“Wait’ll you see the size of this hole, Dick.”
Best Unintentionally Funny Football Announcer Line
Dec 28th, 2008 by Heartiste
Posted in Funny/Lolblogs
50 Responses to “Best Unintentionally Funny Football Announcer Line”
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
Jewish race ideology one-shotted our entire species. It even took out the South Africans.
https://therightstuff.biz/2026/07/27/tds1516/comment-page-1/#comment-904130
This is the headliner debate that factional pro-Whites need to hash out, because as I see it, the causative factor in the White race's fall from grace is best understood as the combinative effect of jewish agitprop and evolved White moral universalism.
I do not believe jewish race ideology one-shotted the entire White race, on its own. It needed a receptive audience to penetrate the White consciousness as thoroughly as it did. And it got that receptiveness from Hajnal Whites, who were already partly disposed to racial egalitarianism and outgroup sympathy. In other words, jews found a willing dupe.
Apportioning blame becomes a more nuanced pursuit given these realities. That said, we can't change White nature, but we can mitigate jewish influence. If Whites reclaim control of our messaging apparatuses, it would allow the healing process to begin, but the wound will never close fully until Whites have an internal reckoning about their own racial nature and what that means in a world where geography has stopped being a natural barrier to race mixing.
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
The Shiloh Hendrix trial was a jury trial. Shiloh Hendrix was convicted because most White people are cowardly, race traitors. All that had to happen was ONE of those fucking Whites on that jury had to say “no” and we’d have a hung jury. Even if the judge were a jew, it was not a bench trial. White people have been a fucking disappointment for a long time.
https://therightstuff.biz/2026/07/27/tds1516/comment-page-1/#comment-904083
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
Add another entry to my growing compendium of "traditional European clothing that covered most of a woman's body".
The circumstantial evidence is accumulating that for most of the history of Whites in Europe, female sluttiness was simply not a thing.
It only became a thing in the latter half of the 20th century. Hmmm.
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
Being a traitor is one thing. But being an openly enthusiastic traitor is quite another level of treachery.
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
There are times when Trump says things that betray his anachronistic neoliberalism. Recently, Trump revealed that his idea of a thriving economy is a growing 401K account.
“If you have a 401(k), how’s your 401(k) done?” he asked. “It’s about up 85%. ‘Thank you, President Trump!’ So, we’re all profiting.”
This is asset appreciation economics, which is the filter through which the 1% view the US quality of life. The problem for Trump is that not everyone is able to participate in the stock market casino.
Federal Reserve data (5) shows that the wealthiest 10% of Americans hold more than 87% of corporate equities and mutual fund shares. The bottom 50%, by comparison, collectively owns just 1% of that stock and mutual fund wealth.
If you wonder why our ruling trash refuse to do anything to help working class and middle class Americans afford the necessities of life, it's because the elites benefit greatly from the status quo. And they lie to you and to themselves that stock portfolio profits are proof that "everything is getting better" when it clearly is getting worse.
https://www.aol.com/articles/trump-says-everyone-america-profiting-125500000.html
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
There are no White people left in Paris, except the ones getting stabbed.
The demographic engineering of Western cities is a cataclysmic crime.
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
The most philosemitic, negrophilic decade in the US was the 90s. The Fentanyl Floydism that followed was the inevitable end game of forces set in motion three decades earlier.
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
Is anyone familiar with Islamic, Arabic, or Persian culture able to verify this widely-held belief that little girls are routinely married off to adult men?
I had read somewhere that the practice, where it occurs, follows a cultural dictate that the marriage remain platonic and supervisory in nature until the girl is sexually mature, at which time consummation is permitted.
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
It's easy to blackpill because...well, the reality of our situation is gloomy. Yeah, it's heartening to recall all those times in history when Whites faced seemingly impossible odds and prevailed, but this time really is different. The odds of success have never been worse. The challenges before us are truly unique in history; I don't think there has been a White nation or European empire which faced the demographic catastrophe that the Anglosphere faces today.
Still, one can find white pills where success is defined to accommodate them. For instance, instead of cleansing the nation of nonwhites (and their sponsors), we think in terms of carving out smaller nations from the tumultuous empire. Sorting and separation are more achieveable goals. Or maybe White Hajnalites -- mostly the liberals but including some cuckservatives too -- prove to be less clueless than current behaviors indicate, and that miraculously they not only come to their senses but go whole hog in the other direction.
