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Sometimes I’ll be walking down the street, checking out a fine looking specimen walking in front of me, her wide, child-bearing hips sashaying left to right, the outline of her ass cheeks barely visible against the sheer fabric of her summer skirt, a hint of side boob, her hair long and complicated, and I’ll whisper to myself “Damn, that is hot”, and she’ll turn around and an ugly face will be staring back at me. Duped!

The above scenario isn’t common. Usually, whatever genes contribute to a woman’s sexy figure are paired with genes that make for a pretty face.

surprise!

The fathers of hot daughters aren’t wasting their unprotected alpha seed on mothers with butterfaces. The good face and body go hand in hand, like a hair pull with a forward thrust. 90% of the time you see a great hourglass shape from the back it will be attached to a 7 or higher face, so you can safely approach a hot girl from behind whose face you haven’t yet seen.

Borderline unattractive faces on top of hot bodies do happen occasionally, and it is usually a tomboy or fitness nut. These are the women who have worked their bodies into incredible shape from intense physical activity, but never bothered to learn proper makeup application or sitting with their good side facing you to smooth the rough edges of their faintly masculine faces. The next time you’re admiring the long luscious legs of an unattractive horse-faced girl ask her if she’s ever done a triathlon. Odds are, she’ll say yes.

A girl with a great physique but an ugly face immune to the effects of makeup has been the unfortunate victim of poor inheritance — she is the one who got her dad’s masculine face and her mother’s feminine body. She was born to pleasure men doggy style.

The reverse disturbing scenario — the pretty face perched on the ugly body — is much rarer. This is the classic chubby girl whose fat hasn’t yet migrated to her face, making her the perfect conversational and BJ partner. The reason you will not see this “oh, but she’s got such a pretty face” type as often as it’s talked about in popular culture is that it doesn’t take much extra body weight for the face to show signs of unattractive bloat. 20 pounds over normal weight is enough to puff out the cheeks and double up the chin, which will be especially noticeable every time she looks down to adjust her cheap hooker shoes.

In extremely rare hot face ugly body cases, it is a hot girl with some kind of bodily deformity, like a vestigial tail or a hunchback, or a moon surface of cellulite, that ruins the overall effect. For these girls, concealing clothing and advantageous body positioning are the answer, plus radical cosmetic surgery or settling for a grateful beta.

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