moment is real and powerful, and therefore not something which she can conceal very well.
The body coil is one of those recognizable signs of a woman’s racing desire thwarted by circumstance. Donohoe describes it well; the whole body tenses and she appears frozen in place. An ex-girlfriend (if she’s the dumpee, not the dumper) is the perfect candidate for a whole body coil, especially if she sees you with another woman.
Men experience the body coil too. Often, it’s the inexperienced beta males who show symptoms of waking rigor mortis when in the company of a beautiful young woman. Alpha men who do well with women and who have accrued years of confidence-boosting successes bedding women sometimes come to miss those days when their bodies betrayed their desire and the aroma of a sexually ripe woman would offer a rush to scrote and soul alike that no other enticement could duplicate.
Strippers aren’t really attracted to me? FML!
I’ve noticed this. Good to attach a term to the behaviour.
Could you post a picture or explain exactly what a body coil is? Is it a body freeze? Does she sort of turn around on herself? As a non-english native I have a problem connecting “to coil” with a behavior.
Think deer in headlights…..they freeze up and short circuit a bit if you will.
[…] The Body Coil: A Sexual Attraction Giveaway […]
“The Smirk: Leaving her better than you found her, since 1995.”
I’ve got a film title and a logline. Now I’m gonna write a script for this. And, 1995 is a perfect year for a setting.
FADE IN:
INT. MESSY ROOM – DAY – 1995
> “I’ve got a film title and a logline. Now I’m gonna write a script for this.”
A little off-topic, but the Eskimo writing team for Mad Men is going all guns blazing scorched earth against the White Man in the final few episodes of the series. The Eskimos want us to believe that all those tall handsome square-jawed football/lacrosse playing White jocks at McCann Erickson are evil incarnate. F*ck the Eskimos.
Is the body coil really a sign of sexual attraction? In a situation like this, it seems like it would be more of a sign of feeling uncomfortable at seeing someone you didn’t expect to see and not knowing how to react.
You’re thinking of the body re-coil.
The coil is when she freezes and stares at you (expression depending upon your prior history with her). The recoil is when she quickly looks away, sometimes with a depressed or disgusted look, but she does not freeze.
The key is whether or not the woman looks at you (good) or looks away (bad).
Hint: in most Slavic languages, the word for “to hate” literally means “to not see at”. If she’s repulsed by you, she won’t be able to even point her eyes in your direction.
He said uncomfortable, not disgusted, so even if all you said is valid, it’s entirely irrelevant. I think facial expressions differentiate lack of comfort from horniness.
Off topic, I just watched the philosophers/after the dark and it was so disappointing. The thought experiment was interesting, but it had a typical feelings based ending. I think it’s silly I have to watch movies from before I turned five to not feel my intelligence is being insulted for the sake of the feelings of someto be tickled.
He said uncomfortable, not disgusted, so even if all you said is valid, it’s entirely irrelevant.
No, he was asking if it’s a sign of “sexual attraction”, and implied that being uncomfortable means “not sexually attracted”.
Which is, of course, untrue. If it were, ghetto thugs would have no luck in the SMP.
This is a good example of why high-speed Internet has its benefits. We need pictures and videos to demonstrate this stuff. Words don’t do it justice.
Maybe a video like this but less cheesy:
“No, he was asking if it’s a sign of “sexual attraction”, and implied that being uncomfortable means “not sexually attracted”.’
No, I wasn’t implying that at all. Maybe the girl was sexually attracted to him, maybe she wasn’t. I’m just saying that the most logical explanation of the body coil in this situation is unexpected surprise at seeing someone you didn’t expect to see and being in an awkward situation. I don’t see how this is a sign of sexual attraction.
I’m just saying that the most logical explanation of the body coil in this situation is unexpected surprise at seeing someone you didn’t expect to see and being in an awkward situation. I don’t see how this is a sign of sexual attraction.
She was either strongly attracted or strongly repulsed by him. And if he hadn’t barfed his emotions all over her or otherwise creeped her out in the near past, we can safely rule out strong repulsion.
If she was indifferent to him, then she wouldn’t have responded at all. Unless she was naked in public or something.
One hell of a good read.
here is the kind of hilarity to expect when someone deluded tries to “debunk” what someone committed to truth says:
http://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/04/08/pickup-artistry-is-like-waggling-your-penis-in-front-of-a-cat-explains-pickup-artist-who-may-not-have-ever-met-a-cat/#more-15964
On another note McCain continues his attacks on Rand Paul.
Isn’t it ironic that the person who Hillary, Obama and McCain hate the most outside the U.S. is Putin. Think about that for a moment fetish people.
Hillary and Obama don’t hate Putin, they envy him.
What? They envy the fact that Putin loves his own country and protects his own brethren and places their interests first and foremost in his policies? Hill@ry the bu11dyke who was a “Goldw@ter Repub1ican” before she entered Wellesley and fell under the spell of Sau1 A1insky’s n!h!l!sm? 0bama the n@rcissist who was raised by his WH!TE GR@ANDM0THER [after his ch!mpanzee f@ther and his mudsh@ark m0ther had abandoned him], and who promptly threw gr@nny under the bus in the 2008 campaign as she lay dying of cancer? LOL’ed. PS: There were persistent rumors back circa 1993 that Hill@ry’s “Goldw@ter Repub1ican” m0ther was a DEVOUT listener of the Ru$h L!mb@ugh show.
GRANDE DUKE NIKOLAY NIKOLAYEVICH, HIS SPOUSE LAID TO REST AT WWII MEMORIAL CHAPEL http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3286414/posts
“The Duke and the Duchess have returned to their Homeland, their names are acquiring a worthy place in the Russian public memory,” State Duma Speaker Sergey Naryshkin, who chairs the Russian Historical Society, said at the ceremony. It is impossible to overestimate the merits of the Duke as a military man and a statesman, the supreme commander-in-chief of all land and naval forces of the Russian Empire, he said… Grand Duke Nikolay Nikolayevich Jr. (1856-1929) was a grandson of Emperor Nicholas I… The grand duke died at his villa on the French Riviera in 1929 and was buried at the crypt at the St. Michael the Archangel Church in Cannes…
“the fact that Putin loves his own country and protects his own brethren and places their interests first and foremost in his policies”
Gosh Captain Obvious how come more people don’t understand this? I would expect ignorance on Yahoo but not here. Putin is hated because he would not embrace the neocons agenda of multi-cultural political correctness.
Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless. Like water.
Water doesn’t coil up, water no have boner.
-Bruce Ree
http://www.practicallyalpha.com
As for when a gal likes you it has been my observation that the body language changes significantly. The gal could be walking confidently and with good posture when at first sight of her desired lover she will physically go into a submissive posture with ears back and eyes wide open. It is really a sight to behold because her body language actually becomes much less attractive to me. I have always noticed this when it happens and it is at those points I became less attracted to said women.
Ahh the dysfunction.
You have to be less attracted – in order to unleash the depravity needed for sex. She’s prompting you – but you’re keeping her on a pedestal.
“but you’re keeping her on a pedestal.”-
Because I have lost attraction? I just like women who are confident with their body. A smitten women is not physically attractive.
Reads like: I’d never want to be a member of a club – that’d have me as one of it’s members …
“Reads like: I’d never want to be a member of a club – that’d have me as one of it’s members …”
Not exactly sure what you mean by this but it made me laugh.
I am confident it was an ego/dysfunctional thing for me. Once it was attainable it lost it’s luster and on to the next validation.
“It is really a sight to behold because her body language actually becomes much less attractive to me. I have always noticed this when it happens and it is at those points I became less attracted to said women.
Ahh the dysfunction.”
you’re talking about a woman who likes you or a woman who appears that way in response to someone else? i can’t say i’ve ever been LESS attracted to a woman i liked when she started showing visible indications of desire for me.
I know that feeling: When your ego overcomes your gonads and draws them up into your torso…. Need to maintain the sexuality, which can then add even more to the ego, once the conquest is secured. Ego is too dumb to recognize this in a young man.
She is the coil, I am the shock absorber…
Ok not my best play on words, I admit it, but I am having a verbal “fight” with this woman I have been seeing for a couple months, and I realize – and am smiling as I am writing this – that reading CH’s blog has made me better at dealing with angry b*tches, I am more calm, more able to deflect her attempts at making me angry and I even managed to insert some humor
and if in the end we split, I do not care that much, she was interesting but not the greatest
Life is good!
Are you “strutting” your stuff?
Also learn to spot the peripheral stare and the orbit moves.
Tilikum,
I saw Tilikum this weekend. The trainers don’t even enter pool with the majestic beast anymore.
Free Tilikum.
He was the origin of the name and my first WordPress avatar.
Bitch tried to control him and and the apex predator took her on a ride to the briny deep. How nature says “don’t touch” if you are observant.
Please stop posting you tube clips. it’s boring.
It clogs up the thread so that plug-in-container churns and churns and churns.
It seems to happen once 8 or so videos get posted… I thought for a time it was just another technique to upend a particular discussion.
sexually successful men have their equivalent of the body coil too (note i say sexually successful, not alpha because im a beta skinny bitch for the most part) and not in a sad sack way.
I’ve had several ex’s and flings describe me as having “hard eyes”, heavy breathing and clenched teeth. one particularly adorable nerd girl told me on our date that the first time we talked that she “felt like a mouse being watched by a hawk.”
one girl I immediately dropped when tried to shame me for involuntarily snarling when I bit her neck.
point being: even us punk ass men get chimpy when that sweet sweet magnetism let’s instinct take over. your description of the male body coil sounds like a timid rabbit.
For a pretty obvious tell, I’ve experienced women who have literally ran away or walk really fast when they entered my field of vision and think I was checking them out. I should also add that I have a high level of physical attractiveness
“For a pretty obvious tell, I’ve experienced women who have literally ran away or walk really fast when they entered my field of vision and think I was checking them out. I should also add that I have a high level of physical attractiveness”
lol, I have the same issue. In fact have talked about it ad nauseam on CH. Nice to see someone else deals with this. You feel like a rapist?
Your insights help explain a lot. I am very good looking ( many women when they are comfortable with me have told me this) .
I also am very confident and project it outwards. Despite this it has always been a source of frustration that decent looking young women seem almost scared and intimidated when I look at them. Your post helps explain a lot. What’s interesting is that the good looking older (45+ ) women on the other hand -always- look back and smile in usually a seductive manner.
Every time. And it’s one of the main reasons why I’m apprehensive approaching them.
“Every time. And it’s one of the main reasons why I’m apprehensive approaching them.”
I hear ya bro. I got some tips which helped me calibrate some things a little. Forgot who it was on here that had some good insight.
I found it best to approach in places where there is a relaxed setting such as a coffee shop. When walking somewhere there seems to be an almost herd fear instinct from women. I think part of this is an American, feminist thing. I bet women would not do this in other countries.
Maybe they think you’re gay?
Nope, they know what’s on your mind and try to get away from you. You seem to be communicating desire too much.
Otoh women seem to be like that these days when they’re making a conscious effort to avoid contact with men. What’s up with that?
wanted to chime in here saying, yeh, it’s been 1 month today, that I haven’t heard from my ex.
she initiates twice over 3 days, i spend both nights at her place – right before i take off for military police academy.
when we parted, she told me to text her – she’s had a history of being hot/cold the previous month, so i listened to my gut, looked her in the eye, and replied “no ___, you text me… you text me.”
that was april 4, the academy started on the 6th – we’re confined to base until this weekend.
think about that – it’s pretty much were you get sent to prison, and the girl who you thought was making progress doesn’t reach out – and there’s no one to anchor you with side pussy. there’s nothing here.
every day i tell myself i should have just accepted her lil compliance test and gamed her accordingly.. but i jumped the gun and fucked it seemingly for good.
girl was a hard 9 too. i dream of her and wake in a cold sweat, rattled to no end that i allowed her to enter the only time in my day where i don’t feel like a bag of shit.
