“In need of advice” asks:
What is the right move to make when you and a girl hold eye contact from a distance across the room? I’m thinking of some type of direct approach, but what type of line should I open with? Of course the target is generally in a small group, but…
Put yourself in a girl’s shoes. (You sperg types and psychopaths can sit this one out; I understand how difficult empathy is for you.) You are scanning the room, discreetly, hoping to catch an alpha male’s eyes. He sees you. (Or, rather, he sees your pulpeous lips, your sultry eyes, and your bodacious tatas. Thank god for objectification, otherwise you’d never get a date!)
He holds your eye contact for a split second longer than the average beta bear, triggering your discomfort and tingle reflexes simultaneously. You shift a little in your chair to make room for your engorging labia. What happens next will either maintain your state of intrigued arousal, or return you to the previous indifferent baseline.
If the man lowers and raises his gaze repeatedly to confirm that you are, indeed, returning it, you will lose interest fast. What kind of alpha male dawdles while life, and pussy prospects, zoom past him?
If he smiles while holding your eye contact, and then returns to talking to his friends, ignoring you, you are curiouser. Will he rendezvous later to strike up a conversation? Or is he toying with you?
If he waits, steely-eyed, for you to break eye contact (and you are surprised to find yourself always looking away first when a man confidently holds your gaze), then disappears from view, only to reappear at your side ordering a drink for himself (but not for you), you can barely contain your excitement.
If he holds your eye contact without smiling, without frowning, with just the expressionless blankness of a man contemplating the cracks in a sidewalk, and then calmly, slowly moves directly toward you, your anticipation grows and your nerves electrify. You know what he wants, but still you can’t wait to hear how he goes about getting what he wants.
If he looks away and pokes his friend, pointing at you while talking to him, then looks back at you and smiles, you lose interest. You feel your vagina prancing out of the room.
If he bends over and speaks to you through his ass cheeks, Ace Ventura style, you realize he is unattainable and lament that you will have to settle for a more predictable man this night.
I hope you are getting the drift of this exercise in imagined pickup scenarios. There are alpha ways and beta ways to initiate verbal contact after eye contact has been established, and there are multiple and varyingly effective ways for each. Getting strong eye contact from a girl before approaching — an approach I would NOT classify as a cold approach — is something many beta males rely upon because it is, in fact, one of the easiest approaches to execute. It’s the closest thing to a sure thing in non-social circle pickup that there exists.
(Try approaching a girl who doesn’t even notice you, or, worse, who looks away to the side when you try to catch her eye. It’s a whole other beast.)
In my personal experience, a consistently effective approach after strong eye contact — that is, eye contact which you determine is evidence the girl really likes your look and vibe — is to wait for her to unlock eyeplay first, and then simply walk towards her, slowly and deliberately. Usually, she will look up again and see your mighty visage coming toward her, and this will make her nervous. This is good, because a nervous girl is a girl who already perceives you as having higher value, and thus you will have prequalified hand in the seduction.
Once you have reached her side, look away from her momentarily, toward the bar or the crowd. Stand shoulder to shoulder. Allow a few seconds of uncomfortable silence to pass. Now this next step is key: do NOT say anything about liking her, or her liking you. She will be expecting that. An alpha male is rarely one to satisfy women’s expectations. You may go direct with your opener — “you really should work on your distance flirting technique”, “if you wanted to talk to me, you could have just come over and said hi”, “your friends are annoyed that you’re paying more attention to me than to them” — or indirect: address her friends if she’s with a group and act like you only came over to get a drink and socialize. Ask her what she thinks of girls who drink manly drinks. Inform her you made a bet with your friends that you would limit yourself to flirting with only one girl this night.
Whatever you do — and there are plenty of opener tactics in the archives — know that extended eyeplay with a girl makes your job a lot easier. She’s practically announced that she’s ready and willing to give you a chance. Attraction is yours to lose, so all you really need to do is avoid typical anti-game mistakes and know how and when to transition into more intimate rapport.
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