Maybe Whites, while still controlling most of the nation's wealth, put forth a Marshall Plan of Repatriation, and buy off nonwhites to return to their homelands.
There are ways we can win without needing the most extreme and unlikely outcomes to materialize.
But at this point, it's all hopium and chin-rubbing until the "interesting times" kick off.
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Gaul Atreides @gaulatreides
So the "based" Ob-Gyn Girl is a grifter.
Shocked, shocked I am that there is cameltoe going on in this establishment!
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Football is for betas.
Regular readers of the blog Awful Announcing will know that line like that are a dime a dozen. Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8OcgZSrSxo&eurl=http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-12-27T12%3A30%3A00-05%3A00&max-results=11
Football is for betas.
And the sun rises in the west. Football is the most testosterone-dripping Alpha male sport on the face of the earth. If you’re an American male and do not worship the NFL, also known as The Most Important Sport in the World, at best you’re a freak and weirdo, at worst you’re some sort of faggot and a grave threat to the rectums of little boys. Having NFL season tickets is a sure sign of an Alpha male, though it’s even more Alpha to have owned season tickets but having had them revoked for getting into (and winning, of course) a drunken brawl in the stands.
Peter
Football is probably the ultimate sport. Its different positions use virtually every type of athletic skill and body type.
People unfamiliar with American Football are put off by what they see as “a bunch of guys piling up and walking around” but once they understand the rules, in my experience they get quite into the sport.
I’ve always found Baseball faggy and something that fat nerds masturbate to. Full disclosure: I was a good tight end but couldn’t hit a baseball if it were the size of a kickball and perched on a Tee.
Negative. Boxing is the true alpha male sport. It’s one on one and the consequence of losing isn’t a loss in the sports column, but likely being knocked out and getting your brain bashed about in its cage. You have to put aside your fear a lot more in boxing or MMA than in any team sport.
But American Football is a good number #2 along with Rugby, Ice Hockey, and the like and probably the toughest team sport.
Strangely, soccer fans are far more alpha in their behavior (or more Neanderthal) in the stands, even though the sport isn’t all that physical. American football fans are totally beta if you go to a game and compare them with fans at a soccer game in Europe or South America. People complain about Philadelphia Eagles fans or Oakland Raiders fans, but at their worst, they’re about 10% as bad as English soccer hooligans running about Europe.
Negative. Boxing is the true alpha male sport.
i gained more discipline, poise, and stick-to-it-iveness from louisville’s golden gloves than from just about anything else in my life.
BUT,
as far as sports that help to shape alpha males, i would say that the combination of at least one individual sport and at least one team sport is de rigueur.
boxing gave me essential qualities of character that i never could have gotten from team sports, and football gave me lessons in teamwork, compromise, rapport-building, and overcoming differences that i never could have gotten from boxing.
Johnny Five:
Totally agree.
Dynamo, haven’t we defined “alpha” on this blog as how hard females sweat you? While the UFC has made leaps and bounds in the last few years in terms of popularity, it still hasn’t quite crossed the bridge of popularity that NBA and NFL have. I’ve never encountered a female that could name a single UFC fighter. I’ll watch a fight if I happen to tune into one, but I hardly make the effort to mark out time on my calendar.
Thus, I’ll have to define the true alpha sports as football and basketball – whether its at the high school level, the college level, or professional level, there are always fans of both genders. Football being slightly more than basketball.
Sadly, there are no men’s level full pads-full contact football leagues that I’ve ever heard of. I have taken up rugby to fill my need for crushing opponents – and there are adult clubs in most cities. Like football, there is a position for everyone – no need to be 250 and 6’5 to play. Just a thirst for hitting people and a level of recklessness.
Roissy,
Write us a post about the great alpha males of the cinema, past and present.
Boxing is the true alpha male sport. It’s one on one and the consequence of losing isn’t a loss in the sports column, but likely being knocked out and getting your brain bashed about in its cage. You have to put aside your fear a lot more in boxing or MMA than in any team sport.
Boxing and MMA are terrific sports, but they’re also fringe sports or close to it. Football, in contrast, is worshiped by tens of millions.
Sadly, there are no men’s level full pads-full contact football leagues that I’ve ever heard of.
Yeah, what’s the deal with that? For people past college age football is entirely a spectator sport.
Peter
hockey trumps
endostory.
The toughest UFC champ wouldn’t last on your typical terrace on mainland Europe.
