Women love playful men. Playfulness, broadly defined, is nonverbal teasing. Or it’s the physical and verbal working together as an insincere form of taunting. Not many men are naturally playful, especially with attractive women. Men tense up in the presence of sexually enticing women, and this discomfort is anathema to cultivating a playful demeanor. Playfulness is lost with age, as well. Boys are breezily playful, but their effortless joy and naughtiness eventually succumbs to moodiness and the grind.
Not in all men, though. Natural Lotharios have a gift for retaining much of their youthful playfulness, which they love to display in the company of women. For example:
This girl buries her face in her hand and laughs because she has experienced a pleasant sensation: the mischievous flirtation of a cocksure cad.
Playfulness is attractive to women because it’s a type of humor. Women love funny men, and all that spazz. You don’t need to be jacked or ripped to tease a girl into a swirl of charged hormones. A six pack is great, but you know who’s going to get the girl more often, and be adored in loving honorarium by more girls?: The guy pulling playful stunts like the one above.
This is not to say playfulness has unlimited use. All play and no lay makes Jack a null void. Playfulness is like an indirect opener where the romantic intention is hidden under a layer of funnyman obfuscation. At some point, you have to drop the act and break the Fourth Wall, giving due to the sexual tension in a less joking manner. Excessive joking can quickly come to be perceived as emotionally distancing.
There’s one other reason women love playful men, and it’s the most crucial ingredient in the dynamic between the performer (man) and audience (woman). Playful men appear to suffer no worldly burden. They seem at ease, living in the moment, stress-free and unconcerned with public opinion. Leaders and charismatics share these traits, and women are powerfully drawn to such men. If we understand that women are attracted to certain male personalities that suggest an easy, worry-free life full of material comfort (and resources to be mutually enjoyed or effortlessly gathered), and bountiful choice in mates, then it makes sense that playful men trigger limbic love pulses in women.
Playfulness, then, is best seen as an indirect signal of female preselection (“he’s done this before with women and knows from experience it works”), outcome independence (“he doesn’t fear rejection or social opprobrium”) and self-assurance (“he’s not nervous or supplicating”). Playfulness is the opposite of desperation.
Playfulness can reveal self-possession, self-assurance, independence; being more focused on amusing yourself than hoping for a positive response from her. It also shows you are living in the moment. It implies you have an abundance mentality, so she thinks you’ve got plenty of good options.
This is a good point. When I play around, Im doing it for me because its fun to tease and cause chaos.
Lol
http://m.espn.go.com/nfl/story?storyPage=hotread141105
Idiocracy marches on. Of particular interest here:
“I remember looking at how young she appeared and thinking to myself, ‘This is a big job at a critical time for someone who looks like a kid,’” Isaacson’s co-worker Lisa Friel said.
Au contraire, she looks about 35 and the job is the usual sinecure. Consider this thought experiment: Will Anna Isaacson get fired if her activities fail and domestic violence remains an issue in the NFL in a year or two? Are there any metrics measured with targets she can miss? I hazard a “no” on both.
I was thinking similarly. Under feminism, a 35 year old woman who should have 3 kids by now is considered a kid if she looks 27, which this one does. They really believe that; she’s not an adult old enough to “settle down” yet in the eyes of feminism.
Horsefaced, ugly woman. Unproductive leftist job telling other people how to live. Name is Isaacson. And when you look her up online, you see those typical beady, slightly slanted eyes. Yep, she’s Tribe all right.
Oh yeah, and “lives in the Manhattan Beach neighborhood in which she was raised”. Now I’m just waiting to hear if she has had rhinoplasty surgery, has mommy issues and favors Chinese restaurants. Let’s hit all the bases.
“Limbic love pulses”.
Dam good.
Respect.
Solid gold CH… Love the eye brow raise ‘watch this” smirk…
this was ….. NOT me in high school. There is hope through game.
you can’t change your personality, dumb nerd. Only partially and because of external requests. You’ll just continue being a dork overanalyzing social stuff and trying to break it down, symptom of aspergers.