..have a feeling my game is going to be shit for a while
Quit second guessing yourself, breh. Do you ever notice that you do what you know is the right thing–stop talking to your ex–and regret your decision because you don’t immediately get the result you want? The point of no contact isn’t just to bring her back, but to fix yourself so you can be ready if and when she reaches out. You’re still a mess, so even if she was texting you constantly my bet is that you’d mess it up again.
Honestly, though, if you’re not happy with the occasional hook up followed by months of silence, just tell her to leave you alone, if she contacts you again.
thanks brother.
well yeah, this has been the longest she hasn’t hit me with contact in the 3+ years we’ve hooked up/dated..
the shit that she did during those 3 days, any one would fall for – saying her favourite song now is “i think i’m in love again”, dancing/stripping for over an hour for me.. other shit. not sure if bpd.. who knows, maybe i am.
honestly, i easily could go and check out her twitter and see if she’s getting plowed out, or whatever.
but i’m a pussy and rather not see her face on any social media.
haha, fucking brain chemicals – i swear i hit harder when a relationship ends than the average guy – probably childhood shit brought up
“Quit second guessing yourself, breh. Do you ever notice that you do what you know is the right thing–stop talking to your ex–and regret your decision because you don’t immediately get the result you want? The point of no contact isn’t just to bring her back, but to fix yourself so you can be ready if and when she reaches out. You’re still a mess, so even if she was texting you constantly my bet is that you’d mess it up again.”
Yes grasshopper you are Alpha material now. Looks like you have a bright future ahead.
haha, fucking brain chemicals – i swear i hit harder when a relationship ends than the average guy – probably childhood shit brought up
Fucked up people tend to find each other, so it’s not surprising that you two ended up together. The push/pull behavior on her part could be due to BPD, but you can’t know for sure without digging into her childhood and talking to a shrink.
But I don’t think you should worry about that. Recognize that her behavior is bullshit, whatever the cause, and start working on your issues. I’m three months out from my break up and doing the same things. There’s really no pleasant way out of the situation, unfortunately.
Yes grasshopper you are Alpha material now. Looks like you have a bright future ahead.
One step at a time. I’m beginning to accept that after three months of no contact, the girl I told you about in January isn’t coming back. Still stings, but I’m approaching often and expanding my social circle. Everything will work out.
“One step at a time. I’m beginning to accept that after three months of no contact, the girl I told you about in January isn’t coming back. Still stings, but I’m approaching often and expanding my social circle. Everything will work out.”
I am proud of you for holding frame and is indicative of your Alphaness but I am telling you don’t be surprised if one day one of these women you did not give into tries to reach out. What matters for you is that you are not counting on it which allows you to stay in good form.
I am telling you don’t be surprised if one day one of these women you did not give into tries to reach out. What matters for you is that you are not counting on it which allows you to stay in good form.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. But I’m almost certain that any contact she initiates will be an attempt to squeeze some validation out of me, not because she’s actually interested in a relationship.
Besides, she did some cruel shit after dumping me. I’m not sure I want her back in my life.
“I’m not sure I want her back in my life.”-
lol, nice!
“she did some cruel shit after dumping me”-
Given a little vested interest may I ask what?
“she did some cruel shit after dumping me”-
Given a little vested interest may I ask what?
She sent me that bait text I told you about, and got really bitchy after I responded. I had to see her at some social events the week after she dumped me. She had her new dude drop her off, and she switched between being flirtatious and ignoring me over the course of those next few days.
It was all very manipulative and passive aggressive, though not unexpected behavior post break up. Don’t get me wrong, I’d fuck her silly if given the chance. But I’m a little wiser now, and I detach a little more each day I’m away from her. There would be no placating this time around.
“She sent me that bait text I told you about, and got really bitchy after I responded. I had to see her at some social events the week after she dumped me. She had her new dude drop her off, and she switched between being flirtatious and ignoring me over the course of those next few days.
It was all very manipulative and passive aggressive, though not unexpected behavior post break up. Don’t get me wrong, I’d fuck her silly if given the chance. But I’m a little wiser now, and I detach a little more each day I’m away from her. There would be no placating this time around.”
Ya that sounds par for the course but as we talked about your “love” of her would fade with time. Also your respect for yourself has moved up appreciably. Keep up the good work.
Ya that sounds par for the course but as we talked about your “love” of her would fade with time. Also your respect for yourself has moved up appreciably. Keep up the good work.
Nice use of quotation marks. What I’m missing isn’t really her, just the front she put on at the beginning. The crazy made an appearance in no time at all.
P.S. I ran into her parents at the grocery store the other day. Complete coincidence because they live nowhere near me. When they greeted me, I plastered a big smile on my face, shook her dad’s hand and made small talk. Her mom hugged me and said that she missed me. I shouldn’t care but I hope it gets back to her.
Stained class, listen to me. Maybe a better option would of been to leave the contact option open instead of forcing a yes or no but that is water under the bridge anyway.
The bottom line is you have not ruined anything with this girl yet. What you are going through is normal but probably amplified because of your academy. In other words it is a state of mind. If you were on vacation with babes all around your emotional view on this whole situation would be different.
Seriously, women have a 6th sense and she probably knows your options are limited until this weekend. You are in the the home stretch so don’t give up now. Think of it this way, you are killing two birds with one stone, becoming police material and becoming Alpha material. You do realize that your “options” are going to change once you get out of boot camp right?
Stay strong my friend.
@stained glass you have to realize that you can’t control other people’s behaviours. To second-guess yourself is to torture yourself. I’ve had these moments for a year until I just accepted it’s over. Then out of the blue she came to my New Year’s Eve party at the very end…just to dance with me…after a two month silence. We made out, she helped clean up and kept saying “I don’t know why I came….” to which I smirked and said: “I knew you’d come…”
After that we would text occasionally just banter…she then went back to her default bitch behaviours…cool…complaining…so I pulled back accordingly. Finally after all the banter I shot her a text late one night: “oy, let’s meet up for drinks this week” she replied: “Not free this week”
That was it…I haven’t had any contact with her since then. What further proof do you need? This was a girl who would greet me at the airport wearing a trench coat and heels with nothing underneath and she can’t step up?