End of.
You’re all a bunch of girly queers. Buzkashi.
One of the more shameful episodes of my life was my high school football “career.” My father had been a very good college football player, so it was more or less expected that I’d go out for the football team in high school. I eagerly counted down the days until practice started, which if I recall correctly was a couple weeks before high school itself began. I was going to be a star!
Reality was rather less promising. Some of my friends had tried to tell me that I really should get myself in better shape before starting football but of course I had ignored them. Well, right from the very first day of practice it was painfully obvious that I was too hopelessly out of shape to even think about playing sports. We had to start each practice with a short run, maybe a half-mile or so, but I was gasping and red-faced and completely unable to run any further after less than a quarter-mile. After the first few days some of the other players took to smacking me on the back of the head as they lapped me. Everything else we did during the practices was totally beyond me. I was in no condition to handle anything more strenuous than walking, at age 14 I was in worse shape than the typical 60-year-old.
Within a week to ten days I threw in the towel and gave up football. I never even tried out for a sport during the rest of my time in high school or college.
Peter
Sounds like you are a pussy.
Why don’t you get your wife some herbal tea and rub her feet Peter?
Yeah, well, Einstein, if your IQ were high enough to follow this discussion you would realize that it is no longer possible for me to redeem my failure at high school football. Should I play in an adult league? Well guess what, there aren’t any, at least not for men in the over-40 age group like me.
Peter
Don’t justify your shortcomings to me cowboy, if you’ve thrown in the towel because you are a failure, not my fucking problem. Top yourself chop chop, princess, it’s for the best. You are pitiful.
American Football is the ONLY sport I’ve seen where the players are sucking on oxygen masks on the sidelines. Total pansies…
Soccer trumps for team sports. The players (minus the keepers) have to be in great aerobic shape due to the amount of running in a game (typically 5 – 7 miles), need anaerobic fitness for the frequent bursts of speed, and there’s the skill factor involved with dribbling, passing, shooting, etc.
Dudley, you are on to something, and quite possibly you may make up for the fucking impotent soft cock fairies who watched their sexual prime escape them and inspire those on the cusp of dominant excellence to learn from the mistakes of generations before them who whine about the lack of adult leagues of football for over 40 something fatsos who can only see their cocks while squatting over a mirror and hoping it will look bigger with a little furtive manipulation.
Soccer (football) fans are the true alphas and there is not a single fucking social more or pussification that will stop them from avoiding themselves frin the ulitmate ridicule of willing self castration of those punters living in the cultural voids of any suburban favela where the yanqui hoi polloi rot in submission to the overweight blimps that regard a BMI of disproportionate disgustingness as a badge of honour.
In short, there are plenty of fat disgusting cows that will dominate you if you are not mentally distinguished enough to recognize that battering women into submission with an unheralded ultra violence a la Ultras is a necessity for being accepted as a viable male leader.
I don’t expect most of you punters to get it. The ideal is above you. Just adore me and my ideology and guarantee that you wont be garrotted for mimsguided allegiances.
Hamas! Hamas! Joden ann het gas!!!
Based on the Roissy definition of alpha, I’d say tennis might actually be the most alpha because they get the hottest chicks.
They suck oxygen because it is the hardest fucking sport to play. Lets see some of those shorts wearing faggots take a hit from a linebacker. Or even a safety. Google Brian Dawkins. That man would chew up soccer players and shit them out.
Let’s see any of these so called wanna be ghetto gang starrs and their oxygen go up man to man against any Polish, Dutch, Italian or Russian Ultra in a fight. Never going to happen.
Feyenoord Top Boy, why don’t you go screw yourself in the ass with an iron swastika, you nazi fag.
Ajax forever, beach!
soccer and b-ball are the only sports where athletes act more hurt than they are. FUCKING GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! fuck what the fans do. still gay ass sports even if soccer fans fight more as hooligans in the stands. a sport is judged not by its fans but by its participants. FUCK EURO sports, the home of the beta male(Sweden). and fuck latin america, the home of COMPLETELY alpha behavior in regards to women, but beta sport behavior (futbol!). boxing is nothing compared to mma, boxing is a zero……….mma is K I N G. the purest form of combat.