Playfulness is key.
For some men, it does not diminish with age, but increases. This may be related to experience, wealth, and success.
Girls of all ages love to be flirted with and teased.
I’m 23 now and i think i already lost my “playfulness”
i badly needed it back!
I loled.
Warning: excessive charming playfulness will trigger a “i bet you’ve fucked so many girls” response, which brings it’s own set of challenges to overcum.
My questions to CH…why does my natural playfulness and charisma come out for some girls, but other times it feels forced or canned, even when the girl is clearly interested?
Also, what to do in the presence of other playful, fun filled men? I feel like I become dull as a 2×4 in these scenarios. It’s like I want to scream that I’m fun and lighthearted too, dammit!
That’s the problem. You’re still vying for approval.
Have fun when you feel like it. Be serious when you want to. It’s up to you. Do what you want.
And when there are other “playful, fun filled men” around… your best bet is to dominate them by treating them like court jesters and yourself like the king.
Enjoy their attitude too, that’s the fun part. And when you stop having fun, and get bored, take your approval away and change the topic. Most likely, others will also be feeling bored.
I think a few tips already on the blog apply here and have been useful in my own experience: contrast is king (serious/low-key punctuated by humor), control the smile (limit your face to a smirk, smile on rare occasions), don’t guffaw at your own jokes (look at any pro stand-up comedian), can-i-see-myself-saying-it tempered with path independence/outcome independence, and abundance mentality (don’t get one-itis). If you feel like you have to work it up, maybe hold off for a better opportunity. You want to -feel- like the subject and leader, not the object looking for approval.
Recent example: mundane bantering with a chick at the SWPL farmer’s market, the bee product stand has beeswax candles. The thought comes to me and I’m out with it before any over-analysis: “look, this gives a whole new meaning to mind your own beeswax”. Big smile and a melodious laugh, conversation continues.
You just know it when to turn it on.
Nice. Reminds me awhile back, I was in a bar and talking to this tall blonde–not all that attractive, but I was just working at breaking out of my comfort zone. We got on the topic of food, she said she didn’t like beef and could only eat chicken. I then said, “so I guess you like anything that’s fowl.!”
She couldn’t help laughing. She even said “that was bad”, but was still cracking up. If anything, I think she was slightly embarrassed that she was laughing as uncontrollably as she was.
Not laughing at my own jokes. Thats one Im really trying to hammer down. Forget game, if youre trying to be a comedian thats a huge nono. Ive had some real good ones lately and the smile is just contagious. I try to remember to breathe and focus elsewhere, but it all takes practice.
couldn’t agree more.
the too-serious man (usually apoplectic to the point of foamy spittle flecks in the corner of his mouth with the thoughts of the Joos and rioting Nogs)…..well he get no poosy.
who wants to deal with all that real life these days? not pretty girls i guarantee you that.
+1 wisdom. However, kicking bloody ass with all sovereign seriousness does turn females on, but that’s not any time soon, maybe not in our lifetimes. I suggest emotional detachment from what was never yours (yours, any reader): wife, country; and what will not be yours: stolen or vandalized property, whatever. Never build on quicksand. So if you can’t knock being a serious person altogether, try (emotional) detachment. I bet Tilikum is serious about pussy though. lol And not. It’s a paradoxical zone. For me: serious intellectually, recreational emotionally. If the emotion does not serve you, abort it in your mind.
lol. actually i could care less about pussy most of the time and actually I am indeed relatively serious.
but you gotta shut that shit off and bring good emotions around the ladies. ‘spergy Omega overthink while valuable in its own right, has never helped a dude relate to a girls ladybits.
The Kurds are now quite openly stating that you should invest in their country because the caves of Shanidar (in Kurdistan) are full of Neanderthal bones.
they have a point
http://elitedaily.com/dating/gentlemen/8-reasons-real-men-dont-cheat/708215/
i bring to you lorde a fresh offering to be eviscerated with your linguistic shiv.