You’re working too hard for a whole lot of nothing. There’s a ton of girls in this world. Don’t look at the temporary base confinement or whatever as some type of punishment in life…it’s a great way to clear your head. Forget this girl, you have one-it is. Read all my posts….it gets better when you step up and reclaim your balls.
This week: i’m banging three girls and have others in my rotation…they bake me cakes, call me, text me, plan stuff with me…and only one girl doesn’t…crazy ex….where do you focus your energies??
appreciate the feedback, fellas.
well, currently my energies are focused on passing the academy – that’s number 1.
reigniting my game is number 2. don draper doesn’t work well in clubs, and i’m 5’9” in timberlands, and muscular, so i have that stigma attached, which is what it is..
laser eye contact, slow movements/speech? i’m always caught with trying to say the right thing, when in theory i know it’s rarely the words, but the actions with the words, that draws the seduction near..
scatterbrain at times.
I’ve got three in the rotation and three more jostling to get into the on-deck circle. “Stained class” doesn’t need to confine himself to one woman. No need whatsoever. Also, the women don’t particularly care that they’re part of a soft harem, as long as you keep frame, stay alpha, and make them feel special when they’re with you.
comment in mod
@stained class
props on making progress…we’re all pulling for you to get through this…
“think about that – it’s pretty much were you get sent to prison, and the girl who you thought was making progress doesn’t reach out – and there’s no one to anchor you with side pussy. there’s nothing here.”
you weren’t making progress with her (and she wasn’t changing either…), that was just your wishful thinking in action… and that whole ‘nothing here’ mentality is the opposite of ‘abundance’ mentality (regardless of the actual amount of girls around)…it is short sighted and beta…but you still haven’t caved in and texted her…so props on that…
that red pill is a real bitch to choke down, eh?…
here’s how your situ seems in a nut shell… you’ve been in the beta bux spot with your girl since you started, and now that you are getting red pill enough to see the way things work, you want more…you want her to ‘want’ you like an alpha stud (with true arousal/desire) and not as an afterthought/convenience type of interaction (beta orbiter).
but, you’re stuck…bc if you cave and text/call/contact her first, you are in her frame as a beta bux orbiter (and not likely to ever get out of her frame…) and not as an alpha stud…
but to get to alpha stud you CAN’T contact her first at all (bc that’s you chasing her = she is the prize = beta orbiter) and if you don’t contact her first, you won’t have any interaction at all (bc she can get a beta orbiter almost anywhere)…
AND if/when you are interacting with her in the future, you need to have at least 3 other girls on the go (for the preselection boost…if she really is a HB9…). and you’re stuck in your scarcity mentality (with a blue pill ‘i’ll be ‘cheating’ on her’ vibe)…(don’t feel too bad, even Sinatra had some bad times…). but you CAN pull though this…and you have a good start already…
“every day i tell myself i should have just accepted her lil compliance test and gamed her accordingly.. but i jumped the gun and fucked it seemingly for good.”
it’s probably hard to see this in the moment, but if you had ‘accepted'(failed) her compliance test, you would have been even more stuck as a beta orbiter…which means that there would have been no true desire/arousal on her part…just sex drip, drip, dripped out (on her schedule) to maintain your interest/attention/provisioning while she bangs other guys she sees as alpha studs with true desire. girls have sex for lots of different reasons. it’s part of their sexual/repro strategy (go read Rational Male if you haven’t already)…
now the good thing about being a beta orbiter is that you have access to a hot girl and you SOMETIMES get sex (on her schedule)…when she’s bored or needs some company or attention, etc…but it’s not the same as her seeing you as an alpha stud, where she is ALWAYS ready to go…lol…and having been in both spots (beta bux and alpha fux) the actual sex is much different…as much fun as beta sex is, alpha stud sex is WAAAAY more fun…lol…and that seems to be what you want from this girl, but you’re not getting that bc you’re in her beta orbiter role…
“girl was a hard 9 too. i dream of her and wake in a cold sweat, rattled to no end that i allowed her to enter the only time in my day where i don’t feel like a bag of shit.”
this is part of the process of choking down the red pill…it’s your subconscious mind trying to hold onto a version of blue pill possibilities, but failing…
“..have a feeling my game is going to be shit for a while”
no, your ALPHA game is getting much better (small steps for big change…)…your beta ‘game’ is starting to get weaker…and hopefully stays shitty…lol…
keep holding out and don’t contact her, if you want to even have a chance at alpha stud with her later…
as far as your situ being like Wala’s…yes, it is…except your girl doesn’t seem BPD…just a normal HB9 (with all that that includes…)
good luck!
[…] Source: Heartiste […]
She may be the music industry bike, but thirsty beta ginge is so deep into the friendzone, he’s never getting out. Fame and fortune is wasted on some people. Dude needs the red pill, bad.
http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/ed-sheeran-and-taylor-swift-send-each-other-adorkable-texts-before-they-sleep–gkLSUQAdeb?
“see if she’s getting plowed out, or whatever….”
Correct me if I am wrong someone but aren’t all 9’s and 10’s always getting plowed by someone?
rhetorical
Soooooo just putting this out there. Christiano Ronaldo, perhaps the most alpha of alpha, was just broken up with his model gf of five years because “she wanted a more loyal guy”
Yeah she stuck it out for 5 years…but this could give us some insight into a girl’s brain and that they want a man who CAN get other hotter girls but doesn’t necessarily exercise the option.
Now the question is how do we know, in this modern day, if the girl sees you as alpha and is safe to exclusive with. Maybe if she’s letting you fuck her every night..? It’s honestly something that has confused me ha
Woman makes 2 OK Cupid profiles, finds men prefer thin to fat; hamster ignores the lesson.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3064279/Woman-creates-fat-online-dating-profiles-using-size-10-size-18-pictures.html
“Alternatively, though, you could interpret these results slightly differently.