S O C C E R is G A Y. accept the truth. a guy runs by you and the cross breeze encourages you to flail wildly acting as tho’ you tore every ligament in your knee and arm………and you fall to the hit the astro-turf NEEDLESSLY……F U C K I N’ G A Y.
quoting : on December 28, 2008 at 10:26 pm Feyenoord Top Boy
The toughest UFC champ wouldn’t last on your typical terrace on mainland Europe.
End of.
–
Minus the fact that the minute you start smashing people in teh face…..the pussies start quittting. i’ve seen hundreds of people quit mma, boxing, Judo, wrestling, muay thai since i started. stop deluding yourself that non “punching in the face sports” are less tough than team or other “ball” fuckin’ sports………your sport will never amount to what actual combat sports embody you nancy boy ponce.
Soccer is a boring sport to watch because it comes down to conditioning and luck.
The team that is in better physical shape at the end of the game when exhaustion kicks in and has luck scores and wins.
Football, on the other hand, is like a combination of chess, checkers, backgammon, wrestling, running, and shot put.
Men can throw the ball father than they can soccer kick the ball, and with better control. Football players use their arms and their legs both. They have to exhibit superior teamwork, with even the best receiver asked to block at times, and abort routes to give the QB an outlet pass.
The game is also highly specialized. Complicated protection schemes require big men who are FAST and QUICK, if not built for stamina. Wiry little runners who scoot through holes, big bruisers who run over people, savvy defensive ends and linebackers and safeties who can read a QB are all required. As are clutch punters, kickers, holders, snappers, etc.
Take away one thing and you leave others open. Stuff the run and the pass is open. Or vice-versa.
The action is timed for breaks, so the fans can follow intently and then take a break refocus, and outguess coaches and players.
The closest thing to the Greek Phalanx or Roman Legions in modern sports (or the Medieval Shield Wall and Early Modern Pikemen) is the unity of the Offensive Line when working, acts as one group, shoving the defense aside.
And anything can happen. Teams can blow great leads or come back from hopeless situations. A two score lead with two minutes to go against a decent offense is by no means safe. Trick plays abound. Defenses and offenses always change, and depend on study of opponents on film, not superior conditioning and pure luck.
Luck plays a part in the game, but it’s not dominant.
Most of all it’s a team game. No player wins or loses the game by himself, and the coaching staff plays a huge role (as opposed to Soccer where they just roll out the ball).
Teams with lesser athletes can dominate teams with athletic superstars if they coordinate better. The New England Patriots, Indianapolis Colts, and New York Giants have beaten teams in the Super Bowl (and lots prior to get to the game) that had on paper better athletes for the most part at most positions. San Diego, or Dallas, or Chicago, or New Orleans, or the Bungles all prove that having star athletes like Tomlinson or Ocho Cinco or TO are not enough. Philly shows how a team can right itself and play itself into the playoffs as a team, like New York before it last year.
In Soccer, getting enough superstars with superior conditioning and ball handling skills is often enough to win. In Football, it’s not, and can even be a route to losing if the guys cause distractions. In Soccer Coaches are an afterthought, in Football a treasured part of the Game (Lombardi, Halas, Rockne, are all legends and two coaches have NFL trophies named after them).
Final point: the NFL and College Football both explicitly maintain traditions, and traditional games, histories, and so on in an attempt to cater to American men’s desire to be a part of traditions. Their marketing, their uniforms, their presentations, all explicitly appeal to tradition.
Heck the Superbowl trophy is called the Lombardi trophy.
MMA is by far the most awesome/brutal sport. But basketball and football players get the most pussy, so they are the most alpha. I’m sure soccerfags get lots of Europussy, but in the States basketball players and football players dominate.
Actually I’d bet that big-name pro athletes are the most alpha people in the world. They’re usually large, fit, highly competitive men who happen to also be rich and famous (and therefore are also hugely self-confident). Winning in your sport is an obvious display of superiority, especially if you are the leader of your team.
And being the fan of ANY sport is not in itself alpha, even if you act like a psychopath (soccer hooligans). THe girls are getting wet for the players, not for the fans.
RagTag said:
“Dynamo, haven’t we defined “alpha” on this blog as how hard females sweat you? While the UFC has made leaps and bounds in the last few years in terms of popularity, it still hasn’t quite crossed the bridge of popularity that NBA and NFL have. I’ve never encountered a female that could name a single UFC fighter. I’ll watch a fight if I happen to tune into one, but I hardly make the effort to mark out time on my calendar.
Thus, I’ll have to define the true alpha sports as football and basketball – whether its at the high school level, the college level, or professional level, there are always fans of both genders. Football being slightly more than basketball.”
