Commenter LauraByNight wrote on yesterday’s post:
This seems to suggest that a good strategy for finding quality girls is to avoid looking in bars and clubs, and maybe to avoid spending most of your time in places full of high-powered, high-strung women. I realize that this could be difficult for some men, depending on their jobs.
It also suggests that the old-fashioned idea of meeting potential mates through family and friends, or in school or at work (rather than a place where most people are hoping to find someone to fuck) would yield a higher return rate.
I hear this assertion all the time from those who believe that quality girls can’t be found in bars — “Oh, well of course if you go to a bar you’ll only find bar whores, what did you expect?”. The time has come for yer not-so-humble narrator to grind this idiotic meme into dust.
Here is a representative sample of the occupations of ten girls I met in bars:
Lawyer
Med student
PR flack
Pharmaceutical saleswoman
Smithsonian curator
Art gallery owner
Bartender (different bar)
Marketing
Teacher
Waitress/student
Here is a representative sample of the education levels of ten girls I met in bars:
Ivy league (2, including one Harvard grad)
Seven Sisters (1)
State school (3)
Grad school (3)
Never went to college (1)
Here is my informal judgement of the IQs of the last ten girls I met in bars:
150 (1, she was weird)
130-150 (1)
115-130 (2)
100-115 (5)
under 100 (1)
Here is a representative sample of the dress style of ten girls I met in bars:
Conservatively dressed (5)
Sexily dressed (4)
Sluttily dressed (1)
If it isn’t yet obvious to the “bar girls are low quality” brigade let me spell it out for you: Girls who go to bars are the same as girls you meet anywhere else. They are not an exotic subspecies of womanhood. I understand the impulse of the Loser Mafia to want to disparage girls who are confident enough to go to bars and scoop up tons of male attention, but the facts don’t bear out the comforting belief. That classy, smartly attired girl with her pink Ipod who’s picking through the organic bean sprouts at Whole Foods is the same girl who was at the bar last night hitting up chumps for free drinks.
Think about it — if you were an attractive girl why wouldn’t you go to a bar while you’ve still got it? You’d be negligent not to. A girls’s urge to feed her ego and take the measure of her sexual market value is intense, and bars are perfectly suited for maximum assuaging and feedback. Where else can she command the attention of so many men in such a short amount of time and limited space? (Tip: this is why you should never consider a bartender for a long term relationship. Any girl who chooses to go into bartending is a Ninth Order Attention Whore who needs hours upon hours of male flirtations and social stimulation just to feel human.)
But there are girls who insist they never go to bars. I believe them. These are the kinds of girls you will rarely find in a bar at night when the mating bazaar is wide open for business:
Fat chicks (usually not more than 10%)
Over 30 women
Ugly chicks
Fat and ugly chicks don’t need their fragile egos pummeled any more than they already are by exposing themselves to the hormonally heated competitive environment of a bar. If you are a fatty fucker you don’t need to go to bars; just step outside and walk the earth. If you’re a freak who likes ugly chicks, trawl Craigslist W4M. Fucking horror show.
Over 30 women are either married and off the market or unwilling to go pert breasts-to-sagging breasts with the younger competition. I don’t blame them. It’s easier to maintain an illusion of desirability if you never leave the house.
Attractive single girls who, for reasons of principle, heavy work schedule, or visceral dislike of the scene, never go to bars are a tiny subset of the total number of attractive girls. But just because they loathe bars to the point of active avoidance does not automatically impart them with a glowing halo. They just get their attention fix through other means, like, oh, to pick an example completely at random, blogs.
Attractive girls who are in happy, committed relationships are often the biggest propagators of the “bars suck” meme, because in their lovestruck haze they have forgotten just how many nights they used to go out to bars. Their opinion is of no use to any man trying to figure out where to meet women.
I once did the smart, enlightened thing and dated a “quality girl” I met at a painting class I had signed up for. While we were dating, I bumped into her at my favorite bar at 1AM, drinking with her friends.
Only suckers throw away their time and money chasing the elusive “quality girl” through events, classes, or expensive but socially approved status-whoring hobbies. Bars are free.
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