A size 18 woman, posting some of her least flattering, double chin-featuring pics, received 18 messages in five days.
That’s 18 more than the body-shaming community might have you expect.”
LOL
Nothing really surprising there. I’ve seen fatties getting hit on all the time at bars and clubs.
What’s funny is that the ratio of men who just want to bang to men who wouldn’t mind a relationship is probably different too. And not in the favour of the fattie.
@Stained glass: Interesting. I noticed a kind of reflex in my crazy ex last week. I went out to a dance practice night with the 21 year old I’m banging. I rarely go but since the girl wanted to practice we went. I never expected my ex to be there because I figured she worked on those nights. Out of the corner of my eye, later in the night I catch a glimpse. I saw her kind of in a recoil position, sort of leaning, white, blank expression suddenly focused on her phone. I don’t know what she could have been feeling. But she did not look happy. A few days later I was at another party and making myself a cocktail at the entrance. She walked in…saw me, I casually turned back around…she left. Weird. If she was ok with everything she would have come in because there were some guy friends of hers in the party…what’s with the dramatic exit?
Sure there could be some residual feelings or desire but it doesn’t manifest itself into any action.
walawala, she is trying to move on but has feelings still and was hurt.
That is what I am going with.
@walawala
String is too far out of the cat’s reach so it gives up. This is a good thing in this particular case because she’s a crazy bitch and would eat you alive if you got back with her. If she were a girl who wasn’t going to ruin your life, this is where you would want to calibrate and make yourself slightly more attainable to her so the string is tantalizingly in reach again.
“a girl who wasn’t going to ruin your life”
Now there is a consideration which cannot be overstated.
@YaReally she’s got a bunch of orbiters. As I wrote above, I invited her out for drinks (string) and she claimed to be busy.
I think…she expected me to follow up with “when are you free then?” I didn’t.
Not sure about the “string” theory. She could have come out…but I think knowing her as I do…she expected me to continue chasing.
It’s like this: “Me: text Her: response: Me: Last word text.
In this last case it was: Me: let’s meet up for drinks this week. Her: Not free this week Me: Nothing…radio silence…ignore
So girls get used to little patterns dont’ they? Ping…pong….ping Then suddenly it’s Ping…Pong and nothing and they read into that don’t they?
This is the essence of game isn’t it? Defying expectations, being unscrutable etc.
I think this I also your idea of calibration.
Anyway, it’s a moot point. I’ve built up a little rotation and am doing well…
@walawala
“As I wrote above, I invited her out for drinks (string) and she claimed to be busy.”
Whoops, I didn’t see that post. I thought this happened out of the blue. I didn’t realize you invited her out for drinks which changes things. If I had read this:
“Finally after all the banter I shot her a text late one night: “oy, let’s meet up for drinks this week” she replied: “Not free this week””
I would have instead replied with: what the fuck are you doing, are you fucking retarded?? Why the fuck are you inviting this crazy bitch out for drinks after we spent like a YEAR trying to get you off her hook??
She gives zero fucks about you except that she’ll sweeten up her behavior when she stops getting attention from other men. You are her BB she’s keeping strung along because you keep chasing her when you haven’t even had your dick inside her in like a year. Why are you still txting her?????
I mean, I know WHY. But goddamn, I thought we had you off that track finally.
“Why the fuck are you inviting this crazy bitch out for drinks after we spent like a YEAR trying to get you off her hook??”
Really? I’m outa here.
@YaReally I think I’ve made it clear I’m not involved. I got a bunch of IOI’s and outreach. I invited her out for drinks end of story. I’ve got too much more on the go right now to really care about her. This is more about letting the other guys out there who are still on the hook.
It’s been a year, I’m over it and I’ve been banging chicks like a shaolin monk bangs a gong.
I wouldn’t bring this stuff up if I didn’t think other guys would learn from it. it occupies little space in my head except when posts like this come up.
For dudes who are still clinging to hope, read my posts and story. You have to extract yourself from crazies and move on. In my case, mine pops in all the time. It’s like a virus.
@ YaReally.
is my situation on par with walawala’s, or am i being delusional.
@Stained glass Yup, your situation is on par with mine. It took me a good 6 months to get my head out of my ass…then another 3 to realize…I was totally duped…then there was the bullshit, the push-pull from her…
But all the while I was banging girls. Then one day close to a year after the break up I woke up and was like…”What was I thinking???”
All my posts are here….YaReally called me out a lot and helped so did others so that’s why I’m sharing my story. I’m now over it. Yah, I can fire off a “drinks” text the way I would any other girl in the rotation.
Girls like that are deeply conflicted. You’ll never get to where you were at the start. They want you when they think they’ve lost you…which is the point of the original post.
But for you to have any false hopes that this is somehow going to fix itself….that there’s some magical game line, technique, freeze out that will make her be the person you thought she was at the beginning? No. Don’t be the chump I was…You’re in denial for now…accept the loss and move on. You won’t be able to enjoy yourself until you do.
@walawala
whew, you scared me there. I thought you were trying to bang her again. It doesn’t matter if you’re over her or not, her perception of you is still that you are low value and will chase her if she dangles the string just a little lower (the evidence being your attempt to get her for drinks following the exact same pattern as a year ago), don’t be even TRYING to go out for drinks with this chick lol
Ignore the “FFS, wala” post in mod where I’m bitching you out further lol
@YaReally Thanks. The “FFS Wala” post is a good reminder for anyone who’s stuck where I was.
I have an abundance mentality now so it doesn’t matter that I shot her a text.
This last 3 days I just banged 3 different girls in my rotation and it’s totally different. These girls do stuff for me and are keen to meet up. There isn’t the drama. My game is good. After the whole fiasco 18 months ago my self-confidence took a huge blow and any crumb of attention was an “event”.
wala, yareally
Had a dream last night that YaReally was my room mate. Fuckin weird.
Anyway, interesting point there with cat string theory. I’d love a more detailed post on how to use it to ‘string girls along’ for longer (without having to give them more comfort / emotional connection that kills the it’s just sex vibe).