Ok, if that’s the case, you’ll also have to define David Beckham as the current top alpha male in sports, because he’s got women in a fit all over South America, Europe, and Asia. And you’d also have to define Soccer as the worldwide alpha sport, since no girl outside of the USA is going to drop their panties so easily for American Football players. They won’t even know who they are. You’ll also have to call ping-pong players alpha because they probably attract a boat-load of poontang in China.
I don’t think you can use the “attracts females” alpha scale on sports. It’s going to change from country to country. The reason women go crazy over football and basketball players in America and soccer players in Europe is because the male fans in their respective countries have given these sports stars high status. It’s men giving other men high status, which leads women to believe in their high status.
If you want to use the “attracts girls” alpha scale, I would say the appropriate way to judge a sport then is how much does the sport intrinsically help increase your game and success. I never thought about it until now, but, I had several amateur boxer acquaintances and they pulled girls way higher than what you would have expected given their looks, education, and wealth.
I think it’s probably because boxing helps in ways team sports do not. (1) You have to master your fear of your opponent, one-on-one, and you have no teammates to rely on. (2) You are totally and solely responsible for your failures. You can’t blame a shitty teammate like a goalie or quarterback for your loss. If you lose it’s entirely your own fault.
If you’re going to try to get a girl, I can’t think of anything that will help you out more than being fearless, confident, and disciplined. You’re going to be out, one-on-one on an island with a girl and you have to make a move. And when you fail, you take the entire blame and work on improving yourself for the next time instead of blaming the girl or the club or whatever for your lack of success.
I can’t think of a sport that wouldn’t help in general, but that’s why boxing will get my vote for most alpha.
@ ironrailsironweights
hockey is for alphas. physical, skill, a team to lead, individuality. you skate faster than you run and the boards stand still when hit against. football is 16-some games.. hockey season is 80+, not including playoffs
In terms of getting women in the United States, here’s my list of most alpha sports. I’m talking about playing on a professional level, not college or as a hobby:
(1) Baseball: There’s a higher percentage of women in the stands for baseball than any major professional sport and most of them are young and cute. “Chicks dig the long ball” as the classic Nike ad went.
(2) Football: Probably more due to it being the most popular sport in the US more than anything else.
(3) Nascar: SWPLs can laugh, but Nascar has a very large following and the drivers have very hot girlfriends and wives.
(4) NBA: Number one if you like the sistas like I do.
(5) Tennis: #1 or #2 if we’re talking internationally, but players like Roddick and James Blake have been able to pull some hot American girls.
(6) Hockey: Obviously #1 for Canadian girls like Elisha Cuthbert.
(7) Golf: I’m largely basing this on anecdotal evidence. Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, the two popular players on the tour are married to two very hot blondes. Probably the best sport for an LTR.
I left out “Olympic sports” because their alpha glory tends to be pretty brief. Michael Phelps is alpha supremo right now, but unless he gets in shape for 2012, he’s gonna be a “Didn’t you used to be…?” in about two years.
ironrailsironweights: “If you’re an American male and do not worship the NFL, also known as The Most Important Sport in the World”
…whatever…if you’re american, probably.
The rest of the world ignores the sports you guys like.
Europe/South America love Football (The REAL football…I wonder why you insist in calling it soccer instead. but that’s ok.)
whiskey: “Soccer is a boring sport to watch because it comes down to conditioning and luck…”
it shows how much you know about it.
Benedict Smith: “S O C C E R is G A Y.”
Benedict, soccer isn’t gay, but I understand what you mean (american GIRLS play soccer…that’s weird…not very popular here in Brazil at least).
But you typed “soccer” suuuper gay
Soccer is lame due to the acting jobs the players put on in hopes of getting a penalty call. I would have 10x as much respect if it weren’t so obvious. They show replays of a guy getting lightly tapped and he falls down, rolls 3x, and acts like his ankle just got broken.
Us American men like our sports to be manly, injury prone, and realistic while we drink our Budweiser and drive our Chevy’s
you really don’t watch soccer games, dude.
Based on the Roissy definition of alpha, I’d say tennis might actually be the most alpha because they get the hottest chicks.
This reminded me of a James Bond opening scene. One of the older movies (Late 70s / early 80s)
A gorgeous rich supermodel type was suntanning alone on a yacht off the shore of Saint Tropez, talking to someone (on a satellite phone?) about her ennui.
