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PA suggests that emailing this song to your girlfriend or wife is a simple gesture of well-timed beta reassurance that (uncorrupted, foreign) chicks dig… in small quantities.

It’s a fine song of loving lovitude. However, halfway through the listening experience my eyes drifted down to a random YouTube comment.

my dad played this song every time he picked me and my bro up for his court-ordered visit with us…actually ROD STEWART was the only thing both my dad and mom had in common. All they did was argue.

You are carried aloft on the whispers of a soulful love ballad, inspired to newfound hopefulness about the inherent goodness of the universe and the nature of woman, when you feel a tug and realize, once again, the dark tendrils of ugly reality are coiling around your ankles, dragging you back into the depths.

30 Responses to “Cost-Free Gestures Of Romantic Reassurance”

  1. rmacon1948 says:

    I am in Benin. Will it allow me to make a comment? I tried on another thread and it didn’t appear.

  2. Jigga says:

    gay

  3. PA says:

    Glad you liked the song. Bummer about the Youtube commenter.

    That song gets it right, between the two extremes of mewling beta worshipping and phoney-sensitivity callousness. An example of the former is pretty much every Eighties love song, including the entire oeuvre of Lionel Ritchie.

    Examples of the latter are uncommon, such as a verse in Simon and Garfunkel’s “Like a Bridge over Troubled Water.” Seriously? “Sail on silver girl” ?? that’s just cruel. To a lesser extent, Stones’ “Angie”.

    Now look at Stewart’s song. It sexualizes with brilliant, indirect touches — and lays out the immediate basis of his original interest: “the attraction was purely physical” — by the way, who can spot the neg?

    The song flatters without pedestalizing; it promises commitment without neediness. It calls out universal human anxieties, like “you’ll be my breath should I grow old.” And notice that even commitment-words come form an egocentric place.

    Now look at the verses:

    “The big bosomed lady with the Dutch accent
    who tried to change my point of view
    Her ad lib lines were well rehearsed
    but my heart cried out for you”

    Translation: I banged some hot Dutch broad.

    “And there have been many affairs
    Many times I’ve thought to leave
    But I bite my lip and turn around
    ’cause you’re the warmest thing I’ve ever found”

    The lyrics are vague as to who is having the affairs but I go with it being the man. A woman who is having affairs is not going to be “the warmest thing.”

    It’s a beautiful song, with a touch of beta reassurance as acing on an alpha cake. You know you timed it well when your girl calls you at work crying after listening to it.

    • I’m not going to disagree with your analysis but I can’t stand Rod Stewart. His voice is grating.

    • Anonymous says:

      1) Listening to lyrics is gay.

      2) Analyzing lyrics is GAY PLUS AIDS.

      Take that shit back over to Andrew Sullivan’s blog.

      Fag.

      • Good point, Faggots do have aids. Seriously, God wiped out an entire city because they liked dabbling in faggotry and when our modern society decided faggots weren’t disgusting God made a disease that targets them specifically and we’re still arguing as a society faggotry isn’t disgusting. Even if you don’t believe in God and miss the clearly obvious “God hates fags” then you’re even more clueless to not realize “evolution hates fags” too.

  4. the latent sadist says:

    Rod stewart fucking sucks. with the exception of what he sang with the Jeff beck group in 1968 on the truth album. I’m glad this post ended with a return to realty. For Gods sake man suggesting we send rod Stewart songs! This dying us gay and a half btw.

  5. Matthew King says:

    If you send the Rod Stewart pussy song, you are sowing the seeds of doubt forever. It is utterly incongruent with your regular pose, and therefore it stands as hard-to-forget evidence that your alphatude is all in fact just a pose. The glitch in the façade that proves it is all a façade.

    “I used to think I could rely on him, but you never know do you? I mean, there was that one time he cried at the end of a Gossip Girl episode. Like, lip-quivering, empty-the-tissue-box, serious sobbing. Still not sure what that was all about.”

    You know Rod had to get cum pumped out of his stomach, right?

  6. corvinus says:

    my dad played this song every time he picked me and my bro up for his court-ordered visit with us…actually ROD STEWART was the only thing both my dad and mom had in common. All they did was argue.

    No wonder the marriage fell apart.

  7. John says:

    This isn’t on topic to this post, but it’s something I thought was funny and wanted to share:

    The other day I watched The Ten Commandments (Charlton Heston version). In one of the beginning scenes, various noble/harem Egyptian girls were in a stream gossiping and frolicking about. About halfway into the movie, when Moses has just crossed the desert, there is a scene where the Bedouin girls are feeding sheep and washing things around a well, and they are also gossiping and frolicking about.

    I thought it was amusing that no matter how high status or how low status the girls were, they acted the same.

  8. […] Cost-Free Gestures Of Romantic Reassurance […]

  9. Imperator says:

    Gay.

    Send her this. Chicks like dicks. It shows you remember and that you have a sense of humor. Worst case scenario you still do better than the douche that sends her the Rod Stewart song.

  10. quasi says:

    About the only Rod Stewart song I genuinely enjoy is ‘Stay With Me’ which is pretty much a swaggering PUA theme tune.

    Sample (opening) lyrics:

    In the morning
    Don’t say you love me
    Cause I’ll only kick you out of the door

    And, later:

    Yeah, I’ll pay your cab fare home
    You can even use my best cologne
    Just don’t be here in the morning when I wake up…

    LOL, classic. There’s even a reference to a tarot cards routine.

    Rod Stewart himself, no matter what you think of his music, is a notorious pussy hound, with a solid track record of Grade A, Hard 10 notches on his belt. Gotta respect that.

    • xanderlyn says:

      A lot his stuff with The Faces is like that. Proper old school “lads” rock – songs about drinking, one-night stands, doing time in jail, etc etc.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yah that’s pretty cool I guess

  11. John Dark says:

    I think that pop/rock music is one of the casualties of taking the Red Pill. It all sounds so beta. I am just about ok with Eva Mendes version of Chicago’s “If you leave me now” because in this context it is about woman who has been dumped by a man. But generally I cannot listen to the stuff anymore it is all so weak.

    And I take this opportunity to pay my respects to the ultimate Alpha, Rod Stewart. Here is the man who has banged his way through the best 10s in the western world. And made lots of money while doing it. The Alpha’s Alpha.

  12. Stig says:

    Gimme a song that I can send her that will make her say “eww. gross. next.” That really would be a gold record.

  13. anonYmous says:

    He sounds like Herbert from family guy.

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