@kant In my experience, the girl has to express an interest of some kind. I just had a girl I banged a few weeks ago write me saying “When are you taking me out for a curry?” It was all bravado. I was pulling and pushing; “Depends…” “We’ll see” finally I said “Tomorrow?” Her response: “Are you cooking?” Me: Depends… Her: on what? Me: If you promise to do the dishes. Her: “I’m a pro at cleaning up”
Is that the string theory? In the crazy ex case…there was string: “let’s go for drinks” and then…radio silence. It forces the girl into making a choice.
You can’t make it too easy. Also as some of the posters here have suggested, the idea that a guy “blew it” is ludicrous. Girls emotional states are more fluid. There was a girl last year I gamed and who always was unavailable. I didn’t see for months. I ran into her at a party. I said “I can’t do it tonight, but next week, we’re sneaking out for drinks”. Sure enough, she confirms this with me so it’s not a “joke” on my part. Then we leave for drinks Then we were all over each other. After that we never went out again but she still drops IOI’s….I think I’d triggered her bad boy fantasies and she went back to being the good girl her friends think she is.
Did he game you?
During your late night REM fantasy, did you two exchange bowl movements whilst discussing the finer points of scatology game?
Pray tell.
There are a few factors I’ve considered in this:
1)her age/goals: if she’s out of college, her receptiveness for just sex/fun relationships is lower
2)fuck her like a champ. I do this because I like it, but if you engage the minds of girls in what they’re doing in bed(every girl has some fantasy of some sort that you can engage; if you don’t like it, you can reframe her fantasy but use the same mental cues that get her off), they’ll get addicted to the D(provided your technique is good, which isn’t really that hard lol)
3)have a ‘I like having fun and joking around’ persona and hint that you’re not the relationship kind of guy. And I’m usually unavailable to them.
The thing is that women aren’t completely helpless. You won’t be able to have a fuck buddy relationship with any woman because some really want the bf-gf type of relationship.
I have a question. Could fulfilling some fantasy of the girl act as emotional connection? I had this girl with which I barely did any rapport building, but I understood what she wants in bed. Maybe she felt a connection because of that? I spent more time with my dick in her than I spent on building rapport. I did sense sometimes her starvation for rapport and gave her a bit of it, but I kept telling her that she’s just my cute little plaything. I don’t know how general this is though, maybe it was just her idiosyncrasy. I don’t mind having emotional connection with girls insofar as they don’t bond and want to move in with me or expect roses and shit like that.
“Had a dream last night that YaReally was my room mate.”
no room in your shack with the 10 illegal immigrant fruit picking family members living there with you already.
happy cinco de mayo you wetback. remember, gay pickups don’t count as game. and no 8,9 or 10 will spread for a beaner.
maybe yatyler will shove an avocado up your cornhole tonight in your dreams. or for real. keep us posted.
@kant
Reply in mod, because where else would it be lol
@YaReally
as per somebody on a different thread…i just typed out a big reply to stained class above (in the reply box), cut it, cancelled that reply, opened a new reply box, pasted it, added the ‘good luck!’ and posted it…it popped right out…first time in a quite a while that happened…
well on exes ive beatin all the other dudes down like highlander and shit so i guess i won but what did i win is the question he he he
she got no more backups there is only me now scary
sure still other dudes in the world i guess but can’t be me
sometimes looking at things a diferent way it might be nice to have competition cause then ya can let the bitch go easy and just do a handoff if you become the only one then it is gonna get ugly
so the pining and shit for the one that got away enjoy it really
she was probably trying to do you a favor
might be another gregi on the way will see if it changes my outlook he he he
If men were really so good at suppressing their sexual urges, there would be no such thing as date rape (or normal rape either). The reason men don’t outwardly display sexual desire is because they have no reason to. When a man wants sex, he simply takes aggressive action to get it.
The only thing holding him back is fear, of other men and of the government. Yes, that part is right, but you glossed over the fact that all men are basically tamed rapists.
(not that there’s anything wrong with that)
Our society is so afraid of the word “rape”. I wish people would just admit that rape is natural and then decide what to do about it. We need a kinder, gentler rape.
even animals in the wild dont get raped really what you talkin bout cletis lol
woman want to have sex more than men it is the basic tenet of life
and able to have sex more times per day than any man
its cant just be my life where woman beg to get fucked is it?
im that fuckin special am i
Rape isn’t about sex; it’s about control. If all the screaming, biting, kicking, and crying–not to mention the danger of being maced, shot, caught in the act, or caught 20 years later–were just a means to the end of cumming in a dry pussy, do really think men would commit rape? The violence is the point. That’s why rape and homicide are like thunder and lightning.
i think woman rape me to get my baby makin juice so prob about the sex
you can pound the shit out of a womans pussy without raping her and she will love it and love you
so no rape prob not about the violence can get that with regular sex no prob
but animals in wild when the female dont want to fuck the male aint fucking that female lioness
i think you got some wierd fantasies bout rape and how much it happens
to woman anyway i get raped all the fucking time as a man bitches dont like taking no for an answer
“Rape isn’t about sex, it’s about control” is a common feminist myth. So your saying a sexual act Aja’s nothing to do with sex. See, sounds absurd. I’m sure there are some instances where the rapist is really into the control, dominance, or whatever else is floating his boat, but the simple fact of the matter is that rape is a sexual act. We are all the descendants of rapists and rape victims. And…this comment will probably be in mod for eternity.
The sex is just the final degradation, like spitting on a defeated opponent. The ancient Greeks used to fight each other, with the victor raping the loser–literally making him his bitch. In the afterglow, one such victor asked his opponent, “Are you pregnant yet?”
Rape is when you realize after a few days that your one night stand won’t call. It’s like the worst thing in the world, like worse than killing your baby. Much worse in fact, duh.
maybe dude on dude rape is… holy shit dude, you wanna show me on the doll where he touched you?