She said: “It’s all playboys and tennis pros here. I’m so bored. I want a real man…”
At that moment James Bond parachutes down from the sky and lands next to her on the yacht.
The reason women go crazy over football and basketball players in America and soccer players in Europe is because the male fans in their respective countries have given these sports stars high status. It’s men giving other men high status, which leads women to believe in their high status.
And also because these athletes have a lot of money. For that reason I would imagine that baseball players do very well with women too, despite the sport’s less-Alpha characteristics.
Peter
hockey is for alphas. physical, skill, a team to lead, individuality. you skate faster than you run and the boards stand still when hit against. football is 16-some games.. hockey is 80+
Hockey also benefits from an air of mystery, for lack of a better term. Most people cannot play it at all due to lack of skating ability. In contrast, just about anyone can hit a baseball, shoot a basket, throw a football, etc. on a strictly recreational level.
Soccer is lame due to the acting jobs the players put on in hopes of getting a penalty call. I would have 10x as much respect if it weren’t so obvious. They show replays of a guy getting lightly tapped and he falls down, rolls 3x, and acts like his ankle just got broken.
“Diving” looks lame but is part of the strategy for playing the sport under the rules that apply. As you note, it’s done as a means of getting penalty calls.
Peter
PA,
It was “The Living Daylights” with Timothy Dalton. Skip to about 6:50.
— The Detroit Lions are omega, not beta. If you want beta, go no further than the Dallas Cowboys. Their coach and GM (Wade Phillips and Jerry Jones) aren’t even leaders of children much less leaders of men.
Jerry Jones is as Alpha as they come. There was this one clutch game in the mid-90s against their arch-rival Washington Redskins. The Cowboys got sloppy halfway thru the game, and the ‘Skins started pulling ahead.
In the fourth quarter, Jerry Jones has seen enough. Like Zeus from Olympus, he comes down to the sidelines from the owner’s booth, looking like Satan who is about to self-immolate and incinerate half the football field with him. Everyone, from the Dallas head coach to the tenth-string special teams player, darn near shit his pants in fear. Right after that Divine Interference, the Cowboys got their shit together and won the game.
Now Redskins (my team) have been Beta since their ’92 superbowl win. Their longest-tenured coaches over this sorry 16-year period (Norv Turner and Joe Gibbs part II) were as beta as they come. The current coach Jim Zorn looks like a smart guy with balls. When the team underperforms, he is refreshing in his candor. He doesn’t say “we all failed as a team” or “losing starts at the coach level” or other such bromides. No, he says (slightly paraphrasing) “our secondary fucked up; out quarterback was an idiot; our defensive ends were pussies.”
Let’s see next year. For now, I continue to blame their dimunitive o m e g a male with an alpha-complex owner.
— The Detroit Lions are o m e g a, not beta. If you want beta, go no further than the Dallas Cowboys. Their coach and GM (Wade Phillips and Jerry Jones) aren’t even leaders of children much less leaders of men.
Jerry Jones is as Alpha as they come. There was this one clutch game in the mid-90s against their arch-rival Washington Redskins. The Cowboys got sloppy halfway thru the game, and the ‘Skins started pulling ahead.
In the fourth quarter, Jerry Jones has seen enough. Like Zeus from Olympus, he comes down to the sidelines from the owner’s booth, looking like Satan who is about to self-immolate and incinerate half the football field with him. Everyone, from the Dallas head coach to the tenth-string special teams player, darn near shit his pants in fear. Right after that Divine Interference, the Cowboys got their shit together and won the game.
Now Redskins (my team) have been Beta since their ’92 superbowl win. Their longest-tenured coaches over this sorry 16-year period (Norv Turner and Joe Gibbs part II) were as beta as they come. The current coach Jim Zorn looks like a smart guy with balls. When the team underperforms, he is refreshing in his candor. He doesn’t say “we all failed as a team” or “losing starts at the coach level” or other such bromides. No, he says (slightly paraphrasing) “our secondary fucked up; out quarterback was an idiot; our defensive ends were pussies.”
Let’s see next year. For now, I continue to blame their dimunitive o m e g a male with an alpha-complex owner.
More NFL betas: late 90s I think, New York Giants quarterback Dave Brown plays badly. Color commentators are saying that the team has no confidence in him. And here is the the beta clincher: a minor scuffle breaks out, he’s without a helmet, and the opposing team’s defensive player bitchslaps him.