Oh God of the Chateau, annihilate this Manboob Paul Hudson of Elite Daily!
I like how he blames ‘douchebags’ for ‘breaking women’ but does not stop for one second to ask himself ‘why were they dating such men in the first place?’.
When will they learn?
They learn when they go extinct and your progeny replaces theirs. Evolution recycles atoms not individuals. No need to redeem all individuals because that is impossible. Nature doesn’t care. Neither should we.
One giant pile of ‘No True Scotsman’ crap. Yet another ‘article’ best read in reverse, as a ‘How Not To Get Laid’ style guide.
And from the same source, here’s some absolutely classic beta rationalisation for being friendzoned: http://elitedaily.com/dating/gentlemen/be-a-gentleman-to-get-the-girl/795041/
My favourite bit: “This brings me back to the frustration that haunts gentlemen everywhere. We literally embody most of the characteristics that women these days deem necessary all over social media, yet we get skipped for what seems to be a lower register of men.
When you are the best option available and you’re still not chosen, it leaves room for endless questioning. This can be applied not just to dating, but to life in general.”
Yes, that flickering you see is the faintest hint of realisation dawning, only to be savagely snuffed out by more beta BS. Not only women have rationalisation hamsters, it seems. And this mangina is employed to ‘life coach’ others!
“Gentlemen are a dying breed. It’s only a matter of time until we’re on the cover of National Geographic with a caption that reads, “In danger of extinction.”
In modern-day dating, that is unfortunately what we’ve been reduced to in the naked female eye; we’re nothing but animals.”
Haha. Enjoy the ‘equality’ you so vehemently support.
This brings me back to the frustration that haunts gentlemen everywhere. We literally embody most of the characteristics that women these days deem necessary all over social media, yet we get skipped for what seems to be a lower register of men.
Oh, that’s so funny. Did he ever consider that a woman might want to have a good time? That instead of a date that looks like an interview she might want excitement and entertainment? That she might want a man who takes care of his physique? He can’t provide what women want. And he has no proof that those who do excite women treat a girlfriend worse than he would.
Didn’t read his article but noticed one of his bullet points was “Don’t be an assh*le”. I can’t stand it when pillow biters omit a letter or two or rearrange a couple letters in naughty words lest they offend someone. If that’s the word you want to convey to your reader then fucking spell it out already. Also, any man who uses words like gender, vagina, penis, etc. is a little sissy bitch.
MZ: damn that was hilarious!
When you are picked last for the team, repeatedly fired from employment, but you are clearly the best for the team and employment, it’s time to advise others on how best to mewl over the unfairness of it all. and start a blog.
A blue pill checklist leavened with feminine shaming and some amusingly delusional terminology. “Paul Hudson” might as well be the pseudonym of a woman — there are a couple comments from women at the end which show more red pill than he. Just trace amounts of red, to be sure, but that’s enough.
Likely is just that: another woman, faking it for benefit of the sista-hood. Gotta keep those beta-boys in check!
Sistas can ride the cock carousel until the wall looms ever so large, but woe unto him who takes the red pill!
These elitedaily articles are hilarious. Just read the one about ‘reasons for being single.’ HAHA! Good shit. All I can say is, if girls agree with that shit, they’re lazy as fuck! That’s why they’re bloody single! Stop being a lazy ass.
“All play and no lay makes Jack a null void.” I admit it – the real reason I read the CH…it is laced, laced! i tell you, with brutal puns and crackling truthy prose.
I’ve received a better english tuition at the Chateau, than I ever did in college.
One summer in high school, I was painting cars with some friends at the car shop where one guy’s father worked. We took a break and we were all sitting in our white overalls outside in the grass next to the sidewalk, talking and laughing. Then a very hot girl and her short skirt came walking by, and as she approached we all fell silent. She was quite a sight. It was pretty obvious that we were looking at her as we looked silent like that, and she looked a bit tensed.
One guy was good at making animal sounds, especially at sounding like a chicken crying out. Yes, weird. Well, just as she was passing us, he suddenly cried out with that chicken sound, and the dam burst: We wolf whistled, one guy went “Mama mia!” and so on. And she kept looking straight forward but she was smiling broadly and her cheeks turned red.
Another time in the army we were on a bus that stopped by some red lights, and there was a hot girl sitting on a park bench by the sidewalk right next to us. One guy called out something like, “Hot babe!” and two seconds later every guy in the bus was pressing his face against the windows on the right side.
Suddenly the girl looked up and saw all these faces looking at her, and she quickly looked down on the ground, blushing. Then she smiled shyly, looked up again and waved a bit at us, and we all waved back until the bus started moving again.
Another time, also in the army, we were about eight guys marching down a narrow forest road in the hot summer sun when two girls came running in tight pants. I was leading the squad then and held up my hand to stop, and we automatically split up to stand on both sides of the road while these girls ran past us. They smiled and looked down on the road while we were looking at them, sweaty from the heat with broad grins on our faces.
Girls love these things, but you see, in each instance it’s wholesome guys complimenting the local girls in a joking way. This is the kind of relaxed flirting you can have when there are no alien elements screwing up the equation, threatening, forcing all to be weighed down by suffocating laws and caution and fear and doubt. This is what natural life is like.
But, but, but … That’s harassssssssment” shout the ugly feminists at once
Im always playful after i get what i want…
Playfulness in bed is the best. Those moments before and after sex when Jon takes advantage of our sexual and emotional state to break it a little with a joke, a tickle, some semi-offensive banter* or by turning it into a sort of wrestling match always ends up heightening the mood ten times as quickly as it dropped. Taking sex “too seriously” can sometimes ruin the fun.
*This is probably best kept for tomboys or women you know very well, some girls may find it an extreme turnoff, rather than funny, to be called “Peppa Pig’s bigger sister” when they ask how they look nude or if they’ve got fat.
Agreed. Sometimes sex is Discovery Channel-serious, sometimes the woman and I are in a silly mood. If the moment feels ripe for playfulness, run with it. Playfully take control: OK, let’s be serious, hon! Usually leads to more laughing, tickling, etc. Amp it up for a bit. OK, really, no laughing allowed, I mean it this time! Have -fun- with it.
A man who always tries to be on a deadly serious vag-slaying mission in bed is just that: trying. Don’t try, be yourself.
Exactly. Imagine if a woman just got down to business, scratched another notch into the bedpost and sent you on your way, and this happened every single time. I guess to a man it would feel more like being with a professional woman than the emotional explosion that happens to women in that situation, but it seems unpleasant nonetheless. Especially when something daft happens. For example, it would have been plain wrong not to laugh and joke that time when halfway through we suddenly heard the “Who wants chowder?” vomiting scene from Family Guy.
I fricken hate laughter in bed. Telling jokes? WTF talk about scene-breakers.
Wait, am I replying to a woman???
“Diff’rent strokes” and all that.
And yes.
Jokes… In Bed… sigh.
I am so glad that many Red Pill bloggers have debunked the idea of helpful female advice. It’s nice to giggle at the train wreck of semi-cogent thoughts and move along.
Ma’am there are many things that I do while laughing. Maintaining wood is not one of them. While milk squirting hee-haws may work for the XX folks. It is absurd to believe that laughter helps once the battle flag is flying.
Really sweety… check out the hottest sex scenes in the movies. Any laughs in that soundtrack? Any?
Sometimes women should really assess whether the help or just confuse.
Jokes… In Bed… sigh.
I am so glad that many Red Pill bloggers have debunked the idea of helpful female advice. It’s nice to giggle at the train wreck of semi-cogent thoughts and move along.
Yet if CH had written it you would have found a way to reason why it’s a good thing, methinks.
Come on, playfulness in bed is a common thing. Things don’t have to be so exact. Sometimes people forget the rule about how the rules you hear in the manosphere are not meant to apply in every single case. They are guidelines. Sometimes they are guidelines that apply in well over 90 percent of cases, but none of them apply in every case. There are always exceptions. As for bed, there will probably be few women who would enjoy it if you were playful with her the majority of times, but sometimes – of course. Especially when you have been together for a long time you will have variation.
Excellent analysis of amused mastery
Hello Yareally, HABD, Walawala, wanted to give an update on my spinning or slowly crashing plates.
1. 38YO Columbian who did not like me telling her what to do. If you remember she was into arguing with me. And was not going to let it go. So after 2nd date I just left and let her go. No contact. The masters on here recommended that I wait a couple of weeks and then ping her. Sure enough last week she called and hung up. So I waited another week and sent her this ping text. Recommended by Wala: Oy! There was not response. That was 3 days ago. Not sure what is going on here. But she is probably lonely during the holidays. But she is not responding either.
2. This was the 33YO hottie from Texas that visited and almost got the bang but then got cockblocked by my so called friend. Advice was to wait then Ping and just make plans for her to come out. So I did this. She did respond a little more quickly this time. But my text game is not witty and went no where . Here is the string.
Me: OY!
Her: Heyo!
Me: Hey cutie there is some really cool events going on here in December…come on down the week of the first and we will tear up this town
Nothing back. Silence so far.
3. Finally I got a text last night from the 31YO Indian gymnast last night. If you remember she was really into me. We had awesome times together. And sexually was some of the best ever. She was almost perfect except for one thing. She drank…a lot. And one night it got bad. And I basically split with her. She was mad but we did not talk after that. That was about 4 months ago. Then this text exchange last night.
Her: Hey how r u? 7:34 PM
Me: Hey girl 8:25 PM
Her: Miss me? 8:51 PM (shit test)
Me: Big plans for Thanksgiving 9:15 PM (not responding to shittest)
Her: Just the usual family stuff, how about you? 7:41 (this morning)
Thinking I will invite her out for drinks on Friday night. What do you guys think? Probably still has drinking problem but she is a great fuck and a lot of fun, maybe she has straightend up a. But probably not.
2. Hey cutie there is some really cool events going on here in December…come on down the week of the first and we will tear up this town
Should probably have told her a specific event to go to.
3. One has to wonder what would make a woman ruin her skin by excessive drinking. But from what you are saying, of course, ask her out for drinks.
Me: Hey cutie there is some really cool events going on here in December…come on down the week of the first and we will tear up this town
“Cutie” is try-hard. Better is “chickie”, which says that she needs to qualify herself. Fewer words with better pull are needed. Specific events.
That part of me is DEAD. I have only HAAAAtred to give the galaxy.
Yessssss. Let the hate flow thrrrrough yooouuuuu
that’s sad, bro
Classic negs:
A guy I work with told this girl “You look tired” without realizing that women take that to mean they are ugly. She subsequently spent several minutes in the bathroom trying to make herself look prettier.
It works!
I like to use that when the first words out of their mouths are “I’m tired”… which seems to be endemic, even amongst twenty-somethings.
When they hear the agree and amplify “Yes, you LOOK tired, indeed.”, you’d be surprised how they suddenly perk up in chagrin and begin trying to justify themselves or, as you say, discreetly head to the bathroom to doll up.
Interesting. Proof that everyone can see things differently. Where H sees Alpha confidence, I saw a pitiful display of attraction followed by a shame-faced display of “oh shit, now I have to make my LJBF explicit.”
But, the proof is in the pudding. I can get behind H’s analysis of this gif if for no other reason than he’s right about playfulness. It works brothers. So, instead of imagining this young man getting LJBFed I’ll imagine him getting laid instead in some awkward on the floor while the parents are out on date night situation, a more pleasant scene altogether anyway.