;;lozlozlzozlzozlzozlzozlzozlz
thats what it is a dream of raping a dude
Tilikum called it
cause studies have shown a woman pussy would be more than likely wet
all men are basically tamed rapists
Meshugenah stumbles upon great truth. Still cannot make appropriate logical deduction.
As woman and jew, that does not surprise.
oink
her face turned to that of bambi’s mother before being shot
Shit, a spoiler!
Reminds me of this classic
Reblogged this on XWorkx.
or look at the womans magazines and the mens or books
men think about a hell of a lot of stuff
woman pretty much only think about sex and getting to the sex
maybe that is it the media had to find a way to get men to think about sex more cause they were thinking about other shit
what hobbies do woman have anymore other than sex
they not sewing or crochetting shit no more they aint cooking they aint doing shit but thinking bout sex
even feminists what they thinking about
oh yea sex lol
where is the womans phillosophy oh yea right there is none cause they only think about sex
why dont many chicks play video games
?
cause they only got room in life to think about sex
why chicks watch soap operas all day
hmm wonder why lol
The Women’s Studies major seeks to:
•provide majors with an understanding of the interdisciplinary scholarship on women, gender, and sexuality and to train them in interdisciplinary methods
””””””””””
first thing about the womans studies major has sex in it
so woman willing to go to school for years not to learn about math or business but to learn about sexuality and they are getting the degrees in droves
Ha ha, good point.
oh look the first course requirement what does it have in it
”””””””LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer) and Sexuality Studies ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
rofl
WS 404 Gender Based Violence: From Theory to Practice””””””’
wow so they learn the theory of gender based violence then put it into practice
Research course related to gender and sexuality, by WS advisor approval”””””’
and again with the sex
how many times ya see sex in a traditional mens curriculum lol
oh yea men are just horndogs just like the disney cartoons told me and woman dont like sex just like i heard that one time in bandcamp or somewhere on some tv show or something not sure
woman dont invent new shit because they could give a fuck about new inventions they want to think about when the next time they are getting fucked
woman dont go to war in droves cause they want to be alive at the end of the war to get fucked
woman dont do dangerous jobs cause they want to stay alive as long as posible to get fucked as many times as posible
woman do more drugs because then they have an excuse to get fucked more and can blame the drugs not that they just want to fuck even more than other woman
the one thing woman do better than men is the one thing men think they better at
fucking irony
i like this guy’s style, aotm maybe?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/11581507/50-Shades-of-Subterfuge-Rape-charges-as-male-model-offering-sex-in-dark-turns-out-to-be-balding-68-year-old.html
giving ’em what they want, or as much of what they want as he could
I’m glad that the French Police has nothing better to do. Well, the fate of Europe is obvious => if Christ won’t do – bow down to Mecca 5 times a day will be!
oink
Loving the cathedral’s view on how men are supposed to act:
“This man put in place a stratagem that enabled him to have sexual relations that he would never had if he had acted in the open.”
You needn’t lie as a man otherwise you’re guilty of “rape by fraud”.
You told the chick you’re a millionaire but really aren’t? Rape!
gave them what they wanted is right.
they were willing participants. no one forced them to meet a total stranger and wear a blindfold the whole time. that’s complete stupidity on their part and those girls are lucky he wasn’t some mass murderer but it was totally consensual.
ridiculous that the idea of rape is even a consideration. not surprising of course but still ridiculous.
You’re assuming it’s sexual attraction
CH, please ban this troll (you know who)!
your the the one raping peoples minds with falacy
fuck off
Don’t you mean phallusy?
yea he was dreaming of raping a dude i get it now
Gregi’s got more weight around here than you ever will, megabitch.
Sad.
But true. And it’s not really that sad.
Dude, gregi probably has a chair at the Chateau table. The odds of getting him banned is essentially zero.
Fat girls, gross deranged ugly smelly dirty girls and girls with earpiercing voices or old smoker voice make.me recoil.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3067237/Czech-teacher-moonlighted-porn-star-sacked-pupils-discover-explicit-videos-parents-complained.html
ROFL! If I got a buck each time a whore says she was drugged, I’d be sipping cocktails on a beach.
A bodycheck indeed. (re. tweet)
He makes a similar observation to one I made recently, though I don’t follow the ‘why’ logic in his article:
“[Equalist gatekeepers, if you will] have calculated that at this point it’s better to introduce some truth and realtalk in gender issues (but not race)”
http://dudecomedy.com/cooking-eggs-on-hot-girls-asses-at-the-beach/
I don’t know if this is real, but I laughed my ass off.
And when she “smiles at you with her eyes”:
Isnt it the same as doggy dinner bowl look?
Yareally etc :
Pretty straightforward question : how do you get to quickly have a girl sincerely opening up to what kinky stuff she is into sexually?
I’ve had a few girls whith whom I managed to talk about it, and it lead to mind blowingly good sex, and a very “deep” connection. But it happened after months of banging and through slow rapport building. I guess this is the “normal way” to go about it, but I figured there must be a “fast” way to do that on purpose (like Mystery’s attraction theory, with the switches).
I guess it’s about being nonjudgmental and sharing your own preferences?
“I guess it’s about being nonjudgmental and sharing your own preferences?”
Yup, you’re on the right track. I like to lead the conversation toward talking about sex and share stories about sexual adventures “lol that reminds me of this one girl I was seeing for a bit, she was super into spanking and this one time we (insert funny story, possibly made up lol)…have YOU ever (insert whatever)?” It sets the frame that sex is normal and fun and by sharing a story first you set the precedent that there’s no judgement in this conversation so she feels more free to open up. And by talking about another girl you set a lot of good frames about not being the Beta Bucks boyfriend type and because you’re talking about some silly story from the past instead of directly about you and this girl you’re talking to there’s less ASD triggering because she’s not involved in the story…so it’s like you’re indirectly displaying sexual value.
Click my name to hit my archive and use the search for “about sex” and “wtf were you talking” for more details/examples of how I do it. This should be the type of conversation you’re having on your first Day2 or first interaction or first week of texting her.