(crickets)
Beta Sign 1: He doesn’t hit back (It doesn’t matter that the other guys was bigger, and wearing a helmet; man rule: a bitchslap is never unretaliated; no matter if the other guy is big enough to to kill you with a punch.)
Beta Sign 2: his team mates do nothing either. ANyone who knows football knows that offensive players would throw themselves in front of a freight train to defend their quarterback. Contrast this sorry incident with when the San Francisco’s quarterback, Steve Young, I believe, was late-hit by a defensive player in the end zone. The skinny wide receiver Jerry Rice damn near murdered the offending player for roughing Young.
“Jerry Jones is as Alpha as they come.”
Sure Jerry Jones is top dog in the Dallas Cowboys organization, but his alphaness is not the type that gets the team playoff wins (pussy in pads). Jerry Jones’ type of alpha is the alpha of the purse strings. The Dallas Cowboys have been a successful franchise during Jones’ tenure only when another more successful alpha has shared the helm. Jimmie Johnson was alpha deluxe, and the ‘Boys won 2 Super Bowls under him. He negated Jones’ meddling and won. The battle between alphas, which inevitably ensues, was won by Jones since he is the owner and all. Johnson moved on and had a somewhat successful stint with the Dolphins.
Bill Parcells, another alpha, structured the present day Cowboys. Under his leadership the Cowboys wouldn’t be the underachieving limp-dicked pussies that they are, but Jerry Jones repelled him as well. Now Parcells is at the helm of the biggest turnaround in NFL history.
Sure Jones is relatively alpha, but he’s lesser compared to Bill Belichick, Bill Parcells, and someone like Mike Singletary (at least so far).
Yeah, what’s the deal with that? For people past college age football is entirely a spectator sport.
The joys of a litigious society.
I had several amateur boxer acquaintances and they pulled girls way higher than what you would have expected given their looks, education, and wealth.
There was an amateur boxing reality show called the Contender on NBC and one of the first things I noticed about it was how much hotter the boxers’ wives were than what you’d expect for their social class, education and looks. So yeah, you’re definitely on to something there.
Boxing and MMA are terrific sports, but they’re also fringe sports or close to it.
I am old enough to remember when boxing was IT…the world heavyweight champion was the most famous (young) man in the world, and his bouts were the objects of worldwide fascination. Only the World Cup of football got more attention, and it sure wasn’t focused on one or two guys. I’d say the world heavyweight boxing champion was probably the most alpha male on earth, back in the day, with the possible exception of the President of the United States. And popular champions of the lighter divisions–the Sugar Ray Leonards–were scarcely less ultra-high status.
How the mighty have fallen.
How about John Madden CONSTANTLY drawing penises?
Uhmm,where does ice-skating fit in?
Re soccer: Beckham (like Pele)seems to be glorified long after he stops doing whatever it was he did so well on the field. He seems very popular with women–theres a funny pic of him talking to the candy-assed Zac Efron as his (Efron’s)girlfriend looks rapturously at Beck. His wife is a dog,he has a big dick. Ultra alpha???
Truly pathetic to think any other sports besides “FOOTBALL” is ALPHA in the United States. As a foreigner it is painfully obvious that everyone is obsessed with football. Just think about high school and college. The jocks (Usually football players / alpha) hanged out and fucked the cheerleaders. (Alpha females) The team will fight against the alphas of other schools.. if they win they party to celebrate the victory. Can be compared to tribes fighting each other, the strongest always wins, pretty much Evolution 101. Who is usually the most popular guy? The quarterback or captain of the football team.
Competitive sports in general are alpha, I think it was called demonstration where males would show off their skills and show their dominance over others. No girl is attracted to the losers.. (nerds and geeks).
Bottom line FOOTBALL is the alpha sport! Of course soccer would be the alpha sport in Europe. You will rarely find professional athletes with fat, ugly and mediocre women. Naturally they are above beta and probably all alphas. They competed their way to the top.. sign of true alphas.
Americans think their padded boring version of rugby is Alpha? A plastic helmet, shoulder pads, KNEE pads, thigh pads and obesity are Alpha????
I guess its how the Japanese think that Sumo Wrestling is Alpha, while the whole world agrees that american football and sumo wrestling are boring, pussy fatasses that play and irrelevant sport whose disapearance 95% of the people on the planet wouldn’t even notice.