I actually find it’s easier to get into these topics with new random girls rather than long-term girls because long-term girls you don’t want to scare eachother off so you can both be more hesitant to open up, whereas with randoms it’s like who cares what this person thinks I’ll never see them again. A lot of girls will do stuff with me that they never do or will never even bring up with their boyfriend/husband because they’re either too comfortable with him to visualize him doing it or too invested in him to want to risk scaring him off (a lot of “normal” dudes are freaked out and go full judgement mode on a girl wanting to be choked or have her hair pulled or be called dirty names because their unicorn isn’t supposed to be like those slutty slut sluts lol)…or their guy is so BB to them that they can’t even picture him being the AF that they need and consider it a waste of effort to even try to get him to do it (since half of what makes a guy being dominant hot is when it’s part of his nature, not when she has to coach the sniveling beta chode into grabbing her by the hair and tell him “yes, it’s FINE I promise” when he whimpers “are you sure this doesn’t hurt too much??”).
And if it helps motivate you: This is completely something you can improve on. I was similar to you when I started out, I had no idea how to get the conversation to be sexual early on and I didn’t even think it was possible. It would take me a couple dates to even get the lay sometimes and there was a lot of slowly trying to escalate while we watched a movie etc. I was scared shitless to push the boundaries earlier in the interactions but once you do and you see how much they love it you never go back to talking about puppydogs and ice cream lol
My Day2s now are basically 10 minutes of small talk with some innuendo laced in, then talking about sexual topics for a while, then bouncing back and forth between sexual topics and rapport/comfort topics so she feels special enough for the night, then I walk her from the bar to my place. Takes anywhere from an hour to 4 hours and anywhere from 1 drink to 4 drinks but rarely longer than that and if I let it go past 2 drinks it’s usually because the chick is just cool and I’m having fun and I like flirting in public and causing a scene so sometimes I’ll extend things for another round or two and escalate to making out a bit in the bar (once I’ve done my logistical intel etc and know it’s on for the night, never makeout till you know you have a green light to banging that night) and build a bunch of sexual tension for fun. Soon as we get to my place I pin her against the wall and escalate before we even have our jackets off. No pouring drinks, no pretending we want to watch a movie, etc.
Never would have believed I could go that fast back in my early pickup days and especially not in my AFC days. Good luck, have fun.
Going fast sets up a positive feedback loop. You immediately become authentic in the frame of “pleasure seeker” and “boundary pusher”. same thing with strong “boyfriend posture” kino… all the subcomms are this is real.
would love to see some more on “state transfer” Ya…
Thanks for the solid reply, like always.
I just wanted to specify that to me, talking openly about sex has never correlated with getting the lay. I guess it’s because just having a deep one on one convo + escalating is enough to provide enough sexual tension?
To me, this is more about fine tuning my game out of curiosity, and also because I’m a bit hippie/newage about sex, I legit think it’s a way to express yourself, it’s the one of the rare moment when the social masks fall etc lol.
@Klem you have to start by sexualizing the interaction. A good way to start now is to say “What was your favorite part of 50 Shades of Grey” this has worked wonders for me.
Then de-personalizing it: “The spanking didn’t seem real…” what did you think? Take it from there.
@klem try this https://rivsdiary.wordpress.com/five-question-game/
YaReally et al – even a short FR of mine is in mod here.
Txt message version: Banged the hottest girl I have ever banged. Confidence boost is remarkable.
YaReally, Sentient, HABD, Kant, Walawala etc
Short FR to not tempt mod gods.
Banged hottest girl I have banged till date yesterday. 21 yr old petite brunette. Face: 7, Body: 9. Average: 8. Perfect slim body, zero fat, creamy skin.
Sugar daddy website. Set frame no cash but was sexual. She was still into me when we met. Textbook escalation..didn’t even finish first drink she was so turned on. Right up into my hotel room for the bang – no LMR. I had joked on WhatsApp about her dressing up for me- she actually took it seriously and had brought sexy lingerie in her handbag to dress up for me.
She said she liked being dominant. I ignored and threw her on bed and took charge – she loved it.
Great confidence boost
@CS
[thumbs up]
also, see my comment to YaReally above about slipping in a big one past the wordpress chastity belt…lol…
Seriously WTF – my comments from 24 April on the Devalidation post have still not shown up??
Yeah – mod is not what it used to be…
Have any posts in mod been released since around 4-24? seems not.
I don’t post much, but I read, and I’m super frustrated by moderation of late. Lots of posts with “longer reply in mod” and it never comes out!
@Sentient – yes, my short FR in this post was in mod for about a day and it showed up. But I can’t find comments in mod in earlier posts. I can only speculate that CH has just trashed all comments in mod from the last couple of weeks and started from scratch.
PS – Walawala – you posted something a while back about not replying if you text a girl to meet up and she says she’s not free. Something about how you “let the silence fill the space”. It’s really helpful. I think about that every time I’m wondering if a text is worth a reply or not..mostly it’s not. And they reinitiate more often than you’d expect..
@Culum great field report. Younger girls have less baggage so if you set the frame the are more inclined to follow it.
Yes, using silence if crucial. There was the 27 year old I was banging some time back I posted about. She just went weird…replied to me with one word once: “Nite”. I haven’t replied to her in 3 weeks. I noticed on her whatsapp she posted a note “I’ve lost your contacts please send again” which was bullshit. She could be more creative than that. Meantime I’ve moved on to others.
The challenge now is to translate that external bravado and frame you project to inner confidence so that you’re not so reliant on external factors (like banging 21 year olds) for your confidence boost. It should be the other way around: your inner confidence produces the bang. It’s something I’m now working on by internally flagging any beta/butt hurt triggers when I get a rejection or flake etc.
@Walawala – Thanks, there is def progress. I can actually feel myself becoming less reliant on the girls for validation but it is a slow process. I remember when going to pick up the 21 year old I remember thinking “It’s funny, but I am literally not nervous AT ALL. Just completely calm”. I was just thinking about how to handle her..
More to post about Whatsapp (had a couple of vaguely similar experiences to your lost-contacts girl) but I want this post to go through without mod so will